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The Simpsons: Tapped Out Tavern Trouble content update/Gameplay

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< The Simpsons: Tapped Out Tavern Trouble content update
Revision as of 08:36, February 6, 2022 by Solar Dragon (talk | contribs)
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Men of Brew Words[edit]

After the user logs in on July 14th:
Tapped Out Harv Bannister Icon.png Ah, Moe's Tavern...the best drink of all time was invented right here!
Moe The sign says "NO UNPROMPTED DECLARATIONS WHEN ENTERING" — so get lost, weirdo!
Homer *entering Moe's Tavern* I'm never going to Alaska again! Baseball's a second-tier sport! Funnel cake should be sold everywhere, not just amusement parks!
Moe Hi there, Homer! I'll get you your usual.
Tapped Out Harv Bannister Icon.png Homer Simpson and Moe Szyslak — just the two people I came all this way to see!
Homer Moe, who is this jerk?
Tapped Out Harv Bannister Icon.png Harv Bannister. Tipsy McStagger's Good Time Drinking and Eating Emporium.
Homer Wait, I know this jerk! You're that news anchor who fell face-first into that alligator! I thought you died!
Tapped Out Harv Bannister Icon.png That wasn't me. And yes, he did die.
Moe Hmm, you do look vaguely familiar though... You a loan shark from Kansas City? Because I've never been there before. Never.
Tapped Out Harv Bannister Icon.png I'm the guy who tried to buy the secret recipe to the Flaming Moe off of you.
Homer The drink that I invented, then Moe stole and renamed after himself?!
Moe I didn't steal nothing! I created the Flaming Moe!
Homer It's called the Flaming Homer and Homer invented it — and Homer is me!
Tapped Out Harv Bannister Icon.png Look, I'm on the hunt to introduce the next Flaming Moe...
Homer Flaming Homer!
Tapped Out Harv Bannister Icon.png ...and I thought I could put your genius inventing heads together to create the next drinking sensation!
Moe What's in it for us?
Tapped Out Harv Bannister Icon.png A substantial cash prize of course!
Homer Woo-hoo! A vague amount of money!
Moe I could pay that Kansas City loan shark back!
Task: Make Homer Insist He's the Drink-Inventing Genius (6s, Moe's Tavern, Hell Moe's, Beer -N- Brawl, Knockers, CBGB, Jazzy Goodtime's, Eatery or Brown House)
If the user has Moe: Task: Make Moe Insist He Can Create a Better Drink (6s, Moe's Tavern, Hell Moe's, Beer -N- Brawl, Knockers, CBGB, Jazzy Goodtime's, Eatery or Brown House)
Moe Homer, I know you have strong feelings about all this "who invented what" nonsense, but if we don't work together, no one gets the prize money.
Homer Okay, fine. I guess we'll team up to create the greatest drink of all time...
Moe So...should we start by choosing what kind of glass it's served in?
Homer Sure, at least that'll be easy...
Moe How 'bout a small tumbler? You know, like the ones I used when I invented the Flaming Moe.
Homer I INVENTED IT!
Moe Flaming Moe — trademark: Moe Szyslak!
Homer If you had WiFi at this crappy bar, I'd log on to Disney+ right now and show you the video of me inventing it!
Moe Well, along with having no internet, my bar has a strict "NO BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL" policy! So, get outta here!
Homer I'm done with this lousy dive bar anyway!
Moe Oh yeah? What are you gonna do? Drown all your troubles at some other place?
Homer I'm going to a bar where there's good internet and people that don't steal all your ideas!
Moe A bar that has internet isn't a bar — it's a coffee shop with a liquor license!
Homer Lenny, Carl, Barney — let's go.
Carl Oh, you wanted us to go with you? This bar's kind of the only place where we exist.
Lenny Yeah, I don't know where else I'd go. I don't think I have a house here...
Carl I thought you had a townhome?
Lenny Maybe? It's all unclear.
Barney *burps*
Homer Well, I don't need you guys anyway! Goodbye forever!
Moe And stay out!
Moe He'll be back...right?
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

The Long Way Homer[edit]

The Long Way Homer Pt. 1[edit]

After completing Men of Brew Words:
Homer Lousy Moe-supporting jerks! Look at me, I'm Lenny and I just love that apron-wearing drink thief!
Homer Luckily there's a million good bars in Springfield I can go to.
Homer *walking past bars* "Coyote Rugby", "The Golden Wicket", "O'Darts", "Cancun Monsoon", "Señor Booze", "The Tsarina's Ice Palace", "Casanova Scotia"...
Homer *groans* These all sound too European, too spring break, or too cold inside.
Homer Ooh, "The Bendy Elbow". I get it! Because your elbow bends when you drink! Finally, a bar that makes sense!
Tapped Out Capri Flanders Icon.png Hey, I remember you, you're Ned's neighborino. Welcome to The Bendy Elbow!
Homer Usually I'd hate hearing the sound "ino" after a word, but I'm just so happy to feel welcomed.
Chester Dupree Bend your elbow back, take a drink, and tell us what's goin' on with you, man.
Homer *chugs beer* Well, if you insist...
Task: Collect Bottle Caps [x155]
Task: Make Homer Go On and On About Moe (4h, Jazzy Goodtime's, Beer -N- Brawl, Knockers, CBGB, Eatery or Brown House)
Task: Make Everyone Get Sick of Homer [x3] (4h, Jazzy Goodtime's, Beer -N- Brawl, Knockers, CBGB, Eatery or Brown House)
Characters: Capri Flanders, Chester Dupree, CJ Pro Bidder, June Bellamy, Esme Delacroix, Dave Shutton, Skinner, Quimby, Freddy Quimby, Sanjay, Mrs. Krabappel, Helen Lovejoy, Luigi, Agnes)
Homer ...so that's when I told Moe, "goodbye forever!"
Homer *burps*
Tapped Out Capri Flanders Icon.png Wait, so we're just your rebound bar?
Homer Well, yeah, but that doesn't mean—
Chester Dupree *shaking head* Not cool, man. Not cool.
Tapped Out Capri Flanders Icon.png You should leave now, rebounderino!
Homer But the internet's so fast here and I'm pretty sure you charge less than 75 cents to use the toilet...
Tapped Out Capri Flanders Icon.png I said, get out!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

The Long Way Homer Pt. 2[edit]

After completing The Long Way Homer Pt. 1:
Homer Stupid Flanderses! Mean to me just because I suck to be around!
Homer Hopefully, this bar will be good...
Wiggum Hey Homer, come on in! "Five O'Clock Somewhere's" is the best spot in town!
Homer Ooh, is this a cop bar?
Wiggum Unofficially. We mostly come here for the chicken tenders. They're fried to perfection.
Homer Tendered chicken...
Lou Also, the beer list is huge.
Wiggum Yeah, they've got Duff, Duff Lite, Duff Platinum, Duff Gold, Raspberry Duff, Duff IPA, Duff Zero, Duff Genuine Duff, Duff Lime...
Homer Ooh, so many choices. I'll take one Duff, please.
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png And I'll take a brandy, room temperature. Actually, make it yoga studio temperature.
Homer Freelance detectives are allowed in a cop bar? I thought you guys hated each other?
Lou Manacek? We love Manacek!
Wiggum Yeah, he's always spouting off weird Polish proverbs and solving our impossible-to-solve cold cases.
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png An old dog always smells distant trouble, but don't expect it to bite the nose of the thief.
Wiggum I like you, Manacek.
Homer Less talk, more drink! *chugs beer*
Eddie *chugs beer*
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png *sips brandy*
Task: Collect Bottle Caps [x155]
Task: Make Homer Drink Ten Duffs (2h, Knockers, Beer -N- Brawl, Jazzy Goodtime's, CBGB, Eatery or Brown House)
If the user has Wiggum, Lou, Eddie or K9 Officer: Task: Make Cops Cut Homer Off [x2] (2h, Knockers, Beer -N- Brawl, Jazzy Goodtime's, CBGB, Eatery or Brown House)
Characters: Wiggum, Lou, Eddie, K9 Officer
Wiggum I think you should call it a night, Homer. You've had a few too many.
Homer I'm fine, I'm fine.
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png Look Homer, even a divorced mouse on a cheese farm can't afford his legal fees.
Homer What's with this place? I said I'm fine — and usually when I say that, the bartender just gets me another beer.
Wiggum Come on, drunky. Let's go.
Homer What are you going to do? Shoot me? Because you can't! You lost your gun years ago!
Lou Is that true, Chief?
Wiggum I really looked everywhere for it.
Homer *pointing* That thing in his holster is really just a label maker! I know, 'cause Marge has the same one.
Wiggum Well, for that I'm labeling you "NIGHT IN THE DRUNK TANK".
Homer Ha! That's too many letters!
Wiggum Oh, I've got letters.
Homer *shrieks* Run!
Lou Did he just yell "run" to himself?
Wiggum I believe he did, Lou. I believe he did. Now, should we order more chicken tenders?
Lou Good idea, Chief.
Tapped Out Manacek Icon.png Ooh, order some for me too.
Wiggum *into radio* Dispatch, 223: Tenders last seen heading south. Three more baskets needed. Also, some ranch reinforcements would be great.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

The Long Way Homer Pt. 3[edit]

After completing The Long Way Homer Pt. 2:
Homer I'm drunk, which means I need to find a nice comfortable bar to get me more drunk! Ooh, this place has food too!
Colette Welcome to Ramen Coma. What can I get you?
Homer I'll take a mega ramen bowl with extra chashu — oh, and two beers.
Colette Hey, you look familiar. Have you ever been to a gross, sticky tavern with a mean bartender who's always kicking people out with a shotgun?
Homer Yeah, I've been there once or twice.
Colette I used to work there when it was called Flaming Moe's!
Homer Oh yeah, I remember you! Moe hired you when he needed extra help! I'm Homer!
Colette Homer, that's right! I'm Colette. So what brings you out here tonight?
Homer Well, I used to be a regular at Moe's, but now I hate him because not only did he steal my Flaming Homer drink, but now he's making it seem like he was the one who invented it.
Colette So you told him you were never going back to his stupid tavern again.
Homer Wait, how'd you know I said that?
Colette *shrugs* It just seemed like that's where your story was headed.
Homer Anyway, Moe probably doesn't even care that I'm never going back to his stupid tavern again.
Colette You might be surprised, Homer. Slurp some ramen and listen to a bit of advice from someone who was there when it all happened...
Task: Collect Bottle Caps [x115]
Task: Make Homer Put on a Parka Before Slurping More Ramen (4h, Madame Chao's, Chinese Restaurant, Magic Palace, Crouching Panda, Hidden Egg Roll, Bob's Big Buddha, Nighthawk Diner, Skip's Diner, Eatery or Brown House)
Colette ...and if you follow that advice, I think you'll be a happier person who attracts and keeps the kind of friends you truly deserve.
Homer I'm sorry. I was having trouble hearing you over the sound of these ramen noodles, which, by the way, are AMAZING!
Colette I was saying—
Homer Could you repeat that? And bring some more noodles? And some more beer?
Colette I was saying that Moe's Tavern is where you belong. Friendship is too important to give up on!
Homer I don't know... I did say "goodbye forever" and one day really isn't that close to forever.
Colette What bartender around here is going to order you an Uber from Barney's phone after you pass out?
Homer Ugh, you're right! Moe is my friend and the only bartender for me!
Homer You have to come with me when I talk to him. I can't face him on my own.
Colette But I'm working. I have six other tables I've been ignoring this whole time.
Comic Book Guy Hello?! Can anybody hear me? I ordered my ramen ages ago! Hello?!
Comic Book Guy I'm invisible. It's as if I've been banished into the Void by the Lords of the West! Is that why this place is called Ramen Coma?!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

The Long Way Homer Pt. 4[edit]

After completing The Long Way Homer Pt. 3:
Colette Homer, it's going to be fine. Just go on in.
Homer I can't! What if he's forgotten about me? Or laughs in my face for coming back?
Homer And what if he makes me pay my bar tab?!
Colette You and Moe are both mature adults, well not really...but you are adults. So if you're just honest about your feelings I'm sure everything will work out.
Homer OR...I can put on a disguise, sneak in, and listen to all the mean stuff he's probably saying about me!
Colette Where are you going to get a disguise at this time of night?
Homer I know a guy.
Narrator Several minutes later...
Tapped Out Llewellyn Sinclair Icon.png You want me, Cappie-nominated director, Llewellyn Sinclair, to open up the community theater so you can borrow a costume?
Homer Yes?
Tapped Out Llewellyn Sinclair Icon.png *shrugs* Okay, sure, why not.
Task: Collect Bottle Caps [x115]
Task: Make Homer Apply a Cunning Disguise (3h, Springfield Community Theater, Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, Convention Center or Homes)
Colette Homer, you won't blend in at all dressed like Robin Hood.
Homer I knew I should have worn that costume from Cats!
Colette A tail isn't much of a disguise.
Homer Look, I'm solid green. I'm basically camouflage. I'll blend right in. *walks into Moe's*
Lenny Hey, Carl. Get a load of the subject of two recent big budget action flops: "Robin Hood" with Russell Crowe, and "Robin Hood" with the guy who played Elton John.
Carl I think you're in the wrong place, fella. The renaissance faire's that way.
Moe Look new guy, there ain't no discounts on drinks for dressin' up in green spandex over here. Unless you're that green man who shows up to Phillies' games. Always wanted to meet that guy...
Homer They don't recognize me at all!
Moe What'd you say?
Homer I'll take two Duffs!
Moe That didn't sound at all like what you said previously, but sure thing, two Duffs coming up.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

The Long Way Homer Pt. 5[edit]

After completing The Long Way Homer Pt. 4:
Homer Pray tell, do any of you fine gentlemen know one Homer J. Simpson? I hear he's a famous patron of this establishment.
Moe Aw, he don't drink here no more.
Barney *sad burp*
Moe It was a whole thing, words were said that maybe shouldn't have been said, so he's dead to us.
Homer I...I see. Well, I'll just be on my way then...
Kirk So is this primo barstool now available for me to sit on?
Moe *pulls out shotgun* That's far enough. You let your keister touch that stool and you'll be eatin' through a straw for the rest of yer days.
Moe It belongs to a legend. The greatest barfly who ever lived in this garbage dump of a town. And the best pal a fella could ask for.
Moe Well, aside from all the times he wasn't such a great pal, but I choose to forget those times at this particular moment.
Homer Aww, Moe! Come here!
Moe Ahhh! This creepy guy in way-too-tight tights is trying to hug me. Get him off!
Task: Collect Bottle Caps [x200]
Task: Make Homer Dramatically Doff His Disguise (4h, Moe's Tavern, Hell Moe's, Beer -N- Brawl, Knockers, CBGB, Jazzy Goodtime's, Eatery or Brown House)
If the user has Moe: Task: Make Moe Be Startled by Homer's Ruse (4h, Moe's Tavern, Hell Moe's, Beer -N- Brawl, Knockers, CBGB, Jazzy Goodtime's, Eatery or Brown House)
If the user has Barney: Task: Make Barney Be Confused About What's Happening (4h, Moe's Tavern, Hell Moe's, Beer -N- Brawl, Knockers, CBGB, Jazzy Goodtime's, Eatery or Brown House)
Moe Homer! You came back! I can't tell ya how glad I am to see you.
Moe Look, I want to make things right with my pal. From now on, I'll split any drink-based invention with ya fifty-fifty, all right?
Homer It's good to be back! Now we can—
Marge Homer J. Simpson!
Homer Uh-oh. I guess you're mad I'm not at home?
Marge No, I'm glad you're finally where you're supposed to be! I've been to every bar in town looking for you.
Marge I went to "The Bamboo Bazaar", "The Tipsy Tetris", "Chain Fight Charlie's", "O'Darts", "O'Billiards", and even "The Pickled Beet"!
Marge At least before, I knew where you were when you were avoiding your family.
Homer Well, from now on you can always find me right here at Moe's.
Marge I'm so glad you two worked things out. Because those other bars were scary and weird. Especially "Chain Fight Charlie's". I really should have known from the title.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Homeward Bored[edit]

After completing The Long Way Homer Pt. 5:
Moe We're going to come up with the greatest drink since those toga-twirling ancient Greeks invented mead!
Homer Move out of the way, White Claw, Fireball, and spiked kombucha, because Homer and Moe are coming!
Moe We have no idea what we're doing, do we?
Homer Not a clue.
Moe What inspired you last time?
Homer Well, it all started when...
Moe Oh, you're just launching into a flashback. Ok.
Homer It all started when Marge's beastly sisters came over to show pictures from their latest lame-cation.
Homer As I stared up at picture after disgusting picture, I knew I needed a drink. But there was no beer left in the fridge!
Moe So what'd ya do?
Homer I decided to mix the little bits that were left in every liquor bottle.
Moe Wait, you totally did invent the Flaming Moe! It's all coming back to me now!
Homer I grabbed creme de menthe, Midori, root beer schnapps, and tequila and poured it all into a blender. But I accidentally poured in "Krusty's Non-Narkotik Kough Syrup for Kids".
Moe The secret ingredient...
Homer And then after Patty's cigarette lit the drink aflame, the rest was drunk history...
Moe So alls we need to do is combine the most random bits of alcohol and hope we accidentally pour in something super weird!
Homer Exactly!
Moe Then let's play some montage music and start dumping things into a giant cup.
Homer Whoa, that's a lot of absinthe you're pouring.
Moe Oh, don't worry, it's super watered down.
Task: Make Homer Create a New Drink With Moe (4h, Moe's Tavern, Hell Moe's, Beer -N- Brawl, Knockers, CBGB, Jazzy Goodtime's, Eatery or Brown House)
If the user has Moe: Task: Make Moe Create a New Drink With Homer (4h, Moe's Tavern, Hell Moe's, Beer -N- Brawl, Knockers, CBGB, Jazzy Goodtime's, Eatery or Brown House)
Moe Here it is, Mr. Bannister, the latest hit drink to take over Springfield and the world: The Fuming MoeMer!
Tapped Out Harv Bannister Icon.png What? This looks and smells terrible! Is that yellow gas bubbling out of it?
Homer No, it's not gas! It's fumes!
Moe Beautiful, beautiful fumes!
Tapped Out Harv Bannister Icon.png Yeah, that's a hard no! I can't even get this thing close enough to my face to try it.
Tapped Out Harv Bannister Icon.png I feel like I'm going to pass out...
Moe Come on, at least take a sip.
Tapped Out Harv Bannister Icon.png *sip* Well, that was the most disgusting drink I've ever tasted.
Homer Okay, got it, solid note...
Tapped Out Harv Bannister Icon.png Well, I guess Tipsy's is just gonna have to keep trotting out the same drinks it's always been serving.
Moe At least pay us for coming up with the name "The Fuming MoeMer". That alone will sell some drinks.
Tapped Out Harv Bannister Icon.png Oh yeah, "The Fuming MoeMer" — using that is a good idea!
Homer Woo-hoo! I'm famous and rich!
Tapped Out Harv Bannister Icon.png You guys didn't win the prize! Your drink sucked. But thanks for the name!
Homer D'oh!
Quest reward: Cash200 and XP20