The Homer of Seville/Quotes
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"The Homer of Seville"
- Homer: Oh man, that church service was so boring. I did a whole book of Find-A-Words.
- Lisa: Dad, all you circled were the "I's" and "A's".
- Homer: Those are words.
- Homer: If anyone asks, tell them we're plumbers... and then start plumbing until they go away.
- Marge: Oh Homer, you've gotta try this roast beef au jus.
- Homer: Mmmm, au jus! Not quite gravy, not quite blood...
- Dr. Hibbert: Homer, you have a mild back sprain. And you also ingested a dangerous quantity of grave dirt.
- Homer: Well, you're always telling me I should eat more dirt.
- Dr. Hibbert: Not dirt—vegetables!
- Homer: Which grow in what?
- Mr. Burns: Let's see, I'll take his liver, a case of Adam's apples, that motorcycle man's mustache...
- Waylon Smithers: The money you've contributed to anti-helmet laws has really paid off, sir.
- Mr. Burns: Well, young people are my future.
- Bart: Dad, you were great!
- Lisa: And you contributed to our culture!
- Homer: Well I didn't mean to!
- Lisa: No, no. It's a good thing.
- Homer: Oh, good. This makes up for me showing up drunk to the father-daughter dance.
- Lisa: The dance isn't till next week.
- Homer: Sorry, Lisa. Can't change the future.
- Plácido Domingo: Nice set, Homer. That was a hot one.
- Homer: Wow, praise from Plácido Domingo.
- Plácido Domingo: Call me P-Dingo.
- Homer: Eh, I'll think about it.
- Plácido Domingo: You know, Homer, there's one thing about opera that has always bugged me: everyone sings instead of talking. But you made me believe I was in a magical world where singing is talking.
- Homer: Thanks! You know, of The Three Tenors, you're my second favorite! No wait, I forgot about that other guy. Sorry, you're third.
- Marge: I want you to stop flirting with women.
- Homer: No problem.
- Elegant man: Sir, may I say I thoroughly enjoyed your performance.
- Homer: And may I say I'm enjoying the calm waters of your deep, blue eyes?
- Elegant man: Oh, well, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
- Homer: [to Marge] What? That's how guys talk.
- Homer: So did you see the show tonight? Remember the part where I forgot the words and I just sang "Uh-oh Spaghetti-os". I'm hoping they send me a case.
- Julia: Now listen, Homer. You can have me any time you want me.
- Homer: Marge!
- Julia: But if you say one word to your wife, I'll tell her you attacked me.
- Marge: What is it, sweetie?
- Homer: Um, everyone's wearing clothes in here.
- Marge: That's nice!
- Marge: I'm sorry you got hurt, but you learned an important lesson. No one comes between me and my Homie.
- Julia: I'll get you for this, Marge! If it's the last thing I do! Oh and I scheduled the cable guy to come on Wednesday between ten and two.
- Marge: Oh but Wednesday's not good for me.
- Julia: I know, Marge. I know. [long evil laugh]