Difference between revisions of "Old Money/Quotes"
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Bart's Dog Gets an "F"|Brush with Greatness}} | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Bart's Dog Gets an "F"|Brush with Greatness}} | ||
| − | :'''Grampa''': Out of my way, I got a date with an angel. | + | :'''[[Abraham Simpson|Grampa]]''': Out of my way, I got a date with an angel. |
| − | :'''Jasper''': You don't know how right you are, Abe. | + | :'''[[Jasper]]''': You don't know how right you are, Abe. |
:'''Grampa''': What? | :'''Grampa''': What? | ||
:'''Jasper''': I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but Bea passed away last night. | :'''Jasper''': I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but Bea passed away last night. | ||
| Line 9: | Line 9: | ||
:'''Grampa''': No, Jasper. They may say she died from a burst ventricle, but I know she died of a broken heart. | :'''Grampa''': No, Jasper. They may say she died from a burst ventricle, but I know she died of a broken heart. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Bea''': So, um, (Clears throat) tell me about yourself. | + | :'''[[Beatrice Simmons|Bea]]''': So, um, (Clears throat) tell me about yourself. |
:'''Grampa''': Uh, widower, one son, one working kidney. And you? | :'''Grampa''': Uh, widower, one son, one working kidney. And you? | ||
:'''Bea''': Widowed, bad hip and liver disorder. | :'''Bea''': Widowed, bad hip and liver disorder. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Homer''': ''[ordering from a [[Krusty Burger]] drive thru]'' A double cheeseburger, onion rings, large strawberry shake, and, for God's sakes, hurry! | + | :'''[[Homer Simpson|Homer]]''': ''[ordering from a [[Krusty Burger]] drive thru]'' A double cheeseburger, onion rings, large strawberry shake, and, for God's sakes, hurry! |
---- | ---- | ||
:'''Grampa''': Oh, Lisa, what makes you think you deserve all that money? | :'''Grampa''': Oh, Lisa, what makes you think you deserve all that money? | ||
| − | :'''Lisa''': I don’t deserve it, Grampa. No one here does. The people who deserve it are on the streets, and they're in the slums. They're little children who need more library books and families who can't make ends meet. Of course, if you really wanted to, you could buy me a pony. | + | :'''[[Lisa Simpson|Lisa]]''': I don’t deserve it, Grampa. No one here does. The people who deserve it are on the streets, and they're in the slums. They're little children who need more library books and families who can't make ends meet. Of course, if you really wanted to, you could buy me a pony. |
:'''Grampa''': You're right! | :'''Grampa''': You're right! | ||
:'''Lisa''': I'll name her Princess, and I'll ride her every day! | :'''Lisa''': I'll name her Princess, and I'll ride her every day! | ||
| Line 35: | Line 35: | ||
---- | ---- | ||
(Grampa mourns Bea alone in his room.) | (Grampa mourns Bea alone in his room.) | ||
| − | :'''Lionel Hutz''': It was a beautiful service, wasn’t it, Mr. Simpson? | + | :'''[[Lionel Hutz]]''': It was a beautiful service, wasn’t it, Mr. Simpson? |
:'''Grampa''': (Yells) Who the hell are you? | :'''Grampa''': (Yells) Who the hell are you? | ||
:'''Lionel Hutz''': Lionel Hutz, attorney-at-law! I’m the executor of Beatrice Simmons’ estate. Mr. Simpson, Bea was a wealthy woman and, surprise, surprise, she left everything to you. | :'''Lionel Hutz''': Lionel Hutz, attorney-at-law! I’m the executor of Beatrice Simmons’ estate. Mr. Simpson, Bea was a wealthy woman and, surprise, surprise, she left everything to you. | ||
| Line 52: | Line 52: | ||
:'''Grampa''': (Disappointed) Oh, well, if you’ve got plans already-- | :'''Grampa''': (Disappointed) Oh, well, if you’ve got plans already-- | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Bart''': Ya know, Grampa kinda smells like that trunk in the garage where the bottom's all wet. | + | :'''[[Bart Simpson|Bart]]''': Ya know, Grampa kinda smells like that trunk in the garage where the bottom's all wet. |
:'''Lisa''': Nuh-uh. He smells more like a photo lab. | :'''Lisa''': Nuh-uh. He smells more like a photo lab. | ||
:'''Homer''': Stop it, both of you! Grampa smells like a regular old man, which is more like a hallway in a hospital. | :'''Homer''': Stop it, both of you! Grampa smells like a regular old man, which is more like a hallway in a hospital. | ||
| − | :'''Marge''': Homer, that’s terrible! We should be teaching the children to treasure the elderly. You know, we’ll be old someday. | + | :'''[[Marge Simpson|Marge]]''': Homer, that’s terrible! We should be teaching the children to treasure the elderly. You know, we’ll be old someday. |
:'''Homer''': (Gasps) My God, you're right, Marge! You kids won’t put me in a home like I did to my dad, would ya? | :'''Homer''': (Gasps) My God, you're right, Marge! You kids won’t put me in a home like I did to my dad, would ya? | ||
:'''Bart''': Well… | :'''Bart''': Well… | ||
Revision as of 14:56, September 3, 2014
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- Grampa: Out of my way, I got a date with an angel.
- Jasper: You don't know how right you are, Abe.
- Grampa: What?
- Jasper: I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but Bea passed away last night.
- Grampa: Oh no.
- Jasper: It was her ticker. The doctor said her left ventricle burst.
- Grampa: No, Jasper. They may say she died from a burst ventricle, but I know she died of a broken heart.
- Bea: So, um, (Clears throat) tell me about yourself.
- Grampa: Uh, widower, one son, one working kidney. And you?
- Bea: Widowed, bad hip and liver disorder.
- Homer: [ordering from a Krusty Burger drive thru] A double cheeseburger, onion rings, large strawberry shake, and, for God's sakes, hurry!
- Grampa: Oh, Lisa, what makes you think you deserve all that money?
- Lisa: I don’t deserve it, Grampa. No one here does. The people who deserve it are on the streets, and they're in the slums. They're little children who need more library books and families who can't make ends meet. Of course, if you really wanted to, you could buy me a pony.
- Grampa: You're right!
- Lisa: I'll name her Princess, and I'll ride her every day!
(Grampa comes home and forgives Homer.)
- Homer: Dad?
- Grampa: Sonny boy!
(The two hug.)
- Grampa: Is there room at your table for a foolish old man?
- Homer: Well, sure! Eh, we'll have to move a chair in from the den. But it's no problem. Bart!
(Grampa rides a roller coaster alone.)
- Grampa: I miss Bea.
(Bea’s ghost appears in the seat next to Grampa.)
- Bea: I miss you too.
- Grampa: (Screams in fright)
- Bea: Oh, Abraham, calm down. I'm not here to scare you. They've got me haunting a family in Texas.
(Grampa mourns Bea alone in his room.)
- Lionel Hutz: It was a beautiful service, wasn’t it, Mr. Simpson?
- Grampa: (Yells) Who the hell are you?
- Lionel Hutz: Lionel Hutz, attorney-at-law! I’m the executor of Beatrice Simmons’ estate. Mr. Simpson, Bea was a wealthy woman and, surprise, surprise, she left everything to you.
- Grampa: Really?
- Lionel Hutz: There is one catch. You must spend one night in…a haunted house!
- Grampa: (Gasps)
- Lionel Hutz: (Chuckles) Just kidding, just kidding.
(At Bea’s funeral.)
- Homer: I can't tell you how sorry I am, Dad.
- Grampa: (Sarcastically) Is someone talking to me? I didn't hear anything.
- Homer: Oh no! Dad's lost his hearing!
- Grampa: Eh, what are you, uh, doing tonight?
- Bea: Sitting alone in my room.
- Grampa: (Disappointed) Oh, well, if you’ve got plans already--
- Bart: Ya know, Grampa kinda smells like that trunk in the garage where the bottom's all wet.
- Lisa: Nuh-uh. He smells more like a photo lab.
- Homer: Stop it, both of you! Grampa smells like a regular old man, which is more like a hallway in a hospital.
- Marge: Homer, that’s terrible! We should be teaching the children to treasure the elderly. You know, we’ll be old someday.
- Homer: (Gasps) My God, you're right, Marge! You kids won’t put me in a home like I did to my dad, would ya?
- Bart: Well…
- Homer: (Screams) Marge, what do we do!?
(At the casino)
- Grampa: Put it all on 41. (To Homer) I've got a feeling about that number.
- Roulette Operator: The wheel only goes to 36, sir.
- Grampa: Okay, put it all on 36! (To Homer) I've got a feeling about that number.
