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Difference between revisions of "High School Low"
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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| | |characters = [[Chalmers]], [[Quimby]], [[Willie]], [[Legs]], [[Louie]] | | |characters = [[Chalmers]], [[Quimby]], [[Willie]], [[Legs]], [[Louie]] |
| | |optional = | | |optional = |
| − | |previous = {{TOQP|"SKINNERRR?!"|4}} | + | |previous = {{TOQP|"SKINNERRRR?!"|4}} |
| | |next = | | |next = |
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Revision as of 11:37, May 11, 2024
| High School Low
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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High School Low is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Level 34 content update.
Dialogue
Pt. 1
| After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark
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Look at this! The improved test scores have earned me a citation from Town Hall, "in recognition of exemplary performance."
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You did all the work, Skinner, and I got all the credit! It's every bureaucrat's dream!
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And it's every toadying lickspittle's dream to make his boss's dream come true! Congratulations!
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| Task: "Make Chalmers Visit Town Hall". The task takes place at the Town Hall and takes 8 hours.
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
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Pt. 2
| After tapping on Quimby's exclamation mark
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In recognition of your fine work turning around Springfield Elementary, Superintendent Chalmers, you are hereby promoted to Intendent of Springfield High School.
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Thank you, Mr. Mayor. Two questions: one, how is going from "Superintendent" to "Intendent" a promotion; and two, are you aware that Intendent is a made-up word?
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I oughta be, I made it up!
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It means a "principal," but where the town doesn't have the money to hire a principal because of widespread corruption that is in no way the mayor's fault.
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I got into education because I wanted to cut art budgets, not have contact with children! I won't last a day!
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| Task: "Make Chalmers Intend Springfield High School". The task takes place at Springfield High School and takes 12 hours.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 3
| After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark
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Great Scot, Skinner! I had no idea the students of today had grown so soft. They're like pampered veal calves, but with an even less promising future.
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Heads always buried in their smart phones and tablets... What could they possibly be doing?
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They generally use them to play time-wasting, potential-draining "freemium" video games.
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Or at least they did until that fateful day when the game they were playing asked them how old they were, and they all had to stop.
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I won't stand for it! I'm going to turn these kids into rugged, won't-take-no-for-an-answer individualists if it kills me!
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We'll start with mandatory, 5:00 AM calisthenics!
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| Tasks: "Build the All Night Gym" and "Make Chalmers Lead Calisthenics". The task takes place at All Night Gym and takes 4 hours.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 4
| After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark
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Participation in my morning calisthenics program is at 0%.
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Look on the bright side. That's a lot higher than any of us expected sir.
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"Any of us" being people educated in Springfield public schools, who due to years of poor math instruction, don't understand how percentages work.
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I've got to think of something. I always do my best thinking when I'm in the wilderness, honing my manly skills by surviving off the land.
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| Tasks: "Place a Camp Fire" and "Make Chalmers Survive Off the Land". The task takes place at a Camp Fire and takes 24 hours.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 5
| After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark
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Did you realize, Seymour, that physical education in this school includes classes in "Badminton" and "Golf?"
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No wonder these children are blobs of goo.
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The kids do enjoy badminton. They get to say "shuttlecock" a lot.
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You're not supposed to enjoy sports
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Sports should push you to the brink of death, leave you utterly spent, heaving desperate gasps between blood-speckled coughs, asking yourself "Why, God, why am I so weak?"
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From now on, the only sport here is Greco-Roman wrestling! And matches don't stop until both students are crying!
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| Task: "Make Chalmers Intend Springfield High School". The task takes place at Springfield High School and takes 12 hours.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 6
| After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark
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Starting today, all Springfield High School students will participate in the following classes:
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Leadership, Mountaineering, Rough-Riding, Big Game Hunting, Celestial Navigation...
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...Tourniquet Making, Foraging, Trust Busting, Manliness...
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...Orienteering, Bare-Knuckle Brawling, Big Game Hunting II: Perspectives in Taxidermy, Chivalry...
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...American Expansionism, Knife Sharpening, Knife Making, Knife Throwing, and Deep Jungle Exploration.
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If you have any questions, keep them to yourselves. That is all!
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| Task: "Make Chalmers Intend Springfield High School". The task takes place at Springfield High School and takes 12 hours.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 7
| After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark
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Groundskeeper Willie! I wonder if you'd have time to build a caber-toss field at Springfield High.
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But the noble Scottish sport of caber tossing was banned in Springfield years ago, on account of its being incredibly hazardous and generally pointless.
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We're bringing it back!
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I'll not send a single student off to college who isn't adept at heaving a tree trunk end-over-end so that it lands as close to a "twelve o'clock" position as possible.
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It would be un-American to do so!
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I think I'm going to cry...
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| Task: "Make Willie Build a Caber Toss Field". The task takes place at Springfield High School and takes 4 hours.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 8
| After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark
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Corpulent Anthony!
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Yes?
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My students are cowards!
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I want you to send some of your toughest enforcers into my school, and push them around until they learn to stand up for themselves.
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You're welcome to keep any lunch money that the weaker ones fork over.
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What a shockingly wrong-headed educational initiative. However, no grown-up bully can say "no" to lunch money.
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| Tasks: "Make Legs Intimidate Students" and "Make Louie Intimidate Students". The tasks take place at Springfield High School and take 24 hours.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 9
| After tapping on Chalmers' exclamation mark
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I've done it. I've molded these blubber-wrapped vidiots into capable young Americans.
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Who are shockingly ignorant of literature, but still.
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I think I should reward myself with a little "me time."
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| Task: "Make Chalmers Lead Calisthenics". The task takes place at All Night Gym and takes 4 hours.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 10
| After tapping on Chalmers's exclamation mark
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I've got another invitation to Town Hall. Wonder what it could be for this time?
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Maybe they've got a special commendation for me!
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| Task: "Make Chalmers Visit Town Hall". The task takes place at the Town Hall and takes 8 hours.
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You idiot! You've transformed this town's kids into self-reliant, confident individualists. What do you have to say for yourself?
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Uh... you're welcome?
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No! You don't get it, do you?
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Do you think I've allowed this town's schools to fall apart by accident? That I didn't INTEND for every class to receive a poorer education than the one before?
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But why would you do that?
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Because stupid people vote for incumbents!
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You start churning out free thinkers, me and every other incumbent in this declining country is doomed! THEN where will we all be?
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You are hereby demoted from Intendent to Superintendent. Now get out of my sight!
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 11
| After tapping on Chalmers's exclamation mark
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I've failed. And relegated the children of Springfield to a life of ignorance and laziness.
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It's times like this when the only thing that can cheer me up is partaking in an activity that is a playful pun on my beloved catchphrase.
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| Tasks: "Place a Minnow Pond" and "Make Chalmers Catch Some "DINNERRRR?!"". The task take place at a Minnow Pond and takes 8 hours.
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| Quest reward: 2,500 and 250
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