Difference between revisions of "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo/Quotes"

Revision as of 18:39, March 3, 2013

Lisa: "Hey! Look, there's a cyber-café opening here in Springfield. Will you take me, Dad, please? I'll show you how to order pizza over the Internet."

Homer: "The Internet? Is that thing still around?"

Bart: "I know a website that shows monkeys doing it."

Lisa: "Bart, the Internet is more than a global pornography network; it's --"

[Lisa is cut off by the horn honking in the driveway. Homer and Bart are already in the car.]

Homer: "Come on, Lisa -- monkeys!"

[At the cyber-café, Homer Net-surfs on two computers at once.]

Lisa: "Wow, Dad, you're surfing like a pro!"

Homer: "Oh, yeah! I'm betting on Jai-alai in the Cayman Islands, I invested in something called 'News Corp' --"

Lisa: "Dad! That's FOX!"

Homer: [shrieks] "Undo! Undo!"

Bart: I'm still checking Japanese TV. Hey, isn't it that cartoon that causes seizures? (Bart suddenly starts having a seizure)

Marge: Bart, what are you doing-(Marge suddenly has a seizure)

Lisa: Hey, what the-(Lisa then suddenly has a seizure as well)

[The Simpsons eat at a USA-themed restaurant called "Americatown." Each table is shaped like a state, and the Simpsons are seated at Massachusetts.]

Homer: "I can't believe they stuck us at Taxachusetts! Hey, you know, I once knew a man from Nantucket."

Bart: "And?"

Homer: "Let's just say the stories about him are greatly exaggerated."

[A waiter approaches the Simpsons' table.]

Waiter: "Howdy, gangstas! I'm average American Joe Salaryman waiter."

Bart: "These prices suck! Ten thousand yen for coleslaw?"

Lisa: "Don't you serve anything that's even remotely Japanese?"

Waiter: "Don't ask me; I don't know anything! I'm product of American education system. I also build poor-quality cars and inferior-style electronics."

Homer: [chuckling] "Oh, they got our number!"

[After Homer and Bart are released from the prison, the family is takes a walk in a park.]

Homer: Satori no himitsu oshieru no?

(Should we tell them the secret of inner peace?)

Bart: Dame yo! Are ha gaikokujin daro

(No, they are foreign devils!)

[After losing their money, the Simpsons work in a fish-processing plant to try to earn their fare home.]

Marge: [cheerfully] "Every truckload of fish we gut brings us thirty-one cents closer to those tickets home."

Bart: "And I think I've finally found what I was put on this earth to do. [starts gutting fish] Knife goes in, guts come out. Knife goes in, guts come out."

[Bart pulls a talking fish out of the pile.]

Fish: "Spare my life and I'll give you three wish ... [knife goes in, guts come out] ... gaah!"

Bart: "Knife goes in, guts come out."

Bart: (turns on the TV and Homer appears in the screen) Mom, Lise check it out Dad's on TV. (Lisa and Marge watch)

Homer:( Unzips his pants and sits on the toilet) Oh yeah! (Marge, Bart, Lisa off screen screaming at what they see)