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American History X-cellent/Quotes

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Season Episode
457 "The Greatest Story Ever D'ohed"

"American History X-cellent/Quotes"
"Chief of Hearts" 459
Lisa: Such an intricate formicarium. I'm the proudest myrmecologist on the block. Hey, they're not eating.
Bart: Don't worry. I gave 'em a Pop-Tart. The healthy kind strawberry-frosted.
Lisa: Bart, that Pop-Tart wasn't locally farmed or sourced.
Bart: Oh, Lisa, you take the fun out of everything. I am so glad I am not your kid.
Lisa: Well, I'm so glad I'm not your mom.
Bart: You should be. If I was in your tummy, I'd poo in your throat.
Lisa: Ew. Ew. Ew. I'll never get that image out of my head.

Homer: Smithers, what a marshmallow. I don't have a thing with my kid tomorrow.
Carl Carlson: You told me you did.
Homer: I do, but I'm not going to it.
Carl: To Smithers, the world's dumbest loser.
Lenny Leonard: There'nothing sweeter than being nice to a guy's face and then stabbing him in the back the minute he walks away.
Waylon Smithers: All right, that's it. You know, I used to wonder why Mr. Burns hated humanity. Now I know. You open your heart and they mock your very decency.
Homer: Ooh, we mock your very decency.

Homer: I'm pounding Melchizedeks.
Carl: Homer, that's a $60,000 bottle.
Homer: Whoo-hoo. I'm drinking my salary.
Lenny: Yeah, but don't some of that go to income tax?
Homer: Yeah, you're right. The government... taking my hard-earned stolen wine and spending it on that no-good floor.
Lenny: I hear that.

Mr. Burns: Is it a crime to want nice things, and then to steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not!

Bart: Who's carrying 50 times her weight? Ooh, you are.
Lisa: Bart! She's only carrying 30 times her weight. Our girl is slowing down.
Bart: Oh, my God. That is so sad.
Lisa: It's the natural order of things. I'm afraid she's got another two, maybe three days, tops.
Bart: Do we let her spend the rest of her life in the wild? Or let her die in captivity, like Grampa?
Grampa: Hey, in my mind I'm free.
Season 21 Quotes
Homer the Whopper Bart Gets a "Z" The Great Wife Hope Treehouse of Horror XX The Devil Wears Nada Pranks and Greens Rednecks and Broomsticks Oh Brother, Where Bart Thou? Thursdays with Abie Once Upon a Time in Springfield Million Dollar Maybe Boy Meets Curl The Color Yellow Postcards from the Wedge Stealing First Base The Greatest Story Ever D'ohed American History X-cellent Chief of Hearts The Squirt and the Whale To Surveil with Love Moe Letter Blues The Bob Next Door Judge Me Tender