E Pluribus Wiggum/Quotes
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- Bart: The Constitution? I'm pretty sure the Patriot Act killed it to ensure our freedoms
- [An alarming amount of presidential hopefuls descend on the Simpson house when they see that the Simpsons haven't decided who to vote for yet.]
- Homer: If you haven't sprung from or aren't married to my loins, get the hell out of this house! [All the candidates leave, except for someone hiding behind a plant.] You too, Fred Thompson!
- Fred Thompson: But I was in Die Hard.
- Homer: [Scoffs] Die Hard Two!
- [Homer tries to convince Springfield to rebuild the "Fast-Food District."]
- Homer: I don't know about you, but I don't want to live in a future where food is brought by "waiters..." where the chairs aren't attached to the tables... and where I can't ditch my kids in a pit of dirty balls.
- Moe: Who wants to abolish democracy forever? Show of hands.
- Carl: I could really go for some kind of military thing like, uh, Juan Perón. When he disappeared ya, you stayed disappeared.
- Lenny: Plus his wife was Madonna.
- [Kent Brockman reports on the Springfield presidential primary.]
- Kent Brockman: With Springfield's primary now first in the nation, our humble city is overrun with candidates, newshounds, spin doctors, hacks, flacks, Russerts, Blitzers and even the occasional voter. [to Moe] Sir, do have a preference?
- Moe: Yeah, I like girls, fruit loop.
- Kent Brockman: Oh. Are you a registered voter?
- Moe: I'm a registered... something.
- Nelson: [To a Washington Post reporter.] Haw-haw! Your medium is dying!
- Principal Skinner: Nelson!
- Nelson: But it is.
- Principal Skinner: There's being right and there's being nice.
- Marge: This election is on every channel.
- Homer: Come on, Marge. It's primary fever. Catch it!
- Marge: That's what you said about yellow fever, and that was no fun.
- [Homer spots a trash can while leaving Krusty Burger.]
- Homer: [Gasps] A drive-up trash can. This must be how the rich toss out their gold
- [On the phone.]
- Marge: I'm just really worried about your weight. Bart says that we got a call from NASA, and your gravity is pulling satellites out of their orbit.
- Homer: Marge, that was a joke.
- Marge: But it comes from a true place.
