  
Children of an Angry God
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| Children of an Angry God
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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Children of an Angry God is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Heaven Won't Wait content update.
Dialogue
Pt. 1
| After completing Peace Was Never an Option
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Okay, I've had enough of your collective nonsense!
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You're really that upset about us not being into peace and love and all that stupid stuff?
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That and dogs being allowed in restaurants, people worshipping their cell phones, there being eight million streaming services now…
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If I wanted humanity to pay streaming subscription fees, I wouldn't have created commercially-supported broadcast!
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And don't get me started about meme stocks, Elon fanboys, dad-jokes, dad-bods, dad-anything…
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Hippie lettuce being legal…
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No, I'm cool with that. I created that so people would chill out.
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But you didn't, so now it's time for "The Great Flood 2: Wetter and Wilder"!
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Oooh, that sounds fun! Like Spring Break for everyone.
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No, not like that at all.
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Task: "Collect Forbidden Fruits" (x115).
If God is owned: Task: "Make God Prepare to Flood the Earth". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Quimby Compound, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Springfielders Panic" (x5). The jobs take place at the Town Hall, Quimby Compound, or a Visitable Home and take 4 hours.
Task: "Make Homer Wonder if Gil is Selling Flood Insurance". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Quimby Compound, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
Barnacle Bay Church
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Pt. 2
| After completing Pt. 1
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But Our Heavenly Father-eeno, you can't do that!
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What part of "omnipotent being" don't you understand? Being the all-powerful creator of all things, I assure you I very much can!
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Other than not wanting to die, give me a good argument why I should spare you all.
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Uh…
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That's what I thought.
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Lisa, you know how to make annoying arguments that I can't refute through logic and facts. Say something!
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God, I think if you look at the demographic data, you'll see that the younger generations are embracing peace, love, and acceptance like never before.
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We do score a bit high in "sense of superiority," but that's just because we're more honest, too.
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We shouldn't be punished for the sins of the preceding three hundred generations. Now, if you want to just get rid of everyone over the age of forty…
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Yeah! Do that. Wait, what?
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Ugh, FINE. I'll give humanity a do-over. But you really better not blow it this time! I'm feeling very Wrath of Me right now.
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Task: "Collect Forbidden Fruits" (x155).
If God is owned: Task: "Make God Create a New Garden of Eden". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Quimby Compound, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Ned Feel Grateful for God's Benevolence". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Quimby Compound, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Lisa Fear Human Nature". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Quimby Compound, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
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You created a new Garden of Eden?
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Too 90s comedy? *sighs* I've been carrying it around for a while. Can't you see the poster — Jim Carrey eating an apple out of Daryl Hannah's hand while the snake stares at the bulge in his leaf? Hilarious! Coulda been a hit.
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But no! Tom Shadyac can make movies about the Almighty, but the Almighty can't sell a movie that sounds like a Tom Shadyac idea!
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You caught me off guard, and I couldn't think of anything fresher.
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Thank you, Lord! But if there's a new Garden of Eden, is there a new Adam and Eve too?
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Oh my! This fig leaf really doesn't leave anything to the imagination.
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Then who am I? I don't know me from Adam!
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That's who you are — Adam! You can tell because you don't have a belly-button.
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You don't have a belly-button either!
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That's because I was made from one of your ribs.
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Eek! My rib! How could you, Eve?
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Don't worry. It grew back!
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Oooh, I know what I'm having for dinner. Bottomless ribs — this place really is paradise!
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Say, God, could I interest you in a little wager on whether or not humanity is going to screw up their latest second chance?
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No bet.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
Tree of Knowledge
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Pt. 3
| After completing Pt. 2
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If we're Adam and Eve, we should probably go into the Garden of Eden — or at least The Gap. You don't have to be conscious of shame to notice that everyone else has clothes on.
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Okay, but I'm not doing any gardening. The sweat of my brow is the one thing I'm never going to earn my living by.
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The sweat of my back against a hammock is another matter entirely.
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Mr. Burns! What are you doing here at the new Garden of Eden?
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Charging admission. Technically God placed it on land that I own.
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What?! Don't you realize God is about to kill everyone for being greedy and terrible?
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Oh, the flood thing? You obviously don't realize how big my yacht is, child.
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I made the Netherlands lower their country even further below sea level just so I could dock it next to a windmill.
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Mr. Burns, sir, I hate to mention this but we need to get into the garden. An Eden without Adam and Eve is like an Awesome Show without Tim and Eric.
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Very well, you may go in. The real money is in my forbidden fruit monopoly anyway.
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Forbidden fruit? That sounds delicious!
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Dad, are you serious? You don't even like fruit!
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That's just regular fruit. Making it forbidden is like adding frosting and sprinkles to a donut.
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Task: "Collect Forbidden Fruits" (x155).
Task: "Make Springfielders Pay to Enter the Garden of Eden" (x5). The jobs take place at the Garden of Eden, Heaven, Heavenly Swing Set, Jewish Heaven, or the Simpson House and take 4 hours.
If Mr. Burns is owned: Task: "Make Burns Overcharge for Forbidden Fruit". The job takes place at the Garden of Eden, Heaven, Heavenly Swing Set, Jewish Heaven, or the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Homer Yearn to Eat Forbidden Fruit". The job takes place at the Garden of Eden, Heaven, Heavenly Swing Set, Jewish Heaven, or the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
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Well, at least with Mr. Burns charging so much for forbidden fruit, no one will be able to afford to eat any.
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*NOM NOM NOM*
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Dad, how could you — and how did you even afford to buy any?!
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I took out four mortgages on the Garden. We're in hock up to the snake.
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Besides, with the flood insurance I bought from Gil, we're going to come out big winners on the other side of this flood!
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*sigh*
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
Gary the Unicorn
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Pt. 4
| After completing Pt. 3
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Mr. Burns, I don't mean to complain, but this is a new garden paradise given to us by God, and it's being torn up by bulldozers and giant chainsaws!
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Isn't it glorious? I'm mining below the ground and building luxury residential towers on it! And when the towers fall into the mines, I'll build more. It's a capitalist paradise!
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Hmm, there's something about despoiling the Garden of Eden that doesn't seem like a great idea.
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Yeah, don't be so silly, Eve! Rich old guys are really smart or they wouldn't be rich. We can trust them to always have the interests of non-rich people at heart.
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Mr. Burns, are you okay? You look like you're choking.
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No, I was just laughing.
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But doesn't it seem like we're just making the same mistakes that made God want to wipe out humanity in the first place?
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I don't understand.
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Are you even speaking English?
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Nevermind. I need to get out of here.
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I can help with that!
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A unicorn?!
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If it isn't the kind that has a pre-IPO market cap of at least one billion, I'm not interested.
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We never got past Series A.
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But if I can gallop over rainbows, I can get you out of this Garden.
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Task: "Collect Forbidden Fruits" (x155).
Task: "Make Homer Believe Rich Guys Are All Smart". The job takes place at the Garden of Eden, Heaven, Heavenly Swing Set, Jewish Heaven, or the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
If Marge is owned: Task: "Make Marge Escape From the New Garden of Eden". The job takes place at the Garden of Eden, Heaven, Heavenly Swing Set, Jewish Heaven, or the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
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Thanks, Gary. I didn't know unicorns could dig tunnels like that. Why didn't you just leap over the walls?
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Oh, wow. You're right. That would have been way easier.
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Another stupid screw-up, Gary! Are you starting to see the pattern, Gary? Because everybody else sees it!
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Anyway, Marge, I hope you find happiness out there.
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You're not coming?
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Nah. I'm gonna stick around here and stab rich guys in the butt with my horn.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
Springfield Cathedral
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Pt. 5
| After completing Pt. 4
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This is insane! You're turning a brand-new paradise into a lifeless hellscape!
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The customer is always right…and my customer is always Satan!
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We're expanding Hell to accommodate the Hell-less.
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You don't support Hell-less-ness do you, Lisa?
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That's a false framing!
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Task: "Collect Forbidden Fruits" (x195).
If The Devil is owned: Task: "Make The Devil Exploit Liberal Guilt". The job takes place at the Garden of Eden, Heaven, Heavenly Swing Set, Jewish Heaven, or the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Lisa Feel Exploited". The job takes place at the Garden of Eden, Heaven, Heavenly Swing Set, Jewish Heaven, or the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
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Mr. Flanders, can you talk to them, businessman-to-businessman?
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Sorry, Lisa, but the Hell-less need to be helled somewhere.
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Mr. Burns doesn't care about Hell-less-ness! He's just exploiting the issue to push through his greedy real estate development.
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I'm disappointed in you, Lisa. I knew we'd run into some NIMPYs but I never thought you'd be one of them!
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*sigh* Fine. What's a NIMPY?
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Not In My Paradise-Y's.
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So you just tack on a "Y" at the end?
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It's not perfect. I'll be the first to admit it.
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Quest reward: 200 and 20
Adam
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Currency-earning jobs
| Task
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Character(s)
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Time
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Location(s)
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Reward
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| Harvest Forbidden Fruits
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Homer, Lisa, Ned, Bart, Wiggum, Rev. Lovejoy, Quimby
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4h
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Garden of Eden, Tree of Knowledge, Springfield Park Entrance, Apple Tree, Simpson House
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 5, 45
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| Get Dad's Angels to Pick Forbidden Fruits
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Jesus Christ
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7, 70
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| Carefully Pick Forbidden Fruits
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Eve
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8, 70
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Behind the Laughter
The quest name is a reference to the play Children of a Lesser God by Mark Medoff.
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