Difference between revisions of "A Tale of Two Springfields/Quotes"

Revision as of 12:07, July 10, 2020

Bart: Come on, Lis', there's gotta be a way to lure that badger out.

Lisa: Well, according to 'whatbadgerseat.com', Badgers subsist primarily on a diet of stoats, voles, and marmots.

Bart: Hmm, stoats, stoats..

Lisa: Stoats are weasels, Bart. They don't come in cans.

Bart: Oh yeah, then what's this? [shows Lisa a corn can]

Lisa: That says corn, Bart.

Homer: I think we should call a doctor about this [lifts his shirt, revealing all his internal organs on the outside]

Lisa: How did the Badger do that without ripping your shirt!?

Homer: What am I, a tailor?

Homer: Area code!? But it's a local call.

Marge: The phone company ran out of numbers, so they split the city into two area codes. Half the town keeps the old 636 area code, and our half gets 939.

Homer: 939!!!?? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!? Oh my life is ruined.

Marge: Geez, you just have to remember three extra numbers.

Homer: Oh if only it were that easy Marge.

Kent Brockman: Scientists say they're also less attractive physically, and while we speak in a well-educated manner they tend to use lowbrow expressions like "Oh Yeah" and "C'mere a Minute".

Homer: Oh yeah? They think they're better than us? Bart, C'mere a minute!

Bart: You c'mere a minute!

Homer: Oh yeah?

Homer: But those Old Springfield squares are just going to make you cut your hair, turn down your music, and wear frilly shirts like Keith Partridge.

Roger: Keith Partridge? Who huddle.

[The band huddles to talk things over.]

John: We'll do it!

Bart: Yeah! [Homer and Bart high-five]

John: Just send the car for us.

Homer: What, something wrong with your legs?

Roger: You're right. The walk will do us good

Kent Brockman: The Who will be playing tonight at Springfield's historic Yahoo Search Engine Arena.

[Armed with a bottle of chloroform, Homer approaches a security guard.]

Homer: I'll give you this bottle of chloroform if you take us to The Who!

Homer: Badger my ass, it's probably Milhouse.

Krusty: I opened for The Who at Woodstock. I came out with a Beatle wig and a ukulele. Hendrix said he almost plotzed. His exact words.

Sideshow Mel: [sarcastically] I never tire of THAT story.

Moe: Enough chit-chat, let's see how you like flaming garbage!

Moe: Homer's right! We're gettin' the Joan Collins special!

Homer: I can't believe all those rats fled my town. Guess it's just us and the tumbleweed...