American History X-cellent/Quotes

Quotes

Season Episode

←

457

"The Greatest Story Ever D'ohed"

"American History X-cellent/Quotes"

"Chief of Hearts"

459

→

Lisa: Such an intricate formicarium. I'm the proudest myrmecologist on the block. Hey, they're not eating.

Bart: Don't worry. I gave 'em a Pop-Tart. The healthy kind strawberry-frosted.

Lisa: Bart, that Pop-Tart wasn't locally farmed or sourced.

Bart: Oh, Lisa, you take the fun out of everything. I am so glad I am not your kid.

Lisa: Well, I'm so glad I'm not your mom.

Bart: You should be. If I was in your tummy, I'd poo in your throat.

Lisa: Ew. Ew. Ew. I'll never get that image out of my head.

Homer: Smithers, what a marshmallow. I don't have a thing with my kid tomorrow.

Carl Carlson: You told me you did.

Homer: I do, but I'm not going to it.

Carl: To Smithers, the world's dumbest loser.

Lenny Leonard: There'nothing sweeter than being nice to a guy's face and then stabbing him in the back the minute he walks away.

Waylon Smithers: All right, that's it. You know, I used to wonder why Mr. Burns hated humanity. Now I know. You open your heart and they mock your very decency.

Homer: Ooh, we mock your very decency.

Homer: I'm pounding Melchizedeks.

Carl: Homer, that's a $60,000 bottle.

Homer: Whoo-hoo. I'm drinking my salary.

Lenny: Yeah, but don't some of that go to income tax?

Homer: Yeah, you're right. The government... taking my hard-earned stolen wine and spending it on that no-good floor.

Lenny: I hear that.

Mr. Burns: Is it a crime to want nice things, and then to steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not!

Bart: Who's carrying 50 times her weight? Ooh, you are.

Lisa: Bart! She's only carrying 30 times her weight. Our girl is slowing down.

Bart: Oh, my God. That is so sad.

Lisa: It's the natural order of things. I'm afraid she's got another two, maybe three days, tops.

Bart: Do we let her spend the rest of her life in the wild? Or let her die in captivity, like Grampa?

Grampa: Hey, in my mind I'm free.

← Season 20 Season 21 Quotes Season 22 →
Homer the Whopper • Bart Gets a "Z" • The Great Wife Hope • Treehouse of Horror XX • The Devil Wears Nada • Pranks and Greens • Rednecks and Broomsticks • Oh Brother, Where Bart Thou? • Thursdays with Abie • Once Upon a Time in Springfield • Million Dollar Maybe • Boy Meets Curl • The Color Yellow • Postcards from the Wedge • Stealing First Base • The Greatest Story Ever D'ohed • American History X-cellent • Chief of Hearts • The Squirt and the Whale • To Surveil with Love • Moe Letter Blues • The Bob Next Door • Judge Me Tender