Difference between revisions of "Lisa's Wedding/Quotes"

Revision as of 06:36, December 23, 2018

Ned Flanders: 'Zounds, I did thee mightily smite-ly. "'Zounds" is a renaissance English word, short for "God's Wounds." But uh, "smite-ly," that's pure Flanders!

Lunchlady Doris: Yon meat 'tis sweet as summer's wafting breeze.

Homer: Can I have some?

Doris: Mine ears are open only to the pleas of those who speak ye old English.

Homer: Sweet maiden of the spit, grant now my boon, that I mightst sup on suckling pig this noon.

Doris: Whatever.

Hugh Parkfield: I can't believe how much we have in common. We're both studying the environment, we're both utterly humorless about our vegetarianism, and we both love the Rolling Stones.

Lisa: Yes, not for their music, but for their tireless efforts to preserve historic buildings.

Lisa: And I love that painting. Judging by the clothes, I'd say seventeenth century.

Mrs. Parkfield: Actually, Lisa, it's just uncle Eldred.

Uncle Eldred: I get me brain medicines from the National 'Ealth.

Marge: Homer, don't take this personally, but I've obtained a court order to prevent you from planning this wedding.

Smithers: Oh, Mr. Burns, we'll thaw you out the second they discover the cure for seventeen stab wounds in the back. How're we doing, boys?

Professor Frink: Well, we're up to fifteen!

Hugh: Lisa, darling, don't worry. I'm sure I'll get along with your family. You've so thoroughly prepared me for the worst, as long as they're not squatting in a ditch poking berries up their noses...

Lisa: And if they are?

Homer: You can be the first to try out the new guest bedroom I built. Remember, if the building inspector comes by, it's not a room, it's a window box.

Homer: So, Hugh. Have you heard all the latest American jokes? Uh, here's a good one. Pull my finger.

Hugh: Yes, we have that one in England too, Mr. Simpson.

Homer: I said, pull my finger.

Marge: You know, Fox turned into a hard-core sex channel so gradually, I didn't even notice.

Lisa: I'm sorry I left you alone with Homer and Bart.

Hugh: No, no, honey. We had a fine time.

Lisa: How did you get that gash on your forehead?

Hugh: Oh, that was when we hid in the dumpster after the fire alarm went off in the pornographic magazine warehouse.

Bart: Wow, Lisa. Looking at you makes me want to get married for a third time. I met a really nice exotic dancer the other night at Hugh's bachelor party.

Lisa: Hugh didn't have a bachelor party.

Bart: We had one in his honor. I had one in his honor. I went to a strip club.

Homer: Lisa, Lisa! Where were you!? You missed the most incredible thing!

Lisa: Hi, Dad.

Homer: I ate seven pounds of fudge!

Lisa: Wow!

Homer: The man at the stand said it was a record!

Lisa: Wow. What else did you do, Dad?

Homer: I rode the teacups! Then I got a little sick and I had to sit down. But then I rode 'em again!