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The Golden Age of Swingers

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The Golden Age of Swingers
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 9
Update: Valentine's Day 2016
Required characters: Skinner, Martin, Bart, Grampa
Optional characters: Milhouse, Janey, Molloy, Old Jewish Man, Jasper, Agnes, Ned, Professor Frink, Snake, Fat Tony, Brockman, Luigi, Willie, Mr. Burns, Moe, Moleman, Giuseppe, Judge Snyder
Previous quest(s): Valentine's Forgotten Favors
Next quest(s): A Woman of Much Importance Pt. 1

The Golden Age of Swingers is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Valentine's Day 2016 content update.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After completing Valentine's Forgotten Favors
Grampa Who needs a good-for-nothing son to have a good-for-something time? Jasper, remember the Coconut Babaloo?
Jasper Sure do. Best hemorrhoid cream in all of Springfield.
Grampa - Serious It was a nightclub.
Jasper Sure was. Best nightclub in all of Springfield.
Grampa Until they closed it down for no good reason... after all those unsolved stabbings.
Old Jewish Man - Happy Ah, I remember it well. The wail of the jazz band, the jangle of the roulette wheel, the screams from the back alley.
Grampa We could have that again!
Molloy I'm afraid my stabbing days are behind me. Oh, you meant the nightclub.
Message Recruit Molloy to earn double Valentine's rewards!
Task: "Make Skinner Take Shelter From His Mother". The job takes place at a Kwik-E-Mart and takes 3 hours.
Task: "Collect Valentine's Hearts" (x6).
Bart - Surprised Principal Skinner? Normally this storm drain is where I hide from YOU!
Skinner - Annoyed It's Mother. She's been reminiscing about past conquests a lot lately.
Bart Like Grampa's war stories?
Skinner - Sad Well there certainly were a lot of sailors involved.
Message Tune into this week's Simpsons to see what Springfield gets up to for Valentine's Day! Sunday 8/7 Central on FOX!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Coconut Babaloo

Pt. 2[edit]

After completing Pt. 1
Grampa - Happy The Babaloo, returned to its former glory! A nightclub of this caliber deserves a fitting opening.
Old Jewish Man I'm happy to drop my pants and croon "The Old Gray Mare." TV Guide once called my act "9/8pm Central."
Ned Not to butt in, but given the season, how about making it a Valentine's Day Grand Opening?
Jasper That would give me a chance to show off my senior citizen-specific candy hearts!
Ned "Don't Replace Me Like a Hip", "Widow Me Not"? These seem awfully bleak.
Jasper You should see the ones I cut.
Task: "Make Martin Set Up the Flower Cart". The job takes place at the Coconut Babaloo and takes 3 hours.
Task: "Collect Valentine's Hearts" (x8).
After starting Martin's job
Martin I couldn't help but notice you were preparing for a Valentine's shindig! Might I offer my meager assistance?
Jasper Sure thing, little eunuch boy. You can set up this cart.
Martin - Happy Behold these bountiful bouquets of floral favors! How did you achieve such vibrant colors?
Jasper Crushed my pills in their water. I can't feel my feet, but it was worth it.
After starting to collect Valentine's Hearts
Agnes - Angry Seymour, go dry the grass! You know how I feel about dew -- it's just rain too lazy to fall.
Skinner - Annoyed Sometimes the way you treat me makes me want to give you a piece of my mind.
Agnes - Annoyed Wah wah, why don't you write down your touchy feelings.
Skinner I did. In this Valentine's card. Would you be my Valentine?
After finishing the tasks
Message Visit the Valentine's store to romance up your Springfield!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Lovely Flower Cart

Pt. 3[edit]

After completing Pt. 2
Grampa - Sad At this rate, by the time we finish the Babaloo we'll be dead. Or, even worse, older.
Bart Why not ask for help? People love caring for, visiting, and feeding carrots to the elderly. No wait, I'm thinking of petting zoos.
Molloy - Annoyed Pfft, the elderly being ignored is why I turned to crime in the first place.
Bart - Sneaky Hmm. If I agree to help, will you teach me how to steal things?
Molloy Okay. But first you have to go through the long process of losing your respect for the law.
Bart Sorry, what was that? I got distracted pouring sugar into these gas tanks.
Molloy - Happy You're ready.
Task: "Make Bart Steal Candy From Occupied Adults". The job takes place at the Coconut Babaloo and takes 3 hours.
Task: "Collect Valentine's Hearts" (x10).
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Renovated Coconut Babaloo

Pt. 4[edit]

After completing Pt. 3
Grampa - Happy A beaut! Just as I remember it.
Jasper Minus the muggers, drunk bums, and ladies of the night.
Old Jewish Man - Happy I don't know about the first two but I don't mind standing in for the third.
Molloy Now we just need to drum up some lovely dates. Shall we do it the old fashioned way?
Jasper - Spacey You mean tell them we're Pinkerton agents with incriminating evidence against their husbands?
Grampa Not that old fashioned! I meant having a nice ride.
Task: "Make Grampa Steal Keys From the Valets". The job takes place at the Coconut Babaloo and takes 3 hours.
Task: "Collect Valentine's Hearts" (x12).
Grampa - Surprised Hey, these are MY old car keys! Haven't seen the old girl in years.
Grampa Not since gambling her away. I bet it all on red.
Grampa - Innocent Who knew the Commies were gonna lose the Cold War?
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Starline Commander

Pt. 5[edit]

After completing Pt. 4
Grampa The Babaloo is ready, the stars are out, and we're finally together.
Grampa - Happy Where have you been all these years, my chrome beauty?
Starline Commander *honk honk*
Grampa - Happy Hong Kong? You lucky jet-setter. Tell me everything.
Task: "Make Grampa Rendezvous With His Car". The job takes place at the Starline Commander and takes 3 hours.
Task: "Collect Valentine's Hearts" (x15).
Martin - Happy Doesn't it warm the cockles of your heart to see senior citizens dancing the night away, awash in romance?
Homer - Serious My cockles are ice cold, thank you.
Homer Old people's love should be reserved for grandkids and voting in local elections.
Helen Lovejoy Or for lying in hospital beds wired to machines, like God intended.
Lisa Well, I think it's sweet. Love has no age requirements.
Bart - Happy Just like this club. Whiskey and coke, please!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Mona