Difference between revisions of "Mobile Homer/Quotes"

Revision as of 14:12, March 13, 2016

Insurance Rep: Mr. Simpson before we can insure you we need to ask you some questions. Have you ever had a heart attack?

Homer: Haven't we all.

Insurance Rep: Strokes?

Homer: None…no wait, three. (chuckles) Since the last one I don't remember so good.

Insurance Rep: Are you a smoker?

Homer: Yes I am.

Marge: You don't smoke!!

Homer: Shhh!! (whispering) I want her to think I'm cool.

Marge: Is there anything more fun than a nice Sunday drive?

Bart: Oh yeah, it's great. Why don't we top it off by reading to old people?

Lisa: Well, I think, in these days of petro-terrorists and ozone depletion, a Sunday drive reeks of bio-hubris.

Homer: You can't enjoy money when you're dead so why not have fun now!!

Marge: Don't you think you've had enough fun? Last year you spent $5,000 on donuts, $2,000 on scalp massages, $500 on body glitter.

Homer: Hey, I earned that money. While you lounge around here doing laundry and putting up drywall, I'm at work busting my hump.

Marge: Oh, please. From what I hear, you waltz in there at 10:30, take a nap on the toilet, then sit around Googling your own name until lunch.

Homer: (gasping) Who told you that?!

Marge: You shouted it while we were making love!! Now look here, mister, I pay the bills, I do the budget and I'm in charge of the money. Hmmm!

Marge: I am so sick of that story about finding an onion ring in your French fries! It was 20 years ago!

Homer: That was my Woodstock!