Difference between revisions of "Treehouse of Horror VII/Quotes"

Revision as of 11:18, December 25, 2018

[Talking to Lisa in "The Genesis Tub"]

Bart: Hey what is this goo? Are you trying to build a friend?

[From "The Genesis Tub"]

Principal Skinner: This mini universe you've created is even more impressive then Martin's milk carton ukulele.

[Shot of Martin in the background in a grass skirt playing the ukulele.]

[From "The Thing and I"]

Dr. Hibbert: That means the evil twin is and always has been...Bart.

[They all turn around and stare at Bart.]

Bart: Oh, don't look so shocked.

Kodos: (as Clinton) We must go forward, not backward. Upward, not forward. And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.

Kodos: It's a two party system! You have to vote for one of us!

Man: He's right, this is a two-party system.

Man 2: Well, I believe I'll vote for a third-party candidate.

Kang: Go ahead, throw your vote away.

Homer: Ah… The old fishin' hole. So peaceful and relaxing, doesn't even matter if I catch a single fish… come on, you stupid fish! Take the bait! Don't make me come down there!!!

Leader: Welcome to our world, most gracious Lisa.

Lisa: Your world is incredible. And you speak English.

Leader: We have listened to you speak since the dawn of time, O Creator. And we have learned to imatoot you exarktly.

Homer: We think we saw Hugo at the airport; he was boarding a plane to Switzerland and… (sees Hugo) Oh.

Lisa: What's up there?

Bart: Is it a monster?

Lisa: We have to know.

Bart: Tell us what's the secret.

Homer: No more questions. I work my butt off to feed you four kids and all you do is--

[Marge stares at Homer.]

Homer: What?

Marge: Three, we have three children!

Homer: Yeah, three nosy kids. And you know what happens to nosy kids who ask too many questions?

Bart/Lisa: (talking quickly) No, what? Does something happen? Does something happen to nosy kids who ask questions? What happens?

Kent: Senator Dole, why should people vote for you instead of President Clinton?

Kang: (as Dole) It makes no difference which one of us you vote for. Either way, your planet is doomed. DOOMED!

Kent: Well, a refreshingly frank response there from senator Bob Dole.

Homer: Oh my God, space aliens! Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids! Eat them!

Bart: Your micro-jerks attacked me!

Lisa: Well, you practically destroyed their whole world.

Bart: You can't protect them every second. Sooner or later, you'll let your guard down, and then flush! It's toilet time for Tinytown!

Lisa: Oh my God! I've created life!

Marge: (from downstairs) Lisa, breakfast! We're having waffles!

Lisa: Ooh, waffles.

Bart: You're crazy!

Hugo: Am I? Well, perhaps we're all a little crazy. I know I am. I went mad after they tore us apart, but I'll be sane… once I sew us back together.

Bart: But you'll kill both of us.

Hugo: No, it's easy. Look, I've been practicing: I made a pigeon-rat.

Bart: Did you guys hear something moving around in the attic last night?

Homer: Attic? Oh, that's silly. Seriously though, don't ever go up there.

Kang: (as Dole) Fooling these Earth voters is easier than expected.

Kodos: (as Clinton) Yes. All they want to hear are bland pleasantries embellished by an occasional saxophone solo or infant kiss.

Kang: (as Bob Dole) Abortions for all!

[Crowd boos]

Kang: Very well, no abortions for anyone!

[Crowd boos again]

Kang: Hmm... Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!

[Crowd cheers and waves miniature flags.]

Homer: Oh, no! Aliens, bio-duplication, nude conspiracies! Oh my God! Lyndon LaRouche was right!

Homer: (Gulps) I suppose you want to probe me. Well, might as well get it over with. (Starts to unzip his pants)

Kang: Stop! We have reached the limits of what rectal probing can teach us.

Lisa: Wait, one of them is nailing something to the door of the cathedral. (Gasps) I've created Lutherans!

Lisa: Science has already proven the dangers of smoking, alcohol, and Chinese food. But I can still ruin soft drinks for everyone!

Homer: We'll search out every place a sick twisted solitary misfit might run to.

Lisa: I'll start with Radio Shack.

Dr. Hibbert: But what to do with poor Hugo? Too crazy for Boys Town, too much of a boy for Crazy Town. The child was an outcast. So, we did the only humane thing.

Homer: We chained Hugo up in the attic like an animal and fed him a bucket of fish heads once a week.

Marge: It's saved our marriage.

Lisa: (Upon waking up and seeing her tooth.) Mold! That's science project paydirt!

[From The Thing and I]

Dr. Hibbert: You never forget the birth of Siamese twins!

Lisa: I believe they prefer to be called "Conjoined twins."

Dr. Hibbert: And hillbillies want to be called "Sons of the Soil," but it ain't gonna happen. (Laughs)

Kodos: (as Clinton) I am Clin-ton. As overlord, all will kneel trembling before me and obey my brutal command. End communication. (crosses arms)

Homer: What are you spraying me with?

Kang: Rum! So no one will believe your story.

Clinton Aide: (closely resembling George Stephanopoulos) People are becoming a bit confused by the way you and your opponent are… well… constantly holding hands.

Kang: (as Dole) We are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I'd like to hear it.

Marge: (on phone, gravely) Yes, Doctor, it's what we've always feared -- it's loose. Hugo is loose. (cheerfully) See you soon!

Bob Dole: (captive on the alien saucer) I am so mad at the Secret Service right now.

[From "The Genesis Tub"]

Lisa: Oh, great. I'm stuck in this lousy tub for the rest of my life.

[People stare at her]

Lisa: Shouldn't you people be groveling?

[Everyone starts groveling]

Lisa: And bring me some shoes. Nice ones.

Man: She'll want socks, too. I'll get socks.

Homer: Don't blame me. I voted for Kodos.