Difference between revisions of "That '90s Show/Quotes"
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| + | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|E Pluribus Wiggum|Love, Springfieldian Style|season=19|number=411}} | ||
| − | '''Lisa | + | {{qf|[[Marge]]}} We wouldn't be in this trouble if you'd just paid the heating bill! |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} I thought global warming would take care of it. [[Al Gore]] can't do anything right. | |
| − | + | ---- | |
| + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Mom, I didn't know you went to college! | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Bart]]}} Yeah, you always said that after high school, Dad "blessed you with the unplanned miracle of me." | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} Hey, parents are allowed to keep some secrets. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Like which kid's their favorite! ''[whispering loudly]'' It's Lisa. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} The nineties? Never heard of it. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Oh, it was a wonderful time. The Iraq war was over once and for all, a struggling {{Ch|Matt Groening}} created "[[Futurama]]," and young people believed in their dreams, thanks to a TV show called "{{W|Melrose Place}}"... | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Young Marge}} ''[groans]'' I'm afraid it's Top Ramen again. | ||
| + | {{qf|Young Homer}} With you, baby, Top Ramen tastes like Cup O' Noodles. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Young Homer}} You know these IKEA foam futons do Velcro together. | ||
| + | {{qf|Young Marge}} I'm sorry, I'm not ready to do that yet. I want to wait until I'm married, or at least really drunk. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Young Homer}} You applied to college? Why didn't you tell me? | ||
| + | {{qf|Young Marge}} I did tell you. | ||
| + | {{qf|Young Homer}} I thought you were telling me you wanted to apply yourself to making a collage. And as I recall, I was against it. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Young Grampa}} Well, well, well, look who's come crawling back to work for your old man. What do you need the money for? ''[sneering]'' Medicine? | ||
| + | {{qf|Young Homer}} None of your business. Now give me a job at your business. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | {{qf|Young [[Comic Book Guy]]}} And that is why the ''[[The Lord of the Rings|Lord of the Rings]]'' can never be filmed. |
| − | |||
| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Young Marge}} Did you know that every U.S. president has been a straight white man? | |
| + | {{qf|Young Homer}} Even [[Walt Disney]]? | ||
| + | {{qf|Young Marge}} And did you also know that history is written by the winners? | ||
| + | {{qf|Young Homer}} Really? I thought it was written by losers | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Young Marge}} Professor, do you think white male scientists have marginalized the contributions of the third world? | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Steffan August]]}} Great question. And the answer is "of course." Could a tribe of bushmen have invented penicillin? Maybe they already have. But no one asked them. No one asked them. | |
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|College kid}} Stupid townie! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Young Homer}} Hey, it's townies like me that cook your food and clean your bathrooms! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Dean}} If you did the former better we'd use the latter less. ''[Homer runs off crying]'' That's it, townie! Run! Run back to your town! | |
| − | |||
| − | '''Homer''' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Young Homer}} Okay, I'll keep the L.P.s and you take the C.D.s. I'll take the typewriter, you take the computer. I'll take the {{W|Enron}} stock, you take the {{W|Microsoft}} stock. And um... | |
| − | |||
| − | ' | ||
| − | |||
| − | ' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | {{qf|Young Marge}} Have you really read all these books? |
| + | {{qf|Steffan August}} Morally, I couldn't display them on shelves if I hadn't. But I watch sports as well, just like a regular man. ''[turns on the football game]'' Good Goddess! The "Patriots" are deep in "Redskin" territory. This isn't entertainment, it's genocide. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Steffan August}} Marge, may I compliment your appearance? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Young Marge}} Yeah, sure. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Steffan}} You look lovely. If I were to approach you for a kiss, would you construe that as harassment or give your willing consent? | |
| + | {{qf|Young Marge}} Consent, of course. | ||
| + | {{qf|Steffan}} Ah. Continuing in that line of thought, may I kiss your mouth with my mouth? | ||
| + | {{qf|Young Marge}} Just do it already! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} I had finally realized every rock star's dream... hating being famous. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Young Homer}} He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life. | |
| − | |||
| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Steffan}} Look at that lighthouse. That's the ultimate expression of phallo-centric technocracy, violating mother sky. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Young Marge}} I thought they were just tall so boats could see them. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Steffan}} No, Marge. Everything penis-shaped is bad. | |
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| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
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| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Young Marge}} Oh my God, you're a junkie! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Young Homer}} I need it... | |
| − | ' | + | {{qf|Young Marge}} I'm getting you off this stuff. |
| − | + | {{qf|Young Homer}} But I need it... | |
| − | ' | + | {{qf|Young Marge}} No you don't! |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} Unfortunately, as I later learned, that wasn't heroin. It was insulin. Homer really did need those injections. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} I had become diabetic from drinking too many Frappuccinos. | |
| − | |||
| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{ | + | {{qf|Young Homer}} Of course. The thing that stood between us - the nineties - is almost over. |
| + | {{qf|Young Marge}} You're right. But I'm worried about what's on the horizon: reality shows, {{Ch|Britney Spears}}, the suspicious number of home runs being hit. | ||
| + | {{qf|Young Homer}} At least we know there'll never be a president worse than [[Bill Clinton]]. Imagine, lying in a deposition in a civil lawsuit. That's the worst sin a president could commit. | ||
| + | {{qf|Young Marge}} There'll never be a worse president. Never. | ||
| + | {{qf|Young Homer}} Never. | ||
| − | + | {{Season 19|Q}} | |
| − | |||
Latest revision as of 08:21, February 26, 2022
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- Marge: We wouldn't be in this trouble if you'd just paid the heating bill!
- Homer: I thought global warming would take care of it. Al Gore can't do anything right.
- Lisa: Mom, I didn't know you went to college!
- Bart: Yeah, you always said that after high school, Dad "blessed you with the unplanned miracle of me."
- Marge: Hey, parents are allowed to keep some secrets.
- Homer: Like which kid's their favorite! [whispering loudly] It's Lisa.
- Bart: The nineties? Never heard of it.
- Homer: Oh, it was a wonderful time. The Iraq war was over once and for all, a struggling Matt Groening created "Futurama," and young people believed in their dreams, thanks to a TV show called "Melrose Place"...
- Young Marge: [groans] I'm afraid it's Top Ramen again.
- Young Homer: With you, baby, Top Ramen tastes like Cup O' Noodles.
- Young Homer: You know these IKEA foam futons do Velcro together.
- Young Marge: I'm sorry, I'm not ready to do that yet. I want to wait until I'm married, or at least really drunk.
- Young Homer: You applied to college? Why didn't you tell me?
- Young Marge: I did tell you.
- Young Homer: I thought you were telling me you wanted to apply yourself to making a collage. And as I recall, I was against it.
- Young Grampa: Well, well, well, look who's come crawling back to work for your old man. What do you need the money for? [sneering] Medicine?
- Young Homer: None of your business. Now give me a job at your business.
- Young Comic Book Guy: And that is why the Lord of the Rings can never be filmed.
- Young Marge: Did you know that every U.S. president has been a straight white man?
- Young Homer: Even Walt Disney?
- Young Marge: And did you also know that history is written by the winners?
- Young Homer: Really? I thought it was written by losers
- Young Marge: Professor, do you think white male scientists have marginalized the contributions of the third world?
- Steffan August: Great question. And the answer is "of course." Could a tribe of bushmen have invented penicillin? Maybe they already have. But no one asked them. No one asked them.
- College kid: Stupid townie!
- Young Homer: Hey, it's townies like me that cook your food and clean your bathrooms!
- Dean: If you did the former better we'd use the latter less. [Homer runs off crying] That's it, townie! Run! Run back to your town!
- Young Homer: Okay, I'll keep the L.P.s and you take the C.D.s. I'll take the typewriter, you take the computer. I'll take the Enron stock, you take the Microsoft stock. And um...
- Young Marge: Have you really read all these books?
- Steffan August: Morally, I couldn't display them on shelves if I hadn't. But I watch sports as well, just like a regular man. [turns on the football game] Good Goddess! The "Patriots" are deep in "Redskin" territory. This isn't entertainment, it's genocide.
- Steffan August: Marge, may I compliment your appearance?
- Young Marge: Yeah, sure.
- Steffan: You look lovely. If I were to approach you for a kiss, would you construe that as harassment or give your willing consent?
- Young Marge: Consent, of course.
- Steffan: Ah. Continuing in that line of thought, may I kiss your mouth with my mouth?
- Young Marge: Just do it already!
- Homer: I had finally realized every rock star's dream... hating being famous.
- Young Homer: He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life.
- Steffan: Look at that lighthouse. That's the ultimate expression of phallo-centric technocracy, violating mother sky.
- Young Marge: I thought they were just tall so boats could see them.
- Steffan: No, Marge. Everything penis-shaped is bad.
- Young Marge: Oh my God, you're a junkie!
- Young Homer: I need it...
- Young Marge: I'm getting you off this stuff.
- Young Homer: But I need it...
- Young Marge: No you don't!
- Marge: Unfortunately, as I later learned, that wasn't heroin. It was insulin. Homer really did need those injections.
- Homer: I had become diabetic from drinking too many Frappuccinos.
- Young Homer: Of course. The thing that stood between us - the nineties - is almost over.
- Young Marge: You're right. But I'm worried about what's on the horizon: reality shows, Britney Spears, the suspicious number of home runs being hit.
- Young Homer: At least we know there'll never be a president worse than Bill Clinton. Imagine, lying in a deposition in a civil lawsuit. That's the worst sin a president could commit.
- Young Marge: There'll never be a worse president. Never.
- Young Homer: Never.
