The Simpsons: Tapped Out SciFi content update/Act 1 Gameplay

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Dark Matters

Dark Matters Pt. 1

After the user logs in on August 16th: Ladies and gentleflavens, mark this day on your calendar! For today begins a glorious new age of scientific discovery! Sorry, I already marked today as Taco Tuesday. And I wrote it in pen. Sir, I don't actually care about your salsa-stained calendar. I was trying to sound dramatic. Try harder. Very well. Behold my latest invention... drum roll please... with the drumming and the rolling... the PolyVac! Neat! What is it, some kind of super-computer-controlled particle detector for studying black holes? Actually, little girl, it's a super-computer-controlled, uh... yes, exactly. What she said. Task: Build the PolyVac Quest reward: 100 and 10

Dark Matters Pt. 2

After completing Dark Matters Pt. 1: Now, all we need to study a black hole is a, uh, black hole to study. Black holes suck! Bart! Watch your language, unless you meant that as a scientific observation. Rest assured, madam, I did not. The potty-mouthed lad is correct. Black holes absorb, or colloquially, "suck," everything within their event horizon. Dammit! I hate accidentally making scientific observations. Professor, is it safe to have a black hole within just a few squares of our schools and peanut carts? Relax, Marge, he's a scientist! He wouldn't ask us to do anything dangerous. Quite right, Homer. Now grab a mouthful of that plutonium over there and spit it into this boiling acid to initiate the black hole implosion. I'm way ahead of you! Task: Make Homer Spit Plutonium Into Acid to Form the Black Hole (6s, PolyVac) Now, using the PolyVac, I will prove once and for all that nothing can escape the black hole! But didn't the great physicist Stephen Hawking theorize that black holes emit particles known as Hawking radiation? Hawking Shmawking! I'm sick of that know-it-all with his fancy awards and his show-off chair. There's no such thing as Hawking Radiation. That's not what I heard. Who said that, in a strangely familiar computerized voice? Quest reward: Stephen Hawking, 100 and 10

Dark Matters Pt. 3

After completing Dark Matters Pt. 2: Great Caesar's Gloiven, it's Stephen Hawking! B-but how did you get here? The Hawking Radiation condensed into a physical manifestation of Hawking himself! Thereby conclusively proving the existence of my namesake radiation. Now I'm sure to win the Nobel Prize, and maybe the even more prestigious Hawking Medal. I've never even won the Frink Medal. I surmise black holes are actually terminal endpoints of wormholes leading to parallel universes. We'll need someone brave and expendable to test my theory. Not me, buddy! I'm sick of doing tasks. How come Moleman never has to do anything? Yes, pick me, please, I'm begging you. This sounds like a job for Homer Simpson. Grrr. Okay. But I swear, crawling into this singularity is the last task I'll ever do! Probably. Now wriggle on in there. Sheesh, this wormhole is kind of tight... can you let out the event horizon a little? I said wriggle! Task: Make Homer Wriggle Through the Wormhole (6s, PolyVac) I hope you're happy, Hawking. I proved your theory correct. I made it through the wormhole and lived three lifetimes in another dimension. And all you missed was Taco Tuesday. This is the worst day of my lives! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Dark Matters Pt. 4

After completing Dark Matters Pt. 3: The multiverse is ripe for exploration! So much work to do! Homer, imagine all the work you've ever done, then multiply it by infinity. Zero times infinity? How much is that? About 37. Get busy! Task: Make Homer Do 37 Experiments for Hawking Forget it, Egghead! No more tasks for me! From now on, whenever anyone sends me on a task, I'm going to refuse! Task: Make Homer Refuse to Do a Task No! I refuse! Heh heh. Task complete screen Goal Complete! Congratulations, you completed "Make Homer Refuse to Do a Task." Collect your reward! D'oh! I've gotta get more clever here. To be truly lazy, I'll need to assemble an all-star team of super-dupes to take over my workload. Task: Make Homer Kidnap Alternate Homers from Other Universes (6s, PolyVac) I'm back. Or should I say, WE'RE back! Meet the alternate universe all-stars! Hello. Charmed. What up, Ho-bro. *CHEWING AND BELCHING SOUNDS* Glargggh! Wow, two of them couldn't speak at all. Yet they still seemed slightly smarter than Dad. Quest reward: Alternate Barbarian Homer, Alternate Cool Homer, Alternate Kingsized Homer, Alternate Strongman Homer, Alternate Evil Homer, 100 and 10

Alternate Homers

After completing Dark Matters Pt. 4: This is awesome! A small army of Homers, and I'm the average guy. Which makes me the best! You're the best at nothing! Me? I can overeat better than anyone here, and check out my excellent figure. In my universe, I'm Mr. Universe! Me pillage good! It's all cool, homies. I like my music and my universes to be Alternate. I suppose I'm the prankster of the group. Always up for a round of good-natured criminality. Welcome to my universe, fellas! Sorry if it's a little cheap looking. My Sky Finger is kinda tight with the donuts. Oh, don't sell yourself short! This universe may be a bit shabby, but it's far superior to mine. My Sky Finger only made it to level two before devoting his life to Candy Crush Saga! I don't even have my own Marge! I have nothing but a fence post and a pathetic 1x1 square of flowers! But this universe is a veritable cornucopia of riches, ripe for the plucking... mwahahaha! Task: Make Evil Homer Case the Joint (4h, PolyVac) Task: Make Alternate Homers Fraternize [x4] (4h, PolyVac) System Message Keep sending the Alternate Homers to Fraternize! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Dark Matters Pt. 5

After completing Alternate Homers: Look, there's something else coming through the space sphincter! A real live robot! I AM ROBOT NUMBER 1. Here comes another! I AM ROBOT NUMBER 2. I wonder what the next guy's name will be. I AM ROBOT NUMBER 4. BUT YOU CAN CALL ME ROBOT NUMBER 3. There comes another... and another! That makes five. Quit showing off, Hawking. A veritable army of robots from a parallel universe. What could go wrong? ...I said in the most sarcastic way imaginable. ...Which is how I say everything, so I can understand if there was some measure of confusion regarding-- ROBOTS... ATTACK!!!!!!! Swish. I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords. Fight back! Every able-bodied man, woman, and child! That's everyone but you! Less talking, more fighting. Task: Tap Some Robots [x5] Quest reward: 100 and 10

Dark Matters Pt. 6

After completing Dark Matters Pt. 5: My Homers versus your robots! They're not my robots. Help! I'm being beaten to a king-sized pulp! It's no use! There's dozens more robots pouring out of the wormhole! Tapping isn't working, and it's our only interface! I have an idea! I have a better idea. Fire up the PolyVac! Task: Use the SciFighter What was that flash? A burst of Hawking Radiation. I destroyed the robots, proving once again that brute force is no match for the human mind... ...when accompanied by a tremendously powerful particle-beam weapon. Revenge! Oh no! They're still coming! Guard the PolyVac until it can recharge for another Hawking burst! Less talking, more Hawking! Quest reward: 100 and 10

SciFighter First Win Dialogue

After winning SciFighter for the first time: We did it! We destroyed the robots! What else can we blow up? Grampa's dentures? Martin's underwear? Haw-Haw! I was able to visualize that. I'd like to blow up all those things and more. But unfortunately, the PolyVac has a four-hour cooldown time. According to the, uh, laws of science and what have you, most things take four hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

SciFighter First Loss Dialogue

After losing SciFighter for the first time: Crud, the robots defeated us. This could be the end of the human race! Haw-Haw! And I direct that partially at myself. I can dish it out, but I can also take it. Relax. We'll be fine. The PolyVac should regenerate in four hours. According to the, uh, laws of science and what have you, most things take four hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Dark Matters Pt. 7

After completing Dark Matters Pt. 6: Professor Hawking, can't we stop the robot invasion by just closing the wormhole? Easier said than done. I recruited a local expert on String Theory to advise us, but her analysis is somewhat difficult to follow. BALLSOFSTRING! BALLSOFSTRING! For now, our only hope of survival is to place a highly skilled nuclear engineer in control of the PolyVac. Homer, can we count on you? I'm your man! I'm really good at pressing buttons! Unless they're close together. Or far apart. Oh, God. You're relying on Homer Simpson to keep us alive? I'm the only competent engineer in this entire town! Competent? Didn't I pass your grave already? System Message Check out the store for Frank Grimes, Springfield Nuclear Plant's first and last competent employee! Task: Make Homer Relax in the Brown House (2h, Brown House) If the user has Frank Grimes: Task: Make Frank Grimes Prepare High Voltage Defenses (4h) System Message While these Alternate Homers are visiting your Springfield, keep sending them to Plunder the Multiverse! Quest Reward: 10 and 25 Event Currency

Across the Multiverse

After completing Dark Matters Pt. 7: As long as the wormhole remains open, we can take the battle to parallel universes! Parallel universes? Put it in terms we can understand, Poindexter! *sigh* Just think of them as your "Friends' Towns." Task: Tap 3 Robots in a Friend's Town After tapping an Anomaly: Whoa, man, what's that crazy shape? I'd like to see science explain that! 'Cause it can't! Yes it can, my young mind-altered friend. That is clearly the three-dimensional analog of the square, which I modestly dub the "Frinkohedron." It's called a cube, you boob! Quest reward: 100 and 10

What's the Matter?

What's the Matter? Pt. 1

After tapping on Stephen Hawking's exclamation mark: To understand the nature of the wormhole, we'll need to gather matter samples from a number of other universes. Team Homer is on the job! And as coach of the team, I'll be in the coach's hammock. Very well. You other Homers, travel through the wormhole and liberate a few items of exotic matter. Liberate? That's one of my favorite synonyms for larceny! We're stealing stuff?! Woo-hoo! Task: Make Alternate Homers Gather Exotic Matter [x5] (4h, PolyVac) Quest reward: 100 and 10

What's the Matter? Pt. 2

After tapping on Stephen Hawking's exclamation mark: This exotic matter the Homers obtained is fascinating! What a boon to science! That's nice, Professor Hawking, but the robots are still attacking! I know it's hard to see at this pixel resolution, but a lot of us have very serious wounds. Well, there's not much I can do about that. We'll just have to get used to living in a world where a never-ending line of robots are continually murdering us. Science offers no means to stop them. Then it's time for prayer! Oh, Lord. That's the spirit, Professor! We call upon the Lord to smite these wicked robots! Everyone, bow your heads in prayer to the Almighty One... The Sky Finger. Task: Make Ned Pray to the Sky Finger (8h, Flanders House) Task: Make Stephen Hawking Roll His Eyes (8h, PolyVac) Quest reward: 100 and 10

What's the Matter? Pt. 3

After tapping on Stephen Hawking's exclamation mark: Seeing the finger of God smash the robots of science makes ya think, doesn't it, Dr. Hawking? I'm always thinking! What does it look like I'm doing? Don't have a cow, man! That's what I used to say as a boy. The Sky Finger is not a god. It's a natural phenomenon, easily explainable by, uh, basic laws of physics that we don't yet understand. Then how is it that the Sky Finger can make us do his or her bidding, with a simple tap of his or her mighty finger? Let's just assume it's a him. And that his cubicle is littered with vending machine pastry wrappers. I respect your ludicrous blathering, Ned. But the Sky Finger does not control me. Task: Make Stephen Hawking DJ Some Tunes (1h) Okay. I acknowledge that the Sky Finger is an entity of power. But it's still not a god. For no god would force me to spin records all day! The Lord works in mysterious ways. Can I get an amen and a little more subwoofer? Quest reward: 100 and 10

What's the Matter? Pt. 4

After tapping on Stephen Hawking's exclamation mark: Whatever the Sky Finger is, it must be governed by the laws of science. To fall back on supernatural explanations means giving up the will to understand our universe. Understanding is overrated. Just do as the Sky Finger commands, and enjoy the calming numbness of true faith. Never! As an independent thinking being, I choose to exercise my free will and ponder the nature of the Sky Finger! Task: Make Stephen Hawking Ponder the Nature of the Sky Finger (8h, PolyVac) Task: Make Ned Enjoy the Calming Numbness of Faith (8h, Flanders House) Quest reward: 100 and 10

What's the Matter? Pt. 5

After tapping on Stephen Hawking's exclamation mark: Logic demands that we consider an alternate hypothesis. Perhaps we're all actually living in a simulation... a virtual world manipulated by the Sky Finger. Like a video game? No, nothing like that. Professor Hawking, while you're gassing on, the robots are continuing their attack! Luckily it's mostly stab wounds so far. But still, the sheer quantity of stabbing is hard on people. Particularly the children. Great, now I lost my train of thought. Homer, block as many knife thrusts as you can absorb while I consider whether I'm really just a simulation. Task: Make Stephen Hawking Wonder if He's a Simulation (4h, PolyVac) Task: Make Homer Relax in the Brown House (2h, Brown House) Task: Make Alternate Homers Absorb Knife Thrusts [x4] (4h, PolyVac) Task: Make Evil Homer Scheme (4h, PolyVac) Quest reward: 100 and 10

What's the Matter? Pt. 6

After tapping on Stephen Hawking's exclamation mark: I've come to a conclusion: I am NOT a simulation. For truly, any being capable of contemplating such a question is by definition sentient. That's super. I may never understand the Sky Finger. But that doesn't diminish my personal dignity. Task: Force Hawking to Drive His Wheel Chair Up and Down Stairs (8h, Brown House) Quest reward: 100 and 10

What's the Matter? Pt. 7

After tapping on Stephen Hawking's exclamation mark: I've come to a new conclusion: the Sky Finger is a Sky Jerk! Blasphemy! Thou'st mayn't taketh the Finger's name in vain! The Finger giveth and I giveth the finger. Clever. But still blas-diddly-asphemous! I'm tired of thinking so hard. And I'm tired of rolling up and down stairs! Haven't you people ever heard of a ramp? It was invented thousands of years ago! What kind of society has black hole generators, but no ramps?! Task: Make Stephen Hawking Fight for His Rights (8h) By the power vested in me by the unelected superdelegates, I hereby decree that all buildings are now required to have ramps. Thank you. Let us bow our heads and pray to Sky Finger that such ramps might miraculously be built. Oh, for Finger's sake! Just forget it, I'll use the stairs. Quest reward: 100 and 10

What's the Matter? Pt. 8

After tapping on Stephen Hawking's exclamation mark: Perhaps I've been viewing this through the wrong lens... Like that time I put on Milhouse's glasses and caught lice. If the Sky Finger is an intelligent, albeit non-divine being, physics may not be the best approach to understanding it. Instead, I need to employ that lowest of pseudo-sciences... psychology. I take offense! Psychology is the most rigorous of the self-help infomercial sciences. Sky Finger, it's time you and I had a serious discussion. Task: Make Stephen Hawking Rocket Around Town (8h) Observation: this rocket chair makes ramps obsolete. And it's, like, totally fun! Quest reward: 100 and 10

What's the Matter? Pt. 9

After tapping on Stephen Hawking's exclamation mark: I get it now! The Sky Finger is merely a cosmic child! A powerful being with infinite time to waste! To keep the Sky Finger happy, we just need to offer it things to play with! Just as the ancients offered up blood sacrifices unto the Almighty! Yes. Except instead of a freshly slaughtered goat, we'll offer it digital shrubbery, brightly colored dumpsters, and other such treasures. So science and religion are in agree-diddly-eement? It's not an agreement! More of a, uh, covenant. No fair, that's our word! This is all well and good, but what about the army of bloodthirsty robots invading from another dimension? I heard you the first time, Marge. We'll let the Sky Finger play with the PolyVac. That'll keep its juvenile mind busy so I can think without him tapping me all the time. Task: Make Stephen Hawking Think Without Getting Tapped by the Sky Finger (8h, PolyVac) Task: Make Evil Homer Scheme (4h, PolyVac) System Message This story will continue in the second act. For now, keep playing with the PolyVac; get more cool "treasures"! Quest reward: 100 and 10

SciFi Campaign

After the user logs in on August 22nd, after the server update: System Message Our sincere thanks for playing Tapped Out! Here is our gift - free donuts!!! Quest reward: 15