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Difference between revisions of "Brawl in the Family/Quotes"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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{{TabQ}}
 
{{TabQ}}
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|She of Little Faith|Sweets and Sour Marge}}
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|She of Little Faith|Sweets and Sour Marge}}
:'''[[Homer]]''': A grizzly bear with a chainsaw. Now, there's a killing machine!
+
 
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} A grizzly bear with a chainsaw. Now, there's a killing machine!
 
----
 
----
:'''Homer''': I'm gonna come back with the greatest gift a husband can give his wife. An annulment from his secret wife!
+
{{qf|Homer}} I'm gonna come back with the greatest gift a husband can give his wife. An annulment from his secret wife!
 
----
 
----
:'''[[Marge]]''': We don't need TV to have family fun. Why don't we play [[Monopoly]]?
+
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} We don't need TV to have family fun. Why don't we play [[Monopoly]]?
:'''[[Lisa]]''': Which version? [pulls board games from the closet] We've got "[[Star Wars Monopoly]]",
+
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Which version? ''[pulls board games from the closet]'' We've got "[[Star Wars Monopoly]]", "Rasta-mon opoly", "Galipolopoly", "[[Edna Krabappoly]]."
:"[[Rasta-mon opoly]]", "[[Galipolopoly]]", "[[Edna Krabappoly]]."
+
{{qf|Marge}} Let's stick to regular Monopoly. The game is crazy enough as it is; how can an iron be a landlord?
:'''Marge''': Let's stick to regular Monopoly. The game is crazy enough as it is; how can an iron be a landlord?
 
 
----
 
----
:[While the family is playing Monopoly]
+
:''[While the family is playing Monopoly.]''
:'''[[Bart]]''': [holding some money Homer has given him] You're a little light here, Dad.
+
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} ''[holding some money Homer has given him]'' You're a little light here, Dad.
:'''Homer''':I'm good for the rest… you know I am!
+
{{qf|Homer}} I'm good for the rest... you know I am!
:'''Bart''': Well, I'd like to trust you, Homer, but you've been in jail 3 times.
+
{{qf|Bart}} Well, I'd like to trust you, Homer, but you've been in jail 3 times.
:'''Homer''':They told me it would be like this on the outside.
+
{{qf|Homer}} They told me it would be like this on the outside.
:'''[[Lisa]]''': [picks up one of Bart's "hotels"] These hotels are made of Legos. Bart, you're cheating!
+
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[picks up one of Bart's "hotels"]'' These hotels are made of Legos. Bart, you're cheating!
:'''Marge''': Lisa, it was probably an accident.
+
{{qf|Marge}} Lisa, it was probably an accident.
:'''Lisa''': Oh, sure, you take his side, just because he bought you that house on St. James Place.
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Oh, sure, you take his side, just because he bought you that house on St. James Place.
:'''Bart''': Who else is going to take care of her? Dad?
+
{{qf|Bart}} Who else is going to take care of her? Dad?
:'''Homer''': Why, you little ... [throttles Bart]
+
{{qf|Homer}} Why, you little... ''[throttles Bart]''
:'''Marge''': Stop fighting! [throttles Homer]
+
{{qf|Marge}} Stop fighting! ''[throttles Homer]''
:'''Lisa''': Mom, that's not how you pry them apart! [grabs Bart's arm and tries to pull him away from Homer]
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Mom, that's not how you pry them apart! ''[grabs Bart's arm and tries to pull him away from Homer]''
:'''Marge''': I've been prying them apart since before you were born!
+
{{qf|Marge}} I've been prying them apart since before you were born!
 
----
 
----
:'''[[Brenda the Police Robot]]''': I am Brenda. I am programmed to talk in a calm and constructive manner. [yells] DESTROY! DESTROY!
+
{{qf|[[Brenda]]}} I am Brenda. I am programmed to talk in a calm and constructive manner. ''[yells]'' DESTROY! DESTROY!
 
----
 
----
:'''[[Lou]]''': Another case of Monopoly-related violence, Chief.
+
{{qf|[[Lou]]}} Another case of Monopoly-related violence, Chief.
:'''[[Chief Wiggum]]''': How do those Parker Brothers sleep at night?
+
{{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} How do those Parker Brothers sleep at night?
 
----
 
----
:'''Chief Wiggum''': Nice work, Brenda. I'll take it from here.
+
{{qf|Chief Wiggum}} Nice work, Brenda. I'll take it from here.
:'''Brenda the Police Robot''': No way! This is my collar! [Chief Wiggum switches off Brenda's power switch and she shuts down]
+
{{qf|Brenda}} No way! This is my collar! ''[Chief Wiggum switches off Brenda's power switch and she shuts down]''
:'''Chief Wiggum''': Too bad real women don't come with these, huh? [laughs]
+
{{qf|Chief Wiggum}} Too bad real women don't come with these, huh? ''[laughs]''
:'''Homer''': [laughs] You got that right.
+
{{qf|Homer}} ''[laughs]'' You got that right.
:'''Chief Wiggum''': Quiet, you. That counts as your phone call.
+
{{qf|Chief Wiggum}} Quiet, you. That counts as your phone call.
 
----
 
----
:[When the Simpsons are in jail]
+
:''[When the Simpsons are in jail.]''
:'''Lisa''': Thanks a lot, everybody. Now, I'll never get into an Ivy League school.
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Thanks a lot, everybody. Now, I'll never get into an Ivy League school.
:'''Bart''': [taunting] You're going to Stanford, you're going to Stanford ...
+
{{qf|Bart}} ''[taunting]'' You're going to Stanford, you're going to Stanford ...
:'''Homer and Bart''' [taunting]: You're going to Stanford!
+
{{qf|Homer and Bart}} ''[taunting]'' You're going to Stanford!
:'''Lisa''': Take it back! Take it back!
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Take it back! Take it back!
:'''Homer''': Stanford.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Stanford.
 
----
 
----
:'''[[Gabriel]]''': Hello, I'm Gabriel.
+
{{qf|[[Gabriel]]}} Hello, I'm Gabriel.
:'''Homer''': [gasps] A heavenly choir! You must be an angel.
+
{{qf|Homer}} ''[gasps]'' A heavenly choir! You must be an angel.
:'''Gabriel''': [laughs] No, that's my pager. [turns his pager off] I'm a social worker. I'm here to help you stop fighting and become a family again.
+
{{qf|Gabriel}} ''[laughs]'' No, that's my pager. ''[turns his pager off]'' I'm a social worker. I'm here to help you stop fighting and become a family again.
:'''Homer''': No, you are an angel, like Denzel Washington in "The Preacher's Wife," or Will Smith in "Bagger Vance," or Slimer in "Ghostbusters."
+
{{qf|Homer}} No, you are an angel, like {{W|Denzel Washington}} in "{{W|The Preacher's Wife}}", or [[Will Smith]] in "{{W|Bagger Vance}}", or {{W|Slimer}} in "[[Ghostbusters]]".
:'''Marge''': Sir, we know you're not an angel. My husband sees too many movies.
+
{{qf|Marge}} Sir, we know you're not an angel. My husband sees too many movies.
:'''Homer''': Don't blame me, blame Tinseltown and its second golden age. May it never end.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Don't blame me, blame Tinseltown and its second golden age. May it never end.
 
----
 
----
:[Bart brings Gabriel to school]
+
:''[Bart brings Gabriel to school.]''
:'''Bart '''[to the kids at school]: Attention, everyone! This is Gabriel, my personal social worker. He has to be here. I'm just that nuts. [the kids are impressed]
+
{{qf|Bart}} ''[to the kids at school]'' Attention, everyone! This is Gabriel, my personal social worker. He has to be here. I'm just that nuts. ''[the kids are impressed]''
:'''[[Milhouse]]''': How come you get a social worker? I'm the one with stigmata. [holds up his bloody hands]
+
{{qf|[[Milhouse]]}} How come you get a social worker? I'm the one with stigmata. ''[holds up his bloody hands]''
 
----
 
----
:'''Marge''': Food keeps my family happy, so I make a few practice dinners before showtime, ‘cause at 6 o'clock, we go live!
+
{{qf|Marge}} Food keeps my family happy, so I make a few practice dinners before showtime, 'cause at 6 o'clock, we go live!
 
----
 
----
:[When Homer brings Gabriel to Moe’s]
+
:''[When Homer brings Gabriel to [[Moe's]].]''
:'''Homer''': Okay, Gabriel, this is a bar. It's where I go to drink alcohol, which is the mortal equivalent of your ambrosia.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Okay, Gabriel, this is a bar. It's where I go to drink alcohol, which is the mortal equivalent of your ambrosia.
:'''Gabriel''': Homer, I am not an angel.
+
{{qf|Gabriel}} Homer, I am not an angel.
:'''Homer''': Pfft. Well, not with that temper.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Pfft. Well, not with that temper.
 
----
 
----
:[Gabriel takes the Simpsons’ to the rules]
+
:''[Gabriel takes the Simpsons' to the rules.]''
:'''Homer''': Okay, why are we in the woods? Is this Heaven?
+
{{qf|Homer}} Okay, why are we in the woods? Is this Heaven?
:'''Gabriel''': No, Homer. I brought you out here to shake off your negative behavior patterns. Marge, you medicate your family with food. Bart, you'll do anything for attention …cut that out!
+
{{qf|Gabriel}} No, Homer. I brought you out here to shake off your negative behavior patterns. Marge, you medicate your family with food. Bart, you'll do anything for attention ...cut that out!
:'''Bart''' [with a beard of bees]: They chose me.
+
{{qf|Bart}} ''[with a beard of bees]'' They chose me.
 
----
 
----
:'''Homer''': Okay, family huddle. [everyone huddles together and Homer lowers his voice to a whisper] Now, here's how it's going down. As a family, we drive away. We cover for each other, as a family. It's what Gabriel would have wanted.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Okay, family huddle. ''[everyone huddles together and Homer lowers his voice to a whisper]'' Now, here's how it's going down. As a family, we drive away. We cover for each other, as a family. It's what Gabriel would have wanted.
:'''Lisa''': Look, we can't fall into old patterns. We've got to think of a plan.
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Look, we can't fall into old patterns. We've got to think of a plan.
:'''Homer '''[in a whisper] Okay, but talk like this.
+
{{qf|Homer}} ''[in a whisper]'' Okay, but talk like this.
:'''Lisa''': [in a whisper] Fine, I'll talk like this.
+
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[in a whisper]'' Fine, I'll talk like this.
:'''Homer''': [in his normal voice] What?
+
{{qf|Homer}} ''[in his normal voice]'' What?
 
----
 
----
:'''Marge''': You know, we've been through some 280 adventures together, but our bond has never been stronger.
+
{{qf|Marge}} You know, we've been through some 280 adventures together, but our bond has never been stronger.
:'''Homer''': Yep, our family is as functional as all get-out.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Yep, our family is as functional as all get-out.
:'''Lisa''': Could this be the end of our series ... of events?
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Could this be the end of our series... of events?
 
----
 
----
:'''Homer''': But Marge, it wasn't my fault... liquors drunkened me!
+
{{qf|Homer}} But Marge, it wasn't my fault... liquors drunkened me!
 
----
 
----
:'''[[Amber Simpson|Amber]]''' [to Lisa]: I could show you how to put on makeup.
+
{{qf|[[Amber Simpson|Amber]]}} ''[to Lisa]'' I could show you how to put on makeup.
:'''Lisa''': I'm 8 years old.
+
{{qf|Lisa}} I'm 8 years old.
:'''Amber''': You could look 7. [to Bart] And I can teach you how to count cards.
+
{{qf|Amber}} You could look 7. ''[to Bart]'' And I can teach you how to count cards.
:'''Bart''': I already have a system.
+
{{qf|Bart}} I already have a system.
 
----
 
----
:'''Homer''': (wakes up) Aah, the sweet couple of seconds before I remember why I'm sleeping on the lawn.
+
{{qf|Homer}} ''[wakes up]'' Aah, the sweet couple of seconds before I remember why I'm sleeping on the lawn.
 
----
 
----
:'''[[Judge Harm]]''': Mr. Simpson, under Nevada law, bigamy, or "Mormon hold-'em," is perfectly legal. [bangs gavel] Both marriages stand.
+
{{qf|[[Judge Harm]]}} Mr. Simpson, under Nevada law, bigamy, or "Mormon hold-'em," is perfectly legal. ''[bangs gavel]'' Both marriages stand.
:'''Homer''': But I only love Marge!
+
{{qf|Homer}} But I only love Marge!
:'''Judge Harm''': I hereby order you to take care of both of your wives. Bailiff, ring him. [a bailiff puts a second wedding ring onto Homer's finger]
+
{{qf|Judge Harm}} I hereby order you to take care of both of your wives. Bailiff, ring him. ''[a bailiff puts a second wedding ring onto Homer's finger]''
 
----
 
----
:'''Marge''': Homer?
+
{{qf|Marge}} Homer?
:'''Homer''': Marge? You're speaking to me!?
+
{{qf|Homer}} Marge? You're speaking to me!?
:'''Marge''': Why don't you come inside and we'll talk?
+
{{qf|Marge}} Why don't you come inside and we'll talk?
:'''Homer''': About what? Sports? Bigamy?
+
{{qf|Homer}} About what? Sports? Bigamy?
:'''Marge''': Bigamy.
+
{{qf|Marge}} Bigamy.
:'''Homer''': Not a sports fan, huh?
+
{{qf|Homer}} Not a sports fan, huh?
----
 
:'''[[Grampa]]''': Oh, I lost another wife.
 
:'''Lisa''': I'm sorry, Grampa.
 
:'''Grampa''': Well, it hurts now, but the senility will take care of that. There she goes. (to Homer) You know, I have a son about your age.
 
 
----
 
----
 +
{{qf|[[Grampa]]}} Oh, I lost another wife.
 +
{{qf|Lisa}} I'm sorry, Grampa.
 +
{{qf|Grampa}} Well, it hurts now, but the senility will take care of that. There she goes. ''[to Homer]'' You know, I have a son about your age.
 +
 
{{Season 13|Q}}
 
{{Season 13|Q}}

Latest revision as of 17:21, October 15, 2021


Season 13 Episode Quotes
275 "She of Little Faith"
276
"Brawl in the Family"
"Sweets and Sour Marge" 277


Homer: A grizzly bear with a chainsaw. Now, there's a killing machine!

Homer: I'm gonna come back with the greatest gift a husband can give his wife. An annulment from his secret wife!

Marge: We don't need TV to have family fun. Why don't we play Monopoly?
Lisa: Which version? [pulls board games from the closet] We've got "Star Wars Monopoly", "Rasta-mon opoly", "Galipolopoly", "Edna Krabappoly."
Marge: Let's stick to regular Monopoly. The game is crazy enough as it is; how can an iron be a landlord?

[While the family is playing Monopoly.]
Bart: [holding some money Homer has given him] You're a little light here, Dad.
Homer: I'm good for the rest... you know I am!
Bart: Well, I'd like to trust you, Homer, but you've been in jail 3 times.
Homer: They told me it would be like this on the outside.
Lisa: [picks up one of Bart's "hotels"] These hotels are made of Legos. Bart, you're cheating!
Marge: Lisa, it was probably an accident.
Lisa: Oh, sure, you take his side, just because he bought you that house on St. James Place.
Bart: Who else is going to take care of her? Dad?
Homer: Why, you little... [throttles Bart]
Marge: Stop fighting! [throttles Homer]
Lisa: Mom, that's not how you pry them apart! [grabs Bart's arm and tries to pull him away from Homer]
Marge: I've been prying them apart since before you were born!

Brenda: I am Brenda. I am programmed to talk in a calm and constructive manner. [yells] DESTROY! DESTROY!

Lou: Another case of Monopoly-related violence, Chief.
Chief Wiggum: How do those Parker Brothers sleep at night?

Chief Wiggum: Nice work, Brenda. I'll take it from here.
Brenda: No way! This is my collar! [Chief Wiggum switches off Brenda's power switch and she shuts down]
Chief Wiggum: Too bad real women don't come with these, huh? [laughs]
Homer: [laughs] You got that right.
Chief Wiggum: Quiet, you. That counts as your phone call.

[When the Simpsons are in jail.]
Lisa: Thanks a lot, everybody. Now, I'll never get into an Ivy League school.
Bart: [taunting] You're going to Stanford, you're going to Stanford ...
Homer and Bart: [taunting] You're going to Stanford!
Lisa: Take it back! Take it back!
Homer: Stanford.

Gabriel: Hello, I'm Gabriel.
Homer: [gasps] A heavenly choir! You must be an angel.
Gabriel: [laughs] No, that's my pager. [turns his pager off] I'm a social worker. I'm here to help you stop fighting and become a family again.
Homer: No, you are an angel, like Denzel Washington in "The Preacher's Wife", or Will Smith in "Bagger Vance", or Slimer in "Ghostbusters".
Marge: Sir, we know you're not an angel. My husband sees too many movies.
Homer: Don't blame me, blame Tinseltown and its second golden age. May it never end.

[Bart brings Gabriel to school.]
Bart: [to the kids at school] Attention, everyone! This is Gabriel, my personal social worker. He has to be here. I'm just that nuts. [the kids are impressed]
Milhouse: How come you get a social worker? I'm the one with stigmata. [holds up his bloody hands]

Marge: Food keeps my family happy, so I make a few practice dinners before showtime, 'cause at 6 o'clock, we go live!

[When Homer brings Gabriel to Moe's.]
Homer: Okay, Gabriel, this is a bar. It's where I go to drink alcohol, which is the mortal equivalent of your ambrosia.
Gabriel: Homer, I am not an angel.
Homer: Pfft. Well, not with that temper.

[Gabriel takes the Simpsons' to the rules.]
Homer: Okay, why are we in the woods? Is this Heaven?
Gabriel: No, Homer. I brought you out here to shake off your negative behavior patterns. Marge, you medicate your family with food. Bart, you'll do anything for attention ...cut that out!
Bart: [with a beard of bees] They chose me.

Homer: Okay, family huddle. [everyone huddles together and Homer lowers his voice to a whisper] Now, here's how it's going down. As a family, we drive away. We cover for each other, as a family. It's what Gabriel would have wanted.
Lisa: Look, we can't fall into old patterns. We've got to think of a plan.
Homer: [in a whisper] Okay, but talk like this.
Lisa: [in a whisper] Fine, I'll talk like this.
Homer: [in his normal voice] What?

Marge: You know, we've been through some 280 adventures together, but our bond has never been stronger.
Homer: Yep, our family is as functional as all get-out.
Lisa: Could this be the end of our series... of events?

Homer: But Marge, it wasn't my fault... liquors drunkened me!

Amber: [to Lisa] I could show you how to put on makeup.
Lisa: I'm 8 years old.
Amber: You could look 7. [to Bart] And I can teach you how to count cards.
Bart: I already have a system.

Homer: [wakes up] Aah, the sweet couple of seconds before I remember why I'm sleeping on the lawn.

Judge Harm: Mr. Simpson, under Nevada law, bigamy, or "Mormon hold-'em," is perfectly legal. [bangs gavel] Both marriages stand.
Homer: But I only love Marge!
Judge Harm: I hereby order you to take care of both of your wives. Bailiff, ring him. [a bailiff puts a second wedding ring onto Homer's finger]

Marge: Homer?
Homer: Marge? You're speaking to me!?
Marge: Why don't you come inside and we'll talk?
Homer: About what? Sports? Bigamy?
Marge: Bigamy.
Homer: Not a sports fan, huh?

Grampa: Oh, I lost another wife.
Lisa: I'm sorry, Grampa.
Grampa: Well, it hurts now, but the senility will take care of that. There she goes. [to Homer] You know, I have a son about your age.
Season 13 Quotes
Treehouse of Horror XII The Parent Rap Homer the Moe A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love The Blunder Years She of Little Faith Brawl in the Family Sweets and Sour Marge Jaws Wired Shut Half-Decent Proposal The Bart Wants What It Wants The Lastest Gun in the West The Old Man and the Key Tales from the Public Domain Blame It on Lisa Weekend at Burnsie's Gump Roast I Am Furious (Yellow) The Sweetest Apu Little Girl in the Big Ten The Frying Game Poppa's Got a Brand New Badge