Difference between revisions of "$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)/Quotes"
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo |The Last Temptation of Homer|Homer the Vigilante}} | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo |The Last Temptation of Homer|Homer the Vigilante}} | ||
− | + | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining sides. | |
− | + | {{qf|Man}} That's a right triangle, you idiot. | |
− | + | {{qf|Homer}} D'oh! | |
− | + | ---- | |
− | + | {{qf|[[Waylon Smithers, Jr.]]}} Sir, bad news from accounting. The economy's hit us pretty hard. | |
− | + | {{qf|[[Charles Montgomery Burns]]}} Hey, tough times, eh? I've lived through twelve recessions, eight panics, and five years of McKinley-nomics. I'll survive this! | |
+ | ---- | ||
+ | {{qf|[[Mayor Quimby]]}} I propose that I use what's left of the town treasury to move to a more prosperous town and run for mayor. And uh, once elected, I will send for the rest of you. | ||
+ | {{qf|Crowd}} Boo! | ||
+ | ---- | ||
+ | {{qf|[[Horatio McCallister]]}} I'll need three ships and fifty stout men! We'll sail 'round The Horn and return with spices and silk, the likes of which ye have never seen! | ||
+ | {{qf|Mr. Burns}} We're building a casino. | ||
+ | {{qf|Captain McCallister}} Arr. Can ye give me five minutes? | ||
+ | ---- | ||
+ | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Mom, we're having a geography pageant at school, and I don't know which state to go as. | ||
+ | {{qf|[[Marge]]}} In honor of legalized gambling, why not go as the state of [[Nevada]]? | ||
+ | {{qf|Lisa}} No. Nevada makes my butt look big. | ||
+ | ---- | ||
+ | {{qf|Homer}} Twenty- one? Do that card-counting thing again! Come on. Do it again. | ||
+ | {{qf|[[Raymond Babbitt]]}} Definitely have to leave the table. | ||
+ | {{qf|Homer}} No! Please, please, please, please, please... | ||
+ | {{qf|Raymond Babbitt}} Gotta watch Wapner. Leave the table. Yeah, leave the table. | ||
+ | ---- | ||
+ | {{qf|Audience member}} Well, you're the worst comedian we've ever seen! | ||
+ | {{qf|[[Krusty the Clown]]}} Oh, great. Well we'll just sit here silently for the next ninety minutes. | ||
+ | {{qf|Audience member}} Fine with us. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | {{qf|Homer}} Marge, we need to talk. You're spending too much time at the casino, and I think you may have a problem... | |
− | + | {{qf|Marge}} I won sixty dollars last night. | |
− | + | {{qf|Homer}} Woo hoo! Problem solved! | |
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | {{qf|Mr. Burns}} Smithers, I've designed a new plane. I call it the Spruce Moose, and it will carry two hundred passengers from New York's Idlewild Airport to the Belgian Congo in seventeen minutes. | |
− | + | {{qf|Smithers}} That's quite a nice model, sir. | |
− | + | {{qf|Mr. Burns}} Model? | |
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | {{qf|Homer}} Huh? Wuh? Lisa? What's up? | |
− | + | {{qf|Lisa}} I just had a bad dream. | |
− | + | {{qf|Homer}} Aw, sure... you just lie down and tell me all about it. | |
− | + | {{qf|Lisa}} Well, I know it's absurd, but I dreamed the Boogeyman was after me and he's hiding... | |
+ | {{qf|Homer}} ''[screams]'' Boogeyman?! You nail the windows shut! I'll get the gun! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | {{qf|{{Ch|Robert Goulet}}}} Are you sure this is the casino? I think I should call my manager. | |
− | + | {{qf|[[Nelson Muntz]]}} Your manager says for you to shut up! | |
− | + | {{qf|Robert Goulet}} ''[surprised]'' Vera said that? | |
− | |||
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | {{qf|Lisa}} I'm not a state, I'm a monster! | |
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---- | ---- | ||
− | + | {{qf|Homer}} You promised Lisa to help her with her costume. You made her cry, then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper. | |
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---- | ---- | ||
− | + | {{qf|Homer}} Marge, I want you to admit you have a gambling problem. | |
− | + | {{qf|Marge}} You know, you're right, Homer. Maybe I should get some professional help. | |
− | + | {{qf|Homer}} No no, that's too expensive. Just don't do it anymore. | |
− | |||
{{Season 5|Q}} | {{Season 5|Q}} | ||
+ | {{DEFAULTSORT:Springfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)/Quotes}} |
Latest revision as of 10:44, June 24, 2023
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- Homer: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining sides.
- Man: That's a right triangle, you idiot.
- Homer: D'oh!
- Waylon Smithers, Jr.: Sir, bad news from accounting. The economy's hit us pretty hard.
- Charles Montgomery Burns: Hey, tough times, eh? I've lived through twelve recessions, eight panics, and five years of McKinley-nomics. I'll survive this!
- Mayor Quimby: I propose that I use what's left of the town treasury to move to a more prosperous town and run for mayor. And uh, once elected, I will send for the rest of you.
- Crowd: Boo!
- Horatio McCallister: I'll need three ships and fifty stout men! We'll sail 'round The Horn and return with spices and silk, the likes of which ye have never seen!
- Mr. Burns: We're building a casino.
- Captain McCallister: Arr. Can ye give me five minutes?
- Lisa: Mom, we're having a geography pageant at school, and I don't know which state to go as.
- Marge: In honor of legalized gambling, why not go as the state of Nevada?
- Lisa: No. Nevada makes my butt look big.
- Homer: Twenty- one? Do that card-counting thing again! Come on. Do it again.
- Raymond Babbitt: Definitely have to leave the table.
- Homer: No! Please, please, please, please, please...
- Raymond Babbitt: Gotta watch Wapner. Leave the table. Yeah, leave the table.
- Audience member: Well, you're the worst comedian we've ever seen!
- Krusty the Clown: Oh, great. Well we'll just sit here silently for the next ninety minutes.
- Audience member: Fine with us.
- Homer: Marge, we need to talk. You're spending too much time at the casino, and I think you may have a problem...
- Marge: I won sixty dollars last night.
- Homer: Woo hoo! Problem solved!
- Mr. Burns: Smithers, I've designed a new plane. I call it the Spruce Moose, and it will carry two hundred passengers from New York's Idlewild Airport to the Belgian Congo in seventeen minutes.
- Smithers: That's quite a nice model, sir.
- Mr. Burns: Model?
- Homer: Huh? Wuh? Lisa? What's up?
- Lisa: I just had a bad dream.
- Homer: Aw, sure... you just lie down and tell me all about it.
- Lisa: Well, I know it's absurd, but I dreamed the Boogeyman was after me and he's hiding...
- Homer: [screams] Boogeyman?! You nail the windows shut! I'll get the gun!
- Robert Goulet: Are you sure this is the casino? I think I should call my manager.
- Nelson Muntz: Your manager says for you to shut up!
- Robert Goulet: [surprised] Vera said that?
- Lisa: I'm not a state, I'm a monster!
- Homer: You promised Lisa to help her with her costume. You made her cry, then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper.
- Homer: Marge, I want you to admit you have a gambling problem.
- Marge: You know, you're right, Homer. Maybe I should get some professional help.
- Homer: No no, that's too expensive. Just don't do it anymore.