• Wikisimpsons needs more Featured Article, Picture, Quote, Episode and Comprehensive article nominations!
  • Wikisimpsons has a Discord server! Click here for your invite! Join to talk about the wiki, Simpsons and Tapped Out news, or just to talk to other users.
  • Make an account! It's easy, free, and your work on the wiki can be attributed to you.
TwitterFacebookDiscord

Difference between revisions of "The Joy of Sect/Quotes"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
m (top: replaced: }} → }})
m (top)
 
(3 intermediate revisions by 2 users not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
{{TabQ|gags=yes}}
+
{{TabQ}}
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Bart Carny|Das Bus}}
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Bart Carny|Das Bus}}
  
:[''Homer and Bart arrive at the [[Springfield International Airport]].'']
+
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Thanks for lettin' me skip school to see the team come back from the championship, Dad.
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Thanks for letting me skip school to see the team come back from the championship, dad!
+
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} I always say, a boy can learn more at an airport than he can at any school.
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} I always say, a boy can learn more at an airport than he can in any school.
 
 
----
 
----
:''[Homer and Bart continue their walk through the airport. They pass some religious people.]''
+
{{qf|{{ap|Jane|The Joy of Sect}}}} We're having a free get-acquainted session at our resort this weekend.
{{qf|Hare Krishna}} Have you heard of Krishna Consciousness?
+
{{qf|Homer}} How much is this free resort weekend?
{{qf|Homer}} This, Bart, is a crazy man!
+
{{qf|[[Glen]]}} It's free.
:''[They move on.]''
+
{{qf|Homer}} And when is this weekend?
{{qf|[[Scott Christian]]}} Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
+
{{qf|Glen}} It's this weekend.
{{qf|Homer}} ''[sarcastic]'' Right, that'll work.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Uh huh. And how much does it cost?
:''[They move on.]''
+
{{qf|Glen}} Um, it's free.
{{qf|Woman}} A new and better life awaits you on our distant home planet, [[Blisstonia]].
+
{{qf|Homer}} I see. And when is it?
{{qf|Homer}} Hmmm, makes sense!
+
{{qf|Glen}} It's this weekend.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} And what are you charging for this free weekend?
 
----
 
----
:[Hans Moleman enters "[[Just Crichton and King Bookstore]]".]
+
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} But what if they try to talk us into something?
{{qf|[[Hans Moleman]]}} Do you have anything by {{w|Robert Ludlum}}?
+
{{qf|Homer}} Marge, Marge, Marge. Remember when those smooth-talking guys tried to sell me a time-share vacation condo?
{{qf|Clerk}} ''[sinister]'' Get out.
+
{{qf|Marge}} You bought four of them. Thank God the check bounced.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} So, I beat the system.
 
----
 
----
{{qf|Homer}} Homer no function beer well without.
+
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Watch yourself, Dad. You're the highly suggestible type.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Yes. I am the highly suggestible type.
 
----
 
----
{{qf|Homer}} Out of my way, Jerk Ass!
+
{{qf|Jane}} It certainly is a beautiful day. We should thank the Leader.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Who the hell is that? Some kind of leader?
 
----
 
----
{{qf|Bart}} Nobody can brainwash Bart Simpson. Nothing that I can't handle.
+
{{qf|Glen}} Beer is not allowed.
:''[Movementarian pulls out a briefcase labeled "Lil' Bastard Brainwash" and Bart enters a room. He reappears a few seconds later.]''
+
{{qf|Homer}} Homer no function beer well without.
{{qf|Bart}} I love [[The Leader]].
+
{{qf|Jane}} Would you rather have beer or complete and utter contentment?
----
+
{{qf|Homer}} What kind of beer?
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} When we got married, you promised me my harvesting days were over.
 
----
 
{{qf|Sect Mover}} Your family will be housed here for the first 100,000 years, then something might open up in a double.
 
{{qf|Homer}} Why even unpack?
 
----
 
{{qf|Homer}} Marge, when I join an underground cult I expect a little support from my family.
 
----
 
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Dad, do you think you might have been brainwashed?
 
{{qf|Homer Simpson}} I have not been brainwashed! Kill the girl.
 
----
 
{{qf|Lisa}} Watch yourself, Dad - you're the highly suggestible type.
 
{{qf|Homer}} Yes, I am the highly suggestible type.
 
 
----
 
----
{{qf|Bart}} Church, cult, cult, church. So we'll get bored someplace else every Sunday. Does this really change our everyday lives?
+
{{qf|Homer}} Wait - I'm confused about the movie. So the cops knew that internal affairs was setting them up?
 +
{{qf|Glen}} What are you talking about? There's nothing like that in there.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Well, you see, when I get bored, I make up my own movie. I have a very short attention span
 
----
 
----
:''[Lovejoy begins to spill gasoline all over the church.]''
+
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Springfield has been overrun by a strange and almost certainly evil sect calling themselves the Movementarians. In exchange for your home and all your money, the Leader of this "way-out" and wrong religion, claims he'll take believers away on his spaceship to the planet Blisstonia. Excuse my editorial laugh. But... ''[gets news]'' Ladies and gentlemen, I've just learned of a change in this station's management. Welcome, Movementarians! Continue to improve our lives! I love you, Perfect Leader. And new C.E.O. of K-B-B-O broadcasting!
{{qf|[[Reverend Lovejoy]]}} I never thought I'd have to do ''this'' again.
 
 
----
 
----
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} This new so-called religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Now let's say the Lord's Prayer 40 times, but first let's pass the collection plate.
+
{{qf|Homer}} See, Marge? Our lives are so much better now
 +
{{qf|Glen}} ''[over P.A.]'' You two! Stop talking and resume the lima bean harvest!
 +
{{qf|Marge}} When we got married, you promised me my harvesting days were over.
 
----
 
----
:''[The Leader drives past in a Rolls-Royce.]''
+
{{qf|Marge}} Now, how are we going to get my Homie back?
{{qf|Lisa}} We toil in the fields and he drives around in a Rolls-Royce?
+
{{qf|[[Groundskeeper Willie]]}} I'll kidnap him for fifty. De-program him for a hundred. And I'll kill him for five hundred.
{{qf|Homer}} Yes, it would be nice if he'd buy American, but what are you going to do?
+
{{qf|Marge}} No, no, no. Just the first two.
 +
{{qf|Willie}} All right. I'll throw in the killin' for free.
 
----
 
----
{{qf|Lisa}} It's great that we can all think for ourselves again.
+
{{qf|Marge}} All right, already! But do you love the Leader more than having your very own, brand new—Hoverbikes? What do you have to say about the Leader now? Hunh? Hunh?
:''[Family returns to watching TV.]''
+
{{qf|Bart and Lisa}} The hell with him! What Leader? He can take a flying leap as far as I'm concerned! Lea-who?
{{qf|[[FOX]] Announcer}} You are watching FOX.
+
{{qf|Marge}} And who do you love now?
{{qf|Family}} ''[Robotically]'' We are watching FOX.
+
{{qf|Bart and Lisa}} Hoverbikes!!
  
 
{{Season 9|Q}}
 
{{Season 9|Q}}
 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Joy of Sect/Quotes}}
 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Joy of Sect/Quotes}}

Latest revision as of 15:57, April 3, 2024


Season 9 Episode Quotes
190 "Bart Carny"
191
"The Joy of Sect"
"Das Bus" 192


Bart: Thanks for lettin' me skip school to see the team come back from the championship, Dad.
Homer: I always say, a boy can learn more at an airport than he can at any school.

Jane: We're having a free get-acquainted session at our resort this weekend.
Homer: How much is this free resort weekend?
Glen: It's free.
Homer: And when is this weekend?
Glen: It's this weekend.
Homer: Uh huh. And how much does it cost?
Glen: Um, it's free.
Homer: I see. And when is it?
Glen: It's this weekend.
Homer: And what are you charging for this free weekend?

Marge: But what if they try to talk us into something?
Homer: Marge, Marge, Marge. Remember when those smooth-talking guys tried to sell me a time-share vacation condo?
Marge: You bought four of them. Thank God the check bounced.
Homer: So, I beat the system.

Lisa: Watch yourself, Dad. You're the highly suggestible type.
Homer: Yes. I am the highly suggestible type.

Jane: It certainly is a beautiful day. We should thank the Leader.
Homer: Who the hell is that? Some kind of leader?

Glen: Beer is not allowed.
Homer: Homer no function beer well without.
Jane: Would you rather have beer or complete and utter contentment?
Homer: What kind of beer?

Homer: Wait - I'm confused about the movie. So the cops knew that internal affairs was setting them up?
Glen: What are you talking about? There's nothing like that in there.
Homer: Well, you see, when I get bored, I make up my own movie. I have a very short attention span

Kent Brockman: Springfield has been overrun by a strange and almost certainly evil sect calling themselves the Movementarians. In exchange for your home and all your money, the Leader of this "way-out" and wrong religion, claims he'll take believers away on his spaceship to the planet Blisstonia. Excuse my editorial laugh. But... [gets news] Ladies and gentlemen, I've just learned of a change in this station's management. Welcome, Movementarians! Continue to improve our lives! I love you, Perfect Leader. And new C.E.O. of K-B-B-O broadcasting!

Homer: See, Marge? Our lives are so much better now
Glen: [over P.A.] You two! Stop talking and resume the lima bean harvest!
Marge: When we got married, you promised me my harvesting days were over.

Marge: Now, how are we going to get my Homie back?
Groundskeeper Willie: I'll kidnap him for fifty. De-program him for a hundred. And I'll kill him for five hundred.
Marge: No, no, no. Just the first two.
Willie: All right. I'll throw in the killin' for free.

Marge: All right, already! But do you love the Leader more than having your very own, brand new—Hoverbikes? What do you have to say about the Leader now? Hunh? Hunh?
Bart and Lisa: The hell with him! What Leader? He can take a flying leap as far as I'm concerned! Lea-who?
Marge: And who do you love now?
Bart and Lisa: Hoverbikes!!
Season 9 Quotes
The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson The Principal and the Pauper Lisa's Sax Treehouse of Horror VIII The Cartridge Family Bart Star The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons Lisa the Skeptic Realty Bites Miracle on Evergreen Terrace All Singing, All Dancing Bart Carny The Joy of Sect Das Bus The Last Temptation of Krust Dumbbell Indemnity Lisa the Simpson This Little Wiggy Simpson Tide The Trouble with Trillions Girly Edition Trash of the Titans King of the Hill Lost Our Lisa Natural Born Kissers