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Difference between revisions of "Cold as Charity"
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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| | {{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Eyeroll}} | | {{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Eyeroll}} |
| | {{TB|That's gravity...}} | | {{TB|That's gravity...}} |
| − | {{THT|{{Task|Collect Calculators|155}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Quimby Keep Saying "Inflation"|4 hours|the [[Town Hall]], [[Springfield County Court House]], [[International Court of Justice]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[Quimby]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Homer Pretend He Understands Inflation|4 hours||the [[Town Hall]], [[Springfield County Court House]], [[International Court of Justice]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}}}|colspan=2}} | + | {{THT|{{Task|Collect Calculators|155}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Quimby Keep Saying "Inflation"|4 hours|the [[Town Hall]], [[Springfield County Court House]], [[International Court of Justice]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}|char=[[Quimby]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Homer Pretend He Understands Inflation|4 hours|the [[Town Hall]], [[Springfield County Court House]], [[International Court of Justice]], or a {{TOG|Home Visitable|Visitable Home}}}}|colspan=2}} |
| | {{Tapped Out Quimby Icon|Happy}} | | {{Tapped Out Quimby Icon|Happy}} |
| | {{TB|Don't worry! In order to avoid any conflicts of interest, we'll only be awarding city contracts to nonprofit organizations.}} | | {{TB|Don't worry! In order to avoid any conflicts of interest, we'll only be awarding city contracts to nonprofit organizations.}} |
Latest revision as of 17:56, August 12, 2024
| Cold as Charity
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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Cold as Charity is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Charity Case content update.
Dialogue[edit]
| After completing Reading the Room
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Rest assured that all your concerns regarding privatization went in one ear—
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And out the other?
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What? No. We don't have the money for two ears! Are you insane?
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Didn't you vote to give yourself a raise this year?
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That's because of, eh, inflation.
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Oh yes, inflation. Money that comes up, must come down.
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That's gravity...
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Task: "Collect Calculators" (x155).
If Quimby is owned: Task: "Make Quimby Keep Saying "Inflation"". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Springfield County Court House, International Court of Justice, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Homer Pretend He Understands Inflation". The job takes place at the Town Hall, Springfield County Court House, International Court of Justice, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
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Don't worry! In order to avoid any conflicts of interest, we'll only be awarding city contracts to nonprofit organizations.
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That sounds okay. I like charity.
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As do I! For example, the majority of my money goes to my foundation to raise unawareness.
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You mean awareness?
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No...we prefer people fat, stupid and unaware.
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Woo-Hoo!
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
Blue Bail Bonds
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| After completing Pt. 1.
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I don't get this privatization play. What's in it for the rich?
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Can't you just believe in the good of people? Artie Ziff gave the whole town free Wi-Fi. It's so fast the pop-up ads are bulging out of the screen.
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Huh, well, that's good, I guess.
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Ziffcorp? Why isn't my homepage the donut shop livestream like it always is?
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Ah-ha! I knew there was an angle. Artie Ziff is using the free Wi-Fi for free advertising.
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All I'm hearing is a lot of free. And nothing free in life is bad!
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That's not how the saying goes.
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Not according to the Ziffternet.
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Ziffternet! Show me donuts!
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Task: "Collect Calculators" (x155).
Task: "Make Homer Yell at the Computer". The job takes place at the Simpson House or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Lisa Start to Investigate". The job takes place at the Simpson House or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
If Bart is owned: Task: "Make Bart Deep Dive Misinformation". The job takes place at the Simpson House or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
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Congratulations, sir. You've been awarded the city's contract for providing all the electricity to the streetlights.
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Excellent. Converting the plant to a nonprofit has been very profitable.
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You could make even more profit if you brighten those streetlights causing them to require more power.
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Excellent idea, Smithers.
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Perhaps that excellent idea warrants me a raise?
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We're a nonprofit, Smithers! We do this work out of the goodness of our souls. Now ready the tax-free cocktail shrimp bath.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
Blue Check Cashing
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| After completing Pt. 2.
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Marge, giant groundhogs have tunneled under the roads at regular intervals. I think that means nuclear winter is upon us.
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Those aren't groundhog tunnels. Those are speed bumps. They've installed thousands of them in town.
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WHAT?! But that will make my commute to Moe's even longer.
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You mean work.
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I said what I said.
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According to city documents, the Rich Texan is now in charge of all road maintenance.
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Kids, get in the car. We have an oil man to harass.
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But what about school?
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Lisa! Dad wants us to participate in the democratic process of complaining. Isn't that life lesson more important than school?
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Too many life lessons and not enough real lessons is how you end up at Barnard.
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Task: "Collect Calculators" (x115).
Task: "Make Homer Drive to The Rich Texan's House". The job takes place at Blue Bail Bonds, Blue Check Cashing, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Lisa Fret About Missing School". The job takes place at Blue Bail Bonds, Blue Check Cashing, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
If Bart is owned: Task: "Make Bart Partake in the Democratic Complaint Process". The job takes place at Blue Bail Bonds, Blue Check Cashing, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
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Hey! Guy with the ten-gallon hat and twenty gallon squishee, where did you get that squishee?
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Dad...
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AND what's the deal with all the speed bumps!?!
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You mean my battery busters! Aren't they great?
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Battery busters?
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Electric cars. The scourge of every honest hardworking oilman!
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If people stop driving real cars, then my oil will only be good for making plastic bags, medical equipment, and clothing! I'll be ruined!
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This way he can stop progress by slowing down traffic. It's a win-win.
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Except for the planet.
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That's what space exploration is for! Yee Haw!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
Lisa M. Simpson Foundation Rocket
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| After completing Pt. 3.
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These nonprofits aren't helping people! They are just another way for the rich to exploit the working man!
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Well, two can play at that game — I'll reopen the Lisa M. Simpson Foundation and give them a taste of their own medicine.
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You're going to socialize medicine?!?
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I'm only eight, Dr. Hibbert. All I can do is run a semi-functional government.
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You don't need the hootinest, tootinest, best darn accountant this side of the Mississippi, do ya?
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Who's the best on the other side of the Mississippi?
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Stan Liebowitz.
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Don't you work for the Rich Texan though? Won't that be a conflict of interest?
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Technically, but I switched out my non-compete clause with a non-complete clause. As long as I never finish anything, I'm free to work on anything.
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Will you finish my work though?
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Let me circle back to that...
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Task: "Collect Calculators" (x155).
Task: "Make Lisa Re-open Her Nonprofit" (xthe Simpson House or a Visitable Home). The job takes 4 hours.
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First things first—
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Rubber band lasso contest?
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I was going to say repurpose the Lisa M. Simpson Foundation to start winning Springfield's contracts.
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Sorry, I forgot who I was working for for a moment. You and the Rich Texan are so similar.
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How exactly?
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Well, you're both my bosses. Speaking of bosses, we'll need you in endless meetings that could have been emails.
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But I have a book report due for class.
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Could you make it a PowerPoint instead?
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
Lisa M. Simpson Foundation
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| After completing Pt. 4.
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I've lined up some celebratory bottles to shoot because I've got some good news!
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You got your bosses mixed up again. I'm the precocious girl, not the scheming oil baron.
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Man, I'm good with numbers but not with faces!
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We can recycle the bottles as a form of celebration. What's the good news?
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I won you all the contracts — the streetlights, the public Wi-Fi, the road maintenance.
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All of them? So fast? I'm starting to realize that I actually have no idea how to do any of this.
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Unearned confidence? Maybe you and a 70-year-old white man aren't so different after all!
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Gee. I think I'm gonna have a panic attack. I can't run all these city departments.
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Sounds like you need to hire a CEO.
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Task: "Collect Calculators" (x195).
Task: "Make Lisa Breathe Into a Paper Bag". The job takes place at Lisa M. Simpson Foundation, Blue Bail Bonds, Blue Check Cashing, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
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Thank you, townspeople, for coming to this meeting.
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We were told there would be snacks!
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I think you're mistaken. I'm here to publicly elect the new CEO of the Lisa M. Simpson Foundation because it's currently running all of our city contracts.
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This is putting the power back with the people.
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And the people want snacks!
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I would like to nominate my wonderful accountant as CEO. He's the one who secured these contracts to begin with.
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What snacks did you bring?
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I'm afraid I already ate my secret jerky supply out of nervousness.
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I would like to nominate myself for CEO of this foundation with the promise of always bringing snacks. Both salty AND sweet!
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He's got my vote!
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Mine too!
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He didn't even bring the snacks. It's just an empty promise.
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Empty like my stomach! We vote Quimby!
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*sigh* I don't know why I was expecting anything different.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
Cowboy Accountant
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Currency-earning jobs[edit]
| Task
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Character(s)
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Time
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Location(s)
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Reward
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| Collect Calculators
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Homer, Bart, Lisa, Marge, Grampa, Wiggum, Moe, Quimby
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4h
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Duff Stadium, Basketball Stadium, Springfield Hyperstadium, Springfield Coliseum, or Brown House
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 5, 45
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| Buddha Homer, Investo the Robot
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Honest John's Computers, Mapple Store, Try-N-Save, or Brown House
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8, 70
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