Difference between revisions of "Dogtown/Quotes"

Revision as of 21:27, May 23, 2017

Blue-haired lawyer: Your Honor, my client had just turned his life around. His daughter recently bought a washing machine and promised him the box to live in.

Bart: Do you think they'll send Dad away forever?

Marge: Oh, no, sweetie. They just want all our money.

Kent Brockman: It's now official: a Springfield jury has decided that the life of this greyhound is more valuable than the life of this Greyhound station inhabitant.

Bart: [Sad] Santa's Little Helper didn't come home last night.

Homer: If you were a dog these days, would you come home? It's like doggy heaven out there, only real.

Bart: Doggy heaven isn't real?

Homer: No! No, it's real! The dogs all have harps and wings.

Bart: How do they play harps if they don't have fingers?

Homer: Um... dogs have fingers in heaven.

Bart: How do you know so much about dog heaven?

Homer: [as an excuse] I died for five minutes and was sent there by mistake. Now leave me alone.

Marge: Gil? Why are you helping these people who think so little of you?

Gil: That's why I'm doin' it! To show everyone I'm not the town failure.

Barney: I thought I was the town failure!

Moe: You're not even that!

Barney: Aw!