 
The Rapture-tastic Express
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| The Rapture-tastic Express
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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The Rapture-tastic Express is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Heaven Won't Wait content update.
Dialogue
Pt. 1
| Between April 21, 2023 and May 17, 2023
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Can you help us fix Eden before God gets back, Jesus?
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I'd love to, Lisa, but we have to think of the Hell-less.
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*snaps fingers* I've got it! You can let them into Heaven!
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Uh, yeah, about that...
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Not right for their needs... Not enough services...
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So you're a NOMCY?
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Not On My Cloud.
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Ah. Right.
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What the crap did you people do to my garden?!
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I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU PEOPLE!
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I mean, I totally can because I knew that this is what you all were going to do because I know everything, but still, I'm very angry and disappointed.
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Time to flex the ol' Rapture Muscles. *huge thunder sound*
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You...you just crushed my house with a giant bowling pin.
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Sorry about that. I was aiming for Homer's.
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Mr. Flanders, what do we do? I — I don't know what to argue now. His logic doesn't make any sense!
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Well, uh, Your Almightyness, you did send us your only son to ordain a New Covenant where you weren't going to hit us with your wrath anymore.
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Then how come you guys never stop talking about how everything is my wrath?
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It's, uh, possible we've gotten confused on a few points here and there.
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Jesus, you were there at the time, maybe you could quote a few relevant Bible passages to your father?
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You mean the covenant that didn't come into effect until I died? Thanks for the reminder, dude.
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Task: "Collect Halos" (x155). If Jesus Christ is owned: Task: "Make Jesus Take a Bribe". The job takes place at the Garden of Eden, Heaven, Heavenly Swing Set, Candy Heaven, Jewish Heaven, or the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Ned Question His Faith". The job takes place at the Garden of Eden, Heaven, Heavenly Swing Set, Candy Heaven, Jewish Heaven, or the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
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Why are there wads of cash sticking out of the hole in your side?
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*shrugs* I dunno. Stuff winds up there.
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Are you getting kickbacks from developers for green-lighting their projects based on false claims that they'll help the Hell-less?
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That's the thing about being divine in human form — I also share human weaknesses.
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So your "advocacy for the Hell-less" is actually a racket perpetuating Hell-less-ness!
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If I didn't sin, I wouldn't be doing my job.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10 Crushed Flanders' House
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Pt. 2
| After completing Pt. 1
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Boy, I think God is really angry this time! What are we going to do?
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You could buy a ticket for my Rapture Bus and get out of town with me!
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Does that even make sense?
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Only three seats left.
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Give me all three — I don't like sitting next to bus weirdos.
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Task: "Collect Halos" (x155). Task: "Make Homer Sell Tickets for His Rapture Bus". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Springfielders Buy Tickets for the Rapture Bus" (x5). The jobs take place at the Simpson House and take 4 hours. If Mr. Burns is owned: Task: "Make Burns Buy the Rapture Bus". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
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Mr. Burns, I'm surprised you want to leave town on a bus.
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Oh my, never! I wouldn't be caught dead on a bus.
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No, my friends and I are leaving town on our private jets. I just don't want the usual riffraff following us.
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Even if you could run away from the apocalypse, which you can't, without the "riffraff", who's going to do all the work to take care of you?
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I've got Smithers.
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And I've got you, sir.
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Shut up and put my bags on the plane.
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Yes, sir.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10 The Jesus Cube
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Pt. 3
| After completing Pt. 2
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People, this isn't like a hurricane! There's no escape when God decides to end the world!
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Then where did the rich guys go?
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I maybe kind-of, sort-of sent them straight to the depths of Hell.
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I'm starting to think maybe I was wrong about rich people all being good.
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Who could have guessed that the Bible meant what it said about loving money more than people being evil and the rich not getting into heaven?
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Yeah, I really can't stand rich people. They all act like they think they're me!
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Yeah, rich guys are jerks!
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You love rich guys.
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Not when they don't take me with them.
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Task: "Collect Halos" (x155). If Mr. Burns is owned: Task: "Make Mr. Burns Go to Hell". The job takes place at the Stairway to Hell, Hellscape, Flanders' Personal Hell, or Simpson House and takes 4 hours. If The Rich Texan is owned: Task: "Make The Rich Texan Go to Hell". The job takes place at the Stairway to Hell, Hellscape, Flanders' Personal Hell, or Simpson House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Ned Make a Sorry Expression". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Homer Make Sorry-Not-Sorry Expression". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
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Oh Lord, I know I pray a lot—
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Yes, you do! Knock it off. I'm not bailing you out this time!
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Now stop distracting me! Planning a giant flood that will wipe out everyone requires more precision than you'd think.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10 Rapture Bus
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Pt. 4
| After completing Pt. 3
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I've tried everything I can think of. I guess this is really it.
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You can't give up, Mr. Flanders. God's just being stubborn. He's probably testing your faith.
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He seems to do that a lot.
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By golly, you're right, Lisa! I'm going to pray even harder than before!
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Or you can just relax and let me take care of everything — I've got a plan!
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Yeah...I wouldn't stop praying just yet.
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Task: "Collect Halos" (x155). Task: "Make Lisa Try to Figure Out What to Do Next". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Homer Build Giant Sign Out of Empty Donut Boxes". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Ned Pray Even Harder". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
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You built a giant sign out of empty donut boxes that says "DER GOD, WEER SORREE".
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Oh, I misspelled "Dear".
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And "we're".
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Really? I did not know that.
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And "sorry".
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That I did know — I have a lot of practice writing "sorry" on notes to your mother.
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But in this case I deliberately misspelled it so it would rhyme with "weer".
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That's not how rhymes work.
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It's not? Then I don't understand rap music at all.
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Okay, I'm back. Let's hear what you have to say this time.
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I knew Lisa was right! I just kept praying and my faith was rewarded.
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No, I was just amused by Homer's sign.
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That's why I created stupid people in the first place. You never know what idiots are going to do.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10 Heavenly Playscape
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Pt. 5
| After completing Pt. 4
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You said earlier that you knew we were going to screw up again. Well, you made us, and you knew we would fail. Is that really a fair test?
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Eh, that's kind of a good point.
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On the other hand, even if you didn't know, we one-hundred percent would have done the same stupid stuff anyway.
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Say, that's right!
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Not helping, Dad.
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Okay, enough with all this philosophical, theological debate! Fine, I won't wipe you all out—
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Hurray!
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But as of right now, no one is getting into Heaven anymore! I'm building a wall around Heaven!
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There's already a gate.
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That was just for show. You could always go around it. Not sure why more people didn't, really.
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If Heaven is closed, and Hell is full, where will we spend eternity?
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You should have thought of that earlier! I guess you'll have to stay right where you are!
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Woohoo! We're going to live forever!
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Build the wall! Build the wall!
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Task: "Collect Halos" (x195). If God is owned: Task: "Make God Build a Wall Around Heaven". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Ned Ponder Eternity in the Absence of God". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Homer Be Happy He Can Pig Out Forever". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
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You seem really happy about this, Homer.
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Call me nuts, but to me living forever seems like a pretty good deal.
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You don't live next to you.
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My God, why hast thou forsaken me!
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Quest reward: 200 and 20 Angela
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Currency-earning jobs
| Task
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Character(s)
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Time
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Location(s)
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Reward
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| "Borrow" Halos
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Homer, Lisa, Ned, Bart, Wiggum, Rev. Lovejoy, Quimby
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4h
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Heaven, Candy Heaven, First Church of Springfield, Mega Church, Visitable Home
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5, 45
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| Casually Toss in Some Halos
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Jesus Christ
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7, 70
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| Polish Halos
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Eve, Shakespeare
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8, 70
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