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Difference between revisions of "The Old Man and the "C" Student/Quotes"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
< The Old Man and the "C" Student
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{{TabQ}}
 
{{TabQ}}
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Mom and Pop Art|Monty Can't Buy Me Love}}
  
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:''[The mail carrier rings.]''
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{{qf|[[Mayor Quimby]]}} And we will do anything, including but not limited to anything, to make your stay here tolerable.
−
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} I'll get it! ''[laughs]''
+
{{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} Yes, you'll be completely above the law. Uh, women, guns, cash, uh, whatever you need—it's yours.
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{{qf|Mail carrier}} Package for Mr. Simpson.
 
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{{qf|Homer}} ''[closes the door]'' Hmmm. Woohoo! My Springs! They finally came!
 
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{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Homer, they just cut you off for Bart Simpson's comedy.
 
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{{qf|Homer}} Not now, Marge.
 
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{{qf|Marge}} But we lost the Olympics to [[Shelbyville]].
 
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{{qf|Homer}} But I'll have fun selling these springs.
 
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{{qf|Marge}} To who?
 
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{{qf|Homer}} Idiots. Ooh, these are fun!
 
 
----
 
----
−
:''[At [[Moe's]].]''
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{{qf|[[Homer]]}} I've never wanted a beer worse in my life. ''[Marge hands him a beer]'' I love you, honey.
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{{qf|Homer}} Hey, Lenny, want some nuts? ''[shows a can]''
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{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Are you talking to me or the beer?
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{{qf|[[Lenny]]}} Hey, thanks.
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{{qf|Homer}} To you, my bubbly, long-necked, beechwood-aged lover.
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:''[Lenny opens the can. Springs spring out and one stucks in hiss eye.]''
 
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{{qf|Lenny}} Ow, my eye! ''[Homer laughs]''
 
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{{qf|[[Moe]]}} Homer, get out of here.
 
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{{qf|Homer}} Boy, Moe, you sure look angry. Want some nuts?
 
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{{qf|Moe}} Thank you, I love nuts. ''[opens the can and a spring stucks in his eye]'' Ow! God, my eye!
 
 
----
 
----
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:''[At the [[742 Evergreen Terrace|Simpsons house]].]''
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{{qf|[[Superintendent Chalmers]]}} Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to my vacation at [[Lake Titicaca]]. Let's see you make a joke out of that, Mr. Smart Guy!
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{{qf|Homer}} Welcome to the kitchen of tomorrow, today! Marge, how much would you pay for a self flipping hamburger pan?
 
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{{qf|Marge}} Nothing.
 
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{{qf|Homer}} Don't ask yet! Watch how easy it is to flip hamburgers with the help of [[God]]'s latest creation, the springs.
 
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:''[The casserole has springs under it. The burgers jump on the air and the oil burns Homer.]''
 
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{{qf|Homer}} ''[screams]'' Some second-degree burns but some first class burgers!
 
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{{qf|Marge}} Homer, get rid of these springs!
 
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{{qf|Homer}} But you haven't seen the baby of tomorrow! ''[Maggie is full of springs]'' Now, if I drop her, no more tears! ''[he uses her as a basketball ball]''
 
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{{qf|Marge}} Give me my baby!
 
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{{qf|Homer}} Give it up, Marge, I'm coming through the hole!
 
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{{qf|Marge}} Homer, I'm not sure that's a good idea. I want these springs out of our house ''today''!
 
 
----
 
----
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:''[Inside the bathroom, Homer flushes the springs down the toilet.]''
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{{qf|[[Old Jewish man]]}} Hello, let's hear some numbers. I got a nice diagonal goin'.
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{{qf|Homer}} ''[singing]'' You flush one down, it swirls around. Nine hundred and ninety nine springs to flush down!
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{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} B-3.
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{{qf|Marge}} ''[knocks the door]'' You're not flushing those springs down our toilet, are you?
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{{qf|[[Jasper Beardsley]]}} You sunk my battleship!
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{{qf|Homer}} Of course not! Nine hundred and ninety six springs to flush down, nine hundred and ninety six springs!
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:''[seniors laughs]''
 +
{{qf|Lisa}} G-52.
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{{qf|Jasper}} You sunk my battleship!
 +
:''[seniors laughs]''
 
----
 
----
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:''[The boat, with all of the old people, Bart and Lisa, is sinking. When it does, it goes up again.]''
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{{qf|[[Grampa]]}} Oh, I got a bingo! What do I win?
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{{qf|[[Bart]]}} What the heck's going on?
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{{qf|Lisa}} A banana!
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:''[The springs Homer flushes down the toilet come from a pipe and make the boat to spring back up.]''
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{{qf|Grampa}} A whole one?
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{{qf|Homer}} ''[heard singing]'' A hundred and thirty five springs to flush down, a hundred and thirty five springs!
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{{qf|Lisa}} Yep!
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:''[On Mr. Burn's yacht.]''
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{{qf|[[Bart]]}} That's the prize?! A banana?
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{{qf|Mr. Burns}} Now, Smithers, you say you painted all your navy buddies this way?
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{{qf|Lisa}} Their natural mushiness prevents choking and promotes regularity.
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{{qf|[[Smithers]]}} ''[looks up from drawing]'' Until I was discharged sir.
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{{qf|Bart}} They're not babies, Lisa. Give 'em something fun, like cigars or booze.
 +
{{qf|Lisa}} We tried giving them eggnog at Christmas, but it led to widespread de-shawling.
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{{qf|Old Jewish man}} And that's what they get for wearing such tight little shawls.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Marge}} So, Bart, how was your first day of forced volunteerism?
 +
{{qf|Bart}} That place sucks! The nurses don't let Grampa do anything. They practically chew his food for him.
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{{qf|Homer}} Lucky stiff. I'm working my ass off here.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Grampa}} If I get up, somebody'll take my chair.
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{{qf|Jasper}} Got that right. It's the only one left with padding.
 +
{{qf|Seniors}} ''[rubbing the chair enviously]'' Padding...
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Bart}} Full speed ahead! Damn the torpedoes!
 +
{{qf|Grampa}} What did he say? Put on our tuxedoes?
 +
{{qf|Old Jewish man}} I want some taquitos.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Grampa}} Medication time? Hot dog! Gimme, gimme, gimme!
 +
:''[the old folks clamor around for their medication]''
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{{qf|Bart}} But I've set you free. No more nap time, no more bingo. You can do whatever you want!
 +
{{qf|[[Sweet elderly lady]]}} Let's play bingo!
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{{qf|Grampa}} Yeah, let's play bingo!
 +
{{qf|Jasper}} You sunk my battleship.
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:''[seniors laughs]''
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Bart}} Oh, it's not fair. I'm not supposed to die now. I'm supposed to die in a foolish motorcycle stunt at the age of fifteen.
 +
{{qf|{{Ch|Jack LaLanne}}}} Ha, ha! You're not dead yet, you pudgy little pisher.
  
 
{{Season 10|Q}}
 
{{Season 10|Q}}
 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Old Man and the "C" Student/Quotes}}
 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Old Man and the "C" Student/Quotes}}

Latest revision as of 18:49, March 8, 2020


Season 10 Episode Quotes
← 222 "Mom and Pop Art"
223
"The Old Man and the "C" Student"
"Monty Can't Buy Me Love" 224 →


Mayor Quimby: And we will do anything, including but not limited to anything, to make your stay here tolerable.
Chief Wiggum: Yes, you'll be completely above the law. Uh, women, guns, cash, uh, whatever you need—it's yours.
Homer: I've never wanted a beer worse in my life. [Marge hands him a beer] I love you, honey.
Marge: Are you talking to me or the beer?
Homer: To you, my bubbly, long-necked, beechwood-aged lover.
Superintendent Chalmers: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to my vacation at Lake Titicaca. Let's see you make a joke out of that, Mr. Smart Guy!
Old Jewish man: Hello, let's hear some numbers. I got a nice diagonal goin'.
Lisa: B-3.
Jasper Beardsley: You sunk my battleship!
[seniors laughs]
Lisa: G-52.
Jasper: You sunk my battleship!
[seniors laughs]
Grampa: Oh, I got a bingo! What do I win?
Lisa: A banana!
Grampa: A whole one?
Lisa: Yep!
Bart: That's the prize?! A banana?
Lisa: Their natural mushiness prevents choking and promotes regularity.
Bart: They're not babies, Lisa. Give 'em something fun, like cigars or booze.
Lisa: We tried giving them eggnog at Christmas, but it led to widespread de-shawling.
Old Jewish man: And that's what they get for wearing such tight little shawls.
Marge: So, Bart, how was your first day of forced volunteerism?
Bart: That place sucks! The nurses don't let Grampa do anything. They practically chew his food for him.
Homer: Lucky stiff. I'm working my ass off here.
Grampa: If I get up, somebody'll take my chair.
Jasper: Got that right. It's the only one left with padding.
Seniors: [rubbing the chair enviously] Padding...
Bart: Full speed ahead! Damn the torpedoes!
Grampa: What did he say? Put on our tuxedoes?
Old Jewish man: I want some taquitos.
Grampa: Medication time? Hot dog! Gimme, gimme, gimme!
[the old folks clamor around for their medication]
Bart: But I've set you free. No more nap time, no more bingo. You can do whatever you want!
Sweet elderly lady: Let's play bingo!
Grampa: Yeah, let's play bingo!
Jasper: You sunk my battleship.
[seniors laughs]
Bart: Oh, it's not fair. I'm not supposed to die now. I'm supposed to die in a foolish motorcycle stunt at the age of fifteen.
Jack LaLanne: Ha, ha! You're not dead yet, you pudgy little pisher.
Season 10 Quotes
Lard of the Dance • The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace • Bart the Mother • Treehouse of Horror IX • When You Dish Upon a Star • D'oh-in' in the Wind • Lisa Gets an "A" • Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble" • Mayored to the Mob • Viva Ned Flanders • Wild Barts Can't Be Broken • Sunday, Cruddy Sunday • Homer to the Max • I'm with Cupid • Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers" • Make Room for Lisa • Maximum Homerdrive • Simpsons Bible Stories • Mom and Pop Art • The Old Man and the "C" Student • Monty Can't Buy Me Love • They Saved Lisa's Brain • Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo
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