The Simpsons: Tapped Out Clash of Creeds: Christmas Royale content update/Prizes Gameplay

The Lap of Luxury

The Lap of Luxury Pt. 1

After tapping on Krusty Claus' exclamation mark: Alright, let's take a look at the old Krusty Christmas mailbag. *reading* "Dear, Krusty Claus. I want a new kitten because my old one aged-out into a cat. Ick!" *reading* "And I want the new video game Bonestorm 7: Die, Mom, Die!" *reading* "And the new Slay Station 5 to play it on. The processor has been optimized for death throes and blood-flecked final coughs." *reading* "Bring it to me or go to Hell! Kidding. But kind of not." Kids these days are so entitled. Why doesn't anybody ever ask what Krusty Claus wants? The elves finished knocking-off the Futurama merch and the robots finished knocking-off the Disenchantment crap — that plan worked like a charm, by the way. Is there anything else you want? Exactly! Why doesn't anybody ever ask me that? I just did. You know what I mean. Task: Make Krusty Claus Go Treat Himself (4h, Springfield Mall, Santa's Workshop or Brown House) If the user has Elf Bart: Task: Make Elf Bart Work Through the Toy Backlog (6h, Santa's Workshop, North Pole Station, North Pole Elf Cabins, Santa's House, Mall Santa Wish Center or Brown House) Where's Krusty Claus? I need to tell him we're behind on our toy production. He said something about "treating himself" and stormed off. What's the problem? We modernized "the list" to take account of goodness fluidity and now we have to make presents for the whole NNBN community — naughty, nice, both, neither. That's cool. I have always been a little nice-curious. If we're going to be ready by C-Day, we need less talking and more mallet-tapping. I also got sucked into a rebranding campaign designed to offset unconscious White Christmas privilege. Important work, but a bit of a rabbit hole. Quest reward: 100 and 10

The Lap of Luxury Pt. 2

After tapping on Krusty Claus' exclamation mark: Alright. Something just for me. There's gotta be something good here at this mall. Vape flavors! Get your vape flavors here! Your one-stop shop for cheap drones! Ugh. Is this what malls have come to? Santa? Can — can I — can I tell you my Christmas list? Pweaaaasse? Uh... I'm not Santa Claus, kid. I'm Krusty Claus. I only handle the zip codes outside of Santa's sled range. Also it's my day off. *cries* Ah, come on. Don't do me like that. *ominous glare* My baby is glaring ominously because he wants to give you his Christmas wish list. Look, I'm just here for like a... *looks around* ... a phone case, or maybe a calendar. *ominous glare* I'll pay you two hundred dollars. Two hundred bucks?! That would buy a lot of calendars. Hop on up here, baby. Tell Krusty Claus all your hopes and dreams. Task: Make Krusty Claus Abandon His Principles (4h, Springfield Mall, Mall Santa Wish Center, Santa's Workshop or Brown House) Man, this mall Santa biz is quite a racket. Way more lucrative than building millions of free toys and selling mail-order reindeer steaks. You called me, Boss? Elf Bart, we've got some monetizing to do. Look at this line of sheep waiting to be fleeced! How about a Meaning-of-Christmas VIP Pass? For a hundred bucks, the last person in line shall be first and the first shall be last. What if more than one person bites? We keep switching as long as they keep paying. Love it. You truly are a good shepherd! Quest reward: 100 and 10

The Lap of Luxury Pt. 3

After tapping on Krusty Claus' exclamation mark: Hmm. This does appear to be the right place, but it looks like there is already another Santa taking wishes. Look, kid. Enough with the details. Just point to a picture in this catalog and I'll send your parents an e-mail with a link to buy it. Kapeesh? Excuse me, I'm here to run Santa's Wish Center. Is... is this the right place? Oh, uh... right. Yeah, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but uh... you've been replaced this year. *gasp* Is this because I used the A word? The A-word? Amazon. I told some kid they could get better prices online. You use Amazon? It's just too convenient! I wonder how they are able to deliver presents all over the world in a single night. I thought YOU could do that. Nah. We use a large unpaid local seasonal workforce to make it seem that way. We call them parents. I need this job to pay my Amazon bill. I'm going to talk to the manager and sort this out. Task: Make Santa Claus Get This Sorted (4h, Springfield Mall, Mall Santa Wish Center, Santa's Workshop or Brown House) If the user has Krusty Claus: Task: Make Krusty Claus Take a Smoke Break (4h, Springfield Mall, Mall Santa Wish Center, Santa's Workshop or Brown House) I told you, you haven't been replaced. So then who's out there taking my wishes from kids? I don't know, but he's really ripping through those lines quick. I hate to shut him down. What if you just set up shop by the other exit and we'll have two mall Santas this year? By the supermarket? What kind of mall has a grocery store for an anchor store? A failing one. Any other questions? Quest reward: 100 and 10

The Lap of Luxury Pt. 4

After tapping on Krusty Claus' exclamation mark: Alright, next! Get on up here. *jumps onto Krusty Claus' lap* Oof, aren't you a little old to be asking Santa for things, kid? Why, yes I am. But then again, you're not Santa. *squints* Are you? Hey, hey keep your voice down. I got elf mouths to feed. What do you want? *whispers into Krusty Claus' ear* Are you kidding me?! Do you know how much those cost? Hey everybody! This guy's not the real— OKAY, okay. Jeez, kid. Just shut your mouth, alright? I'll have it to you by the end of the day. Task: Make Krusty Claus Pull Some Strings (2h, Springfield Mall, Mall Santa Wish Center, Santa's Workshop or Brown House) If the user has Nelson: Task: Make Nelson Wait With Bated Breath (2h, Springfield Mall, Mall Santa Wish Center, Santa's Workshop or Brown House) Wooaahhh. That... is... amazing. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Can I try it? *shoots his new flamethrower across the lawn* If you're man enough, sure. AWESOME! And Santa Claus just gave it to you? You gotta know how to ask. Quest reward: 100 and 10

The Lap of Luxury Pt. 5

After tapping on Krusty Claus' exclamation mark: Right there, Chief! Arrest him! Alright, you're coming with me. Cuff him, boys. Hey, get your sticky donut hands off me, old man! No, not him! The Santa impersonator! But this kid's got a flamethrower. Quick boss, duck out the back. I'll distract 'em. Task: Make Krusty Claus Duck Out the Back (1h, Springfield Mall, Mall Santa Wish Center, Santa's Workshop or Brown House) If the user has Elf Bart: Task: Make Elf Bart Distract the Cops (1h, Springfield Mall, Mall Santa Wish Center, Santa's Workshop or Brown House) If the user has Jimbo: Task: Make Jimbo Try Out His New Flamethrower (1h, Springfield Mall, Mall Santa Wish Center, Santa's Workshop or Brown House) It's good to be back at Claus Co. But I can't imagine how far behind we are now on Christmas. If we train a thousand penguins to make toys and put them on the line we could get be back on schedule in no time. You do realize that there are no penguins at the North Pole? They only live in Antarctica. That's not fair! What are they, some kind of a trick-question animal? No wonder they look stupid! Quest reward: 200 and 20

The Chain of Command

The Chain of Command Pt. 1

After tapping on Moses' exclamation mark: First the Christians, then the Movementarians, and now the Burnsentarians? We're getting our hats handed to us! To be fair, the other religions don't really have hats. It's not about the hats! We're losing market share, and you need to turn it around ASAP! Me? I've got my hands full with the Israelites. How about Noah? He spends all his time working on that boat — and he never even takes it out on the water. It just needs one more coat of sealant. You know why I don't want Noah? Because he's like his ark — washed up! I used to pack them in back in flood times, boss! How many millennia ago was that? A few. When I want someone to rescue a goat for me, I'll talk to Noah. You're the right person for this, Moses. You're my number one rep. Just use the ABC method. Always. Be. Converting. Okay but...seeing as you are all powerful, maybe you should just, you know, MAKE them follow you? Maybe I should MAKE you into a rabbit! All right, all right, I'm going! Task: Make Moses Help Sort Out the Town's Problems (4h, Town Hall or Brown House) If the user has Yahweh: Task: Make Yahweh Meet God for Brunch (4h, Sham Rock Cafe, Skip's Diner, Grub Shack, The Happy Sumo, Johnny Fiestas, The Frying Dutchman or Brown House) He ran so fast he left his sandals behind! It was priceless! I love it. When you're the Creator, they just let you do it! I know. Oh my God, you should've seen his face. Hey, watch the language man. There's no need to be taking my name in vain. Jesus, you have to be offended by everything. Don't bring him into this! Quest reward: 100 and 10

The Chain of Command Pt. 2

After tapping on Moses' exclamation mark: Tell me, Reverend, what is in the heart of the people here? How do we bring them back to the Lord? Don't know, don't care. Perhaps that attitude explains the sparse attendance at your services. What part of "don't care" don't you understand? We're kind of a Christmas-and-Easter congregation, and that works for us. The rest is train time. I see that I must consult someone with greater insight into the spiritual needs of this community. Task: Make Moses Go See Lindsay Naegle (2h, Towne Centre at Springfielde Glenne, Springfield Mall, Mall Station, Heavenly Hills, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has Lindsay Naegle: Task: Make Lindsay Naegle Conduct Market Research (2h, Towne Centre at Springfielde Glenne, Springfield Mall, Mall Station, Heavenly Hills, Simpson House or Brown House) According to our research, your commandments are seen as "stern", "unfriendly", and "shalt-y". Comments included, "Reminds me of something my old roommate would put on the fridge", and "I shalt give this guy plenty of side-eye". Is there any chance we could lose the commandments? Lose them? The commandments are our brand! In that case, we'd better turn to the ultimate source of truth: a focus group! Quest reward: 100 and 10

The Chain of Command Pt. 3

After tapping on Moses' exclamation mark: Okay, what sort of things do you think you should be commanded not to do? I don't want to say, because I'm so ashamed of 'em — and 'cause I don't want to stop doing 'em. Thou shalt not hang around with the same boring people every night? Thou shalt not bring up the same argument every night? Thou shalt not kill the buzz. Thou shalt not NOT spend every night drinking in a bar. What about gossip? How do we feel about prohibiting that? That reminds me! Thou shalt never believe what I heard about Sarah Wiggum! Are there any positive commandments you'd like to be ordered to obey? Thou shalt rest on the Sabbath by drinking in the street. Thou shalt find the keys to a new car under your chair! Task: Make Moses Analyze the Focus Group Results (2h, Towne Centre at Springfielde Glenne, Springfield Mall, Mall Station, Heavenly Hills, Simpson House or Brown House) Task: Make Focus Group Suggest More Commandments [x5] (2h, Towne Centre at Springfielde Glenne, Springfield Mall, Mall Station, Heavenly Hills, Simpson House or Brown House) Characters: Moe, Lenny, Carl, Homer, Barney, Helen Lovejoy Our research found 537 commandments that tested better than your existing ten. The highest-rated commandment overall was: Go Big or Go Home. Well that should be pretty easy to carve. The whole stone-tablets things tested badly, too. According to our testing, it should be written on a pizza — in pepperoni. And served with ranch. Ranch on pizza? Maybe it is time to dust off the old smiting stick. Quest reward: 100 and 10

The Chain of Command Pt. 4

After tapping on Moses' exclamation mark: People of Springfield, thank you for meeting here today for the grand unveiling of the Springfield Commandments, sponsored by Bloodbath & Beyond Gun Shop. Home of the second commandment. I mean — second amendment. Whatever, same thing. Now if someone could just give me a hand lifting these enormous stone tablets... ... No one? Okay, I'll just read them down on the ground here. Commandment number one: "Thou Shalt Let Your Grandparents Live With You Instead Of Dumping Them at Springfield Retirement Castle". Ah, c'mon! Commandment number two: "Thou Shalt Wear Hot Pants Only When The Situation Calls For It". Yarr, ye've struck right to the heart of me! Commandment number three: "Thou Shalt Konmari Fold All Your Clothes". Well, that doesn't sound so bad. That does NOT spark joy! C'mon everybody. Moses is trying to ruin Springfield. Grab your pitchforks! Is this flamethrower okay? Task: Make Springfielders Chase Moses With Pitchforks [x10] (4h) Task: Make Moses Run For His Life (4h) You were chased out of town! I'll be the first to admit that that didn't go the way I wanted. I'm disappointed in myself. We've got a 0.5 rating. There are ViewTube cults with more followers than us. Well, I'll get back out there and turn this around. Put the tablets down! What? You heard me. Put the tablets down. You're kidding, right? Do I look like I'm kidding? Commandments are for closers. How can I chastise without commandments? Here's a commandment for you: Thou shalt hit the bricks. You're fired! I've got a new rep: Gil Gamesh. Is he even a monotheist? We're just following the numbers here, Moses. Ol' Gil is back, baby! *singing* Summertime and the living is easy! Quest reward: 200 and 20

Packing Heat

Packing Heat Pt. 1

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark: Homie, I'm so excited for this weekend getaway. It'll be a long drive, but the time away from the kids will all be worth it. Patty and Selma should be here to pick them up any second. Yeah, and don't forget about the sexy times. Remember the sexy times we had planned, Marge? *giggles* Should I bring that sexy Santa outfit I bought for Christmas? I don't think you need to bring anything else. Oh! Patty just left a voicemail saying her car broke down and she can't make it to pick up the kids. I'm gonna have to go drop them off. *runs out the door* No problem, Marge. I'll take care of packing your things while you drop off the kids. Let's see. Now where does Marge keep her sexy things? Task: Make Homer Pack Marge's Bag for the Trip (2h, Simpson House or Brown House) Task: Make Marge Drop Off the Kids (2h, Homer's Car, Canyonero, Unlicensed Taxi, Willie's Tractor, WWII Tank, Bicycle with Basket, Starline Commander, Secret Agent Car, Chalmers' 1979 _ONDA, Simpson House or Brown House) If the user has Bart: Task: Make Bart Fight With Lisa the Whole Way (2h, Homer's Car, Canyonero, Unlicensed Taxi, Willie's Tractor, WWII Tank, Bicycle with Basket, Starline Commander, Secret Agent Car, Chalmers' 1979 _ONDA, Simpson House or Brown House) Task: Make Lisa Fight With Bart the Whole Way (2h, Homer's Car, Canyonero, Unlicensed Taxi, Willie's Tractor, WWII Tank, Bicycle with Basket, Starline Commander, Secret Agent Car, Chalmers' 1979 _ONDA, Simpson House or Brown House) C'mon, Marge. How about a little smooching? *giggles* Homie, I don't think it's the right time for that. Well, I could make time. *scootches over* Homer, eyes on the road! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Packing Heat Pt. 2

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark: Marge, will you look at this hotel room? There's a bathtub in the living room! Ooh. And a couch in the bathroom! It is awfully fancy. Let me just get out of these clothes from the long drive. Um, Homie where did you pack my other clothes? The only thing in this bag is my sexy Santa outfit. Yep. That's — that's all you packed me?! Marge, what do you think we came up here for? Isn't that the only outfit you need? *annoyed grumble* Homer, we're here for four days. Didn't you want to take some time to go hiking or sight-seeing or anything? No. Homer Simpson, you're going to drive into town right this instant and buy me some more clothes. But, Marge... we're in the middle of nowhere. Plus I only brought exactly enough gas money to get us home. Fine, then at least go downstairs and get me one of the hotel robes from the pool. Your wish is my comm — ooh, there's mints on our pillows! Task: Make Homer Go Downstairs to Get Marge a Robe (4h, Palm Springfield Resort, Smooches on the Beach, Resort Hotel, Exclusive Resort, African Tree Resort, Simpson House or Brown House) Task: Make Sexy Santa Marge Take a Bath (4h, Palm Springfield Resort, Smooches on the Beach, Resort Hotel, Exclusive Resort, African Tree Resort, Simpson House or Brown House) Marge! I got you a robe! Thank you. Is... is that one of the sexy robes from the gift shop? It sure is... Homer, you spent the last of our gas money to get another sexy outfit?! Correction: I spent the last of our gas money — and downgraded us to a double room for a refund — to get another sexy outfit. Pack your bags, we're down the hall now. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Packing Heat Pt. 3

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark: Fine, I'll just change back into the dirty clothes I came in. Can't. I put them in the washing machine, but it turned out to be an ice machine, and when I put them in the microwave to melt, it exploded and shredded them. The shreds are in the dryer. At least I hope that's the dryer. Okaaayyy, I'll call down to the lobby and have them bring me up one of the pool robes. Can't. I put our room on double-reverse-do-not-disturb, which means they can't disturb us AND we can't disturb anyone else. Just to be safe. Because of all the sexy times we were planning... And our cellphones? Threw them out the window to make sure the kids couldn't contact us. *annoyed grumble* I'm heading down to the pool myself to get a robe, since you obviously can't be trusted to do it. In that outfit? Task: Make Sexy Santa Marge Sneak Down to the Pool (2h) Task: Make Homer Mope in the Hotel Room (2h, Palm Springfield Resort, Smooches on the Beach, Resort Hotel, Exclusive Resort, African Tree Resort, Simpson House or Brown House) *sneaking* Okay, I'm just about to the pool now. I just need to make sure no one sees me in my sexy Santa costume. Timothy, stop splashing me, please. *splashes* I'm baptizing you, Helen. Get it? *splashes* I want to baptize Mommy, too! *whispering* Oh, no. What are they doing here? If I can just sneak around to the other side of the pool without them seeing me... *gasp* Marge Simpson! To think that you would come all the way here just to seduce my husband. You think she'd do that? *puts hands over Reverend Lovejoy's eyes* Well, I won't give you OR him the satisfaction! C'mon, we're leaving. Everyone put on your pool robes. It's a good thing we got the last ones. *annoyed grumble* Quest reward: 100 and 10

Packing Heat Pt. 4

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark: I guess I'll just go to the front desk. I don't even care who sees me anymore. Welcome to the Resort at — hgggghhh— Is it possible that you have any more pool robes in the back room? *gulps* I — we have — I can check on that for you... If the users has Squeaky Voice Teen: Task: Make Squeaky Voice Teen Try Not to Stare (4h, Palm Springfield Resort, Smooches on the Beach, Resort Hotel, Exclusive Resort, African Tree Resort, Simpson House or Brown House) Task: Make Sexy Santa Marge Hide Behind a Lobby Ficus (4h) Task: Make Homer Hatch a Plan Back in the Room (4h, Palm Springfield Resort, Smooches on the Beach, Resort Hotel, Exclusive Resort, African Tree Resort, Simpson House or Brown House) Homer, I'm back. And lucky for you they were all out of robes, so I'm still as sexy as ever. Homer? Are you here? Homer, you're not trying to play that sexy hide-n-seek game again, are you? Because I'm really not in the mood. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Packing Heat Pt. 5

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark: Alright, everyone. Step right up. It's five dollars to make me do a belly flop. Ten dollars to cover myself in grease and slide off the roof of the pool gazebo... Fifteen dollars and I'll get inside that floaty tube and do the truffle shuffle in the deep end... Whoa, slow down. One at a time. Okay — form a line, everyone... Task: Make Homer Humiliate Himself for Cash (4h, Palm Springfield Resort, Smooches on the Beach, Resort Hotel, Exclusive Resort, African Tree Resort, Simpson House or Brown House) Task: Make Sexy Santa Marge Search for Homer (4h, Palm Springfield Resort, Smooches on the Beach, Resort Hotel, Exclusive Resort, African Tree Resort, Simpson House or Brown House) Homer? What in the world are you doing? *slides off roof of pool gazebo* Marge, look at how much money I made just by humiliating myself! And to think I was gonna do that anyways. Oh, Homie. You did this all for me? Yeah, I made enough money for gas to get us home AND some new clothes for you. Or... we could skip the clothes and just get this sexy Santa outfit back to the room where it belongs... You don't have to ask me twice! Quest reward: 200 and 20