Difference between revisions of "Battle of the Brands"

Latest revision as of 16:55, August 19, 2024

Battle of the Brands is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Season Premiere 2016 content update.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After starting the update Ah, the coffee break: the sweet spot between beer breakfast and lager lunch. If you're looking for donuts, forget about it. Burns is on another health kick: all we got is Kombucha and kale. No donuts?! This isn't like health insurance, you can't just take it away! Task: "Make Homer Take a Personal Day". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 3 hours. You left work and came all the way home just for donuts?! Some men climb mountains, some explore the oceans depths; I brave traffic in search of the elusive baker's dozen of delicacies! Oh, for the love of... Just go buy some from the Lard Lad. The tire store? It's a donut store! Really?! No wonder the pink tread on my car tires wore right off. Quest reward: 100 and 10 New Lard Lad

Pt. 2[edit]

After completing Pt. 1 Have I travelled back to a time before giant boys walked the earth?! Where's the Lard Lad statue? Relax, folks. I'm Robert Chan, CEO of Tianjin Mining and Smelting and Donuts. I'm here with the flesh-and-blood Lard Lad to announce that we're sunsetting his likeness and rebranding with something fresh and modern. Isn't "sunsetting" just corporate doublespeak for "killing off?" Makeup on the old mug ain't a bad idea. Maybe I'll do some re-Moe-deling. Youse corporate suits always got good ideas up your sleeves. Someday I'll have sleeves. To commemorate the unveiling of our new icon, we've partnered with local businesses to offer gift cards, redeemable at all Lard Lad locations. As a reviled member of the local business community... I'll pass. Task: "Make Homer Check Mail for Gift Cards". The job takes place at New Lard Lad and takes 3 hours. Task: "Collect Gift Cards" (x12). Quest reward: 100 and 10 Moe's Brewing Co.

Pt. 3[edit]

After completing Pt. 2 Since I'm flush with gift cards, this Prince of Plastic demands four dozen of your finest donuts, please. Sorry sir, all these are only good for one donut. Our prices went up to reflect the ostentatious image of our new brand. What the EpiPen?! A business charging more for the same product? Maybe I should glitz up the Quimby image. A little flash might help detract from all my 'er, many broken promises. If rap culture and the Catholic church have taught us anything, it's that nothing says "classy" like solid gold everything. Task: "Make Homer Buy Gift Cards as Lazy Presents". The job takes place at New Lard Lad and takes 3 hours. Task: "Collect Gift Cards" (x12). Quest reward: 100 and 10 New Lard Lad (tarp)

Pt. 4[edit]

After completing Pt. 3 Must find... alternative donut. Calories dwindling... pants loosening... shirt buttons relaxing... Apu, a dozen donuts, stat! Insert directly into this patient's donut hole Sorry, Mister Homer, but the health inspector was coming, so I donated my old donuts to the food bank. Awwww! The needy get all the breaks! Moe, I normally look to you to get fried but now I need that "fried" to be donuts. Sorry, all I got is a pickled egg with the yolk missin'. Damn rats love my yolks! Let the rats have their yolks. I'll find my own donuts. Task: "Make Homer Search for Donuts". The job takes place at a Kwik-E-Mart and takes 3 hours. Task: "Collect Gift Cards" (x25). Here donut-donut-donut! Come out, come out, wherever you are! Message Tune in to FOX on Sunday 8/7c for the Season Premiere, before unveiling the brand new Lard Lad in the final chapters. Quest reward: 100 and 10 Cinnabun

Pt. 5[edit]

On September 25 and after completing Pt. 4 These new donuts are great! There's "fresh rebranded" flavor in every bite. They're snackable, munchable, swallowable and a bunch of other "ables" that I'll make up later! Damn my voracious donut envy! Gimme one! Sorry sir, the price has gone up again. Just like college tuition, if something is more expensive, it makes people want it more. As a Springfield College grad, I say that's stupid! Now gimme-gimme!! Task: "Make Homer Beg for Gift Cards". The job takes place at New Lard Lad and takes 3 hours. Task: "Collect Gift Cards" (x30). Quest reward: 100 and 10 New Lard Lad Statue

Pt. 6[edit]

After completing Pt. 5 You tore down my image for this?! Someone tell me where the face is on this thing so I can spit in it! It's like a Salvador Dali sculpture gone horribly wrong. The statue may be a melted mess but these new donuts are great. I can feel the dark donut-less cloud lifting from over my head. That's the actual clouds, Dad. Look, the sun is coming out. The Cronenbergian monstrosity has become a thermodynamic weapon! Snell's bells! Refraction claims another victim, with the focused light and the BURNing! Well, this was a bust. At least we managed to drum up business with all the hype. Actually sir, we haven't made a single cent. Everyone's been paying with the free gift cards. Recall those cards before Tianjin Mining and Smelting and Donuts stock plummets and we're bought out! Hellooo... Task: "Collect Gift Cards" (x36). Quest reward: 100 and 10 Springfield Bowl

Currency-earning jobs[edit]

Task Character(s) Time Location(s) Reward Pt. 2 Check Mail for Gift Cards Homer 3h New Lard Lad 1, 35 Hire Cheap Labor Moe Subscribe to a Gift Card Newsletter Lisa Pray for Gift Cards Ned Receive Severance in Gift Cards Laird Ladd 2, 55 Pt. 3 Buy Gift Cards as Lazy Presents Homer 3h New Lard Lad 1, 35 Rebrand as "Solid Gold Joe" Quimby Mint Counterfeit Gift Cards Moe Complete Survey for Gift Cards Lisa Trade Octuplet for Gift Cards Apu Wait Politely in Line for Gift Cards Ned Steal Supply Closet Gift Cards Laird Ladd 2, 55 Pt. 4 Search for Donuts Homer 3h Kwik-E-Mart 1, 35 Markup Gift Cards Apu Shop for Gift Cards Ned Take Bribe Money in Gift Cards Quimby Check Hair for Gift Cards Marge Take Hours to Choose a Gift Card Laird Ladd 2, 55 Pt. 5 Beg for Gift Cards Homer 3h New Lard Lad 1, 35 Arrange Cross-Promotion Apu Check Flyers for Gift Cards Lisa Sell Dignity for Gift Cards Moe Deny Receiving Gift Card Bribe Quimby Buy Gift Cards with Gift Card Cletus Take Pension in Gift Cards Laird Ladd 2, 55 Pt. 6 Riot for Gift Cards Homer 3h Kwik-E-Mart 1, 35 Collect Discarded Gift Cards Lisa Discourage Rioting Ned Liquidate Gift Cards Apu Shred Contract With Robert Chan Quimby Force Down Tianjin Stock Mr. Burns Spitefully Buy Up Gift Cards Laird Ladd 2, 55