The Moe and Otto Switcheroo/Quotes

Quotes

Bart: Hurry up, Lisa! We're gonna be late!

Lisa: Why are you in such a hurry to get to school?

Bart: I covered Skinner's desk in chia seeds before the weekend. I gotta see what it looks like before he cleans it up!

Lisa: Ewww.

Ralph Wiggum: Mr. Bus Driver, are we going to the school today?

Otto Mann: For the last time,v kid, I don't know! I just drive. I don't pay attention! See what I mean? That's the same kid that wakes me up during my nap on the ride home!

Bart: ...Why not go to Moe's? That's where my dad goes when he needs to blow off steam.

Otto: Does he come home happy?

Bart: Drunk is a kind of happy.

Moe Szyslak: Geez, Barney... do you have to do that in here right now?

Barney Gumble: But, Moe... I'm your best customer!

Moe: Best or not, I can't have you brushing your teeth with beer at the bar. It's...uh... an inappropriate place for dental hygiene.

Barney: You sound just like the guy at the liquor store.

Otto: That jukebox got any heavy metal?

Moe: Nah. Just mostly country songs by Willie Nelson. He paid his bar tab one night usin' old records.

Otto: What? No way! Owning my own bar would be a dream! Serving righteous suds, talking to righteous barflies, pickling righteous eggs! You even got you're own pool table with almost all the balls!

Moe: Yeah, I've been meaning to go out and buy a fourteen and a six... but who's got the time?

Principal Skinner: Moe, I appreciate you bringing the kids here safely, but I can't just give anyone the position of bus driver! It's not like it's groundskeeping!

Groundskeeper Willie: Ach! I'm right here, ya thoughtless git!

Principal Skinner: Otto's record was far from perfect. In fact, he ran me over while I was filling out the paperwork to make him the bus driver. As long as you don't do that, you're hired!

Barney: Hey, you're not Moe.

Otto: The name's Ot-to, and you look like you wanna get blot-to!

Barney: Really? You think you can just come in here and replace my best friend?

Otto: Here's a beer on the house for my first customer. But don't worry, Moe will be back soon.

Barney: Moe who?

Carl Carlson: Is that rock music I hear?

Lenny Leonard: What happened? Did a motorcycle gang take over Moe's again?

Homer: It's like the ghost of Grand Funk Railroad has risen to show us how to rock again!

Otto: What's up, barfly dudes?

Homer: Otto? Where's Moe? Were you secretly Moe all along? Or are you Moe wearing an Otto mask?

Otto: What? No! I switched jobs with Moe.

Lenny: Oh, like Freaky Friday... or one of its many cinematic variations.

Carl: Good enough for me. Where's my beer?

Otto: [on phone] Moe's Tavern, where the rock don't stop!

Bart: [on phone] Yeah, I'm looking for someone. Last name, Bath... first name, Anita.

Otto: [on phone] Hey, Bart-dude! That you? You should come hang out!

Bart: [on phone] I don't want to come down there, I'm looking for Anita Bath.

Otto: [on phone] Who?

Bart: [on phone] Anita Bath! Anita Bath!

Nelson Muntz: Haw haw! "I need a bath!" It works on so many levels! Mostly because you stink!

Dr. Hibbert: I think I missed the exit for the school. Are you sure this is the way?

Ralph Wiggum: I can't read a map or read!

Dr. Hibbert: Dang it. I should've switched jobs with Willie.

Otto: Whoa! I think I'm in over my head! Nurse! Give me more anesthetic!

Nurse: Don't you think you've had enough?

Hans Moleman: Oh, dear. I don't think this is covered by my health insurance.