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High School Low

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki


High School Low
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 34
Update: Level 34
Required characters: Chalmers, Quimby, Willie, Legs, Louie
Previous quest(s): "SKINNERRRR?!" Pt. 4
Next quest(s): For the Love of Marge Pt. 1

High School Low is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Level 34 content update.

Dialogue

Pt. 1

After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark
Chalmers Look at this! The improved test scores have earned me a citation from Town Hall, "in recognition of exemplary performance."
Chalmers You did all the work, Skinner, and I got all the credit! It's every bureaucrat's dream!
Skinner - Happy And it's every toadying lickspittle's dream to make his boss's dream come true! Congratulations!
Task: "Make Chalmers Visit Town Hall". The task takes place at the Town Hall and takes 8 hours.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 2

After tapping on Quimby's exclamation mark
Quimby In recognition of your fine work turning around Springfield Elementary, Superintendent Chalmers, you are hereby promoted to Intendent of Springfield High School.
Chalmers Thank you, Mr. Mayor. Two questions: one, how is going from "Superintendent" to "Intendent" a promotion; and two, are you aware that Intendent is a made-up word?
Quimby I oughta be, I made it up!
Quimby It means a "principal," but where the town doesn't have the money to hire a principal because of widespread corruption that is in no way the mayor's fault.
Chalmers I got into education because I wanted to cut art budgets, not have contact with children! I won't last a day!
Task: "Make Chalmers Intend Springfield High School". The task takes place at Springfield High School and takes 12 hours.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 3

After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark
Chalmers - Worried Great Scot, Skinner! I had no idea the students of today had grown so soft. They're like pampered veal calves, but with an even less promising future.
Chalmers Heads always buried in their smart phones and tablets... What could they possibly be doing?
Skinner They generally use them to play time-wasting, potential-draining "freemium" video games.
Skinner Or at least they did until that fateful day when the game they were playing asked them how old they were, and they all had to stop.
Chalmers I won't stand for it! I'm going to turn these kids into rugged, won't-take-no-for-an-answer individualists if it kills me!
Chalmers We'll start with mandatory, 5:00 AM calisthenics!
Tasks: "Build the All Night Gym" and "Make Chalmers Lead Calisthenics". The task takes place at All Night Gym and takes 4 hours.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 4

After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark
Chalmers Participation in my morning calisthenics program is at 0%.
Skinner Look on the bright side. That's a lot higher than any of us expected sir.
Skinner "Any of us" being people educated in Springfield public schools, who due to years of poor math instruction, don't understand how percentages work.
Chalmers I've got to think of something. I always do my best thinking when I'm in the wilderness, honing my manly skills by surviving off the land.
Tasks: "Place a Camp Fire" and "Make Chalmers Survive Off the Land". The task takes place at a Camp Fire and takes 24 hours.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 5

After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark
Chalmers Did you realize, Seymour, that physical education in this school includes classes in "Badminton" and "Golf?"
Chalmers No wonder these children are blobs of goo.
Skinner The kids do enjoy badminton. They get to say "shuttlecock" a lot.
Chalmers You're not supposed to enjoy sports
Chalmers Sports should push you to the brink of death, leave you utterly spent, heaving desperate gasps between blood-speckled coughs, asking yourself "Why, God, why am I so weak?"
Chalmers From now on, the only sport here is Greco-Roman wrestling! And matches don't stop until both students are crying!
Task: "Make Chalmers Intend Springfield High School". The task takes place at Springfield High School and takes 12 hours.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 6

After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark
Chalmers Starting today, all Springfield High School students will participate in the following classes:
Chalmers Leadership, Mountaineering, Rough-Riding, Big Game Hunting, Celestial Navigation...
Chalmers ...Tourniquet Making, Foraging, Trust Busting, Manliness...
Chalmers ...Orienteering, Bare-Knuckle Brawling, Big Game Hunting II: Perspectives in Taxidermy, Chivalry...
Chalmers ...American Expansionism, Knife Sharpening, Knife Making, Knife Throwing, and Deep Jungle Exploration.
Chalmers If you have any questions, keep them to yourselves. That is all!
Task: "Make Chalmers Intend Springfield High School". The task takes place at Springfield High School and takes 12 hours.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 7

After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark
Chalmers Groundskeeper Willie! I wonder if you'd have time to build a caber-toss field at Springfield High.
Willie But the noble Scottish sport of caber tossing was banned in Springfield years ago, on account of its being incredibly hazardous and generally pointless.
Chalmers We're bringing it back!
Chalmers I'll not send a single student off to college who isn't adept at heaving a tree trunk end-over-end so that it lands as close to a "twelve o'clock" position as possible.
Chalmers It would be un-American to do so!
Willie I think I'm going to cry...
Task: "Make Willie Build a Caber Toss Field". The task takes place at Springfield High School and takes 4 hours.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 8

After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark
Chalmers Corpulent Anthony!
Fat Tony Yes?
Chalmers My students are cowards!
Chalmers I want you to send some of your toughest enforcers into my school, and push them around until they learn to stand up for themselves.
Chalmers You're welcome to keep any lunch money that the weaker ones fork over.
Fat Tony What a shockingly wrong-headed educational initiative. However, no grown-up bully can say "no" to lunch money.
Tasks: "Make Legs Intimidate Students" and "Make Louie Intimidate Students". The tasks take place at Springfield High School and take 24 hours.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 9

After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark
Chalmers I've done it. I've molded these blubber-wrapped vidiots into capable young Americans.
Chalmers Who are shockingly ignorant of literature, but still.
Chalmers I think I should reward myself with a little "me time."
Task: "Make Chalmers Lead Calisthenics". The task takes place at All Night Gym and takes 4 hours.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 10

After tapping on Chalmers's exclamation mark
Chalmers I've got another invitation to Town Hall. Wonder what it could be for this time?
Chalmers Maybe they've got a special commendation for me!
Task: "Make Chalmers Visit Town Hall". The task takes place at the Town Hall and takes 8 hours.
Quimby You idiot! You've transformed this town's kids into self-reliant, confident individualists. What do you have to say for yourself?
Chalmers Uh... you're welcome?
Quimby No! You don't get it, do you?
Quimby Do you think I've allowed this town's schools to fall apart by accident? That I didn't INTEND for every class to receive a poorer education than the one before?
Chalmers But why would you do that?
Quimby Because stupid people vote for incumbents!
Quimby You start churning out free thinkers, me and every other incumbent in this declining country is doomed! THEN where will we all be?
Quimby You are hereby demoted from Intendent to Superintendent. Now get out of my sight!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 11

After tapping on Chalmers's exclamation mark
Chalmers I've failed. And relegated the children of Springfield to a life of ignorance and laziness.
Chalmers It's times like this when the only thing that can cheer me up is partaking in an activity that is a playful pun on my beloved catchphrase.
Tasks: "Place a Minnow Pond" and "Make Chalmers Catch Some "DINNERRRR?!"". The task take place at a Minnow Pond and takes 8 hours.
Quest reward: Cash2,500 and XP250