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Battle of the Brands

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki


Battle of the Brands
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 5
Update: Season Premiere 2016
Requirement(s): myPad
Required characters: Homer
Optional characters: Moe, Lisa, Ned, Laird Ladd, Quimby, Apu, Marge, Cletus, Mr. Burns

Battle of the Brands is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Season Premiere 2016 content update.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After starting the update
Homer - Dreamy Ah, the coffee break: the sweet spot between beer breakfast and lager lunch.
Lenny If you're looking for donuts, forget about it. Burns is on another health kick: all we got is Kombucha and kale.
Homer - Furious No donuts?! This isn't like health insurance, you can't just take it away!
Task: "Make Homer Take a Personal Day". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 3 hours.
Marge - Serious You left work and came all the way home just for donuts?!
Homer - Dreamy Some men climb mountains, some explore the oceans depths; I brave traffic in search of the elusive baker's dozen of delicacies!
Marge - Annoyed Oh, for the love of... Just go buy some from the Lard Lad.
Homer - Confused The tire store?
Marge It's a donut store!
Homer Really?! No wonder the pink tread on my car tires wore right off.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
New Lard Lad

Pt. 2[edit]

After completing Pt. 1
Homer - Confused Have I travelled back to a time before giant boys walked the earth?! Where's the Lard Lad statue?
Robert Chan Relax, folks. I'm Robert Chan, CEO of Tianjin Mining and Smelting and Donuts. I'm here with the flesh-and-blood Lard Lad to announce that we're sunsetting his likeness and rebranding with something fresh and modern.
Lisa - Nagging Isn't "sunsetting" just corporate doublespeak for "killing off?"
Moe Makeup on the old mug ain't a bad idea. Maybe I'll do some re-Moe-deling. Youse corporate suits always got good ideas up your sleeves.
Moe - Sad Someday I'll have sleeves.
Robert Chan To commemorate the unveiling of our new icon, we've partnered with local businesses to offer gift cards, redeemable at all Lard Lad locations.
Moe As a reviled member of the local business community... I'll pass.
Task: "Make Homer Check Mail for Gift Cards". The job takes place at New Lard Lad and takes 3 hours.
Task: "Collect Gift Cards" (x12).
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Moe's Brewing Co.

Pt. 3[edit]

After completing Pt. 2
Homer - Happy Since I'm flush with gift cards, this Prince of Plastic demands four dozen of your finest donuts, please.
Squeaky Voiced Teen Sorry sir, all these are only good for one donut. Our prices went up to reflect the ostentatious image of our new brand.
Homer - Furious What the EpiPen?! A business charging more for the same product?
Quimby Maybe I should glitz up the Quimby image. A little flash might help detract from all my 'er, many broken promises.
Homer If rap culture and the Catholic church have taught us anything, it's that nothing says "classy" like solid gold everything.
Task: "Make Homer Buy Gift Cards as Lazy Presents". The job takes place at New Lard Lad and takes 3 hours.
Task: "Collect Gift Cards" (x12).
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
New Lard Lad (tarp)

Pt. 4[edit]

After completing Pt. 3
Homer - Sleepy Must find... alternative donut. Calories dwindling... pants loosening... shirt buttons relaxing...
Homer Apu, a dozen donuts, stat! Insert directly into this patient's donut hole
Apu Sorry, Mister Homer, but the health inspector was coming, so I donated my old donuts to the food bank.
Homer - Sad Awwww! The needy get all the breaks!
Homer Moe, I normally look to you to get fried but now I need that "fried" to be donuts.
Moe Sorry, all I got is a pickled egg with the yolk missin'. Damn rats love my yolks!
Homer - Sad Let the rats have their yolks. I'll find my own donuts.
Task: "Make Homer Search for Donuts". The job takes place at a Kwik-E-Mart and takes 3 hours.
Task: "Collect Gift Cards" (x25).
Homer - Scared Here donut-donut-donut! Come out, come out, wherever you are!
Message Tune in to FOX on Sunday 8/7c for the Season Premiere, before unveiling the brand new Lard Lad in the final chapters.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Cinnabun

Pt. 5[edit]

On September 25 and after completing Pt. 4
Lenny These new donuts are great! There's "fresh rebranded" flavor in every bite.
Carl They're snackable, munchable, swallowable and a bunch of other "ables" that I'll make up later!
Homer - Angry Damn my voracious donut envy! Gimme one!
Squeaky Voiced Teen Sorry sir, the price has gone up again. Just like college tuition, if something is more expensive, it makes people want it more.
Homer - Furious As a Springfield College grad, I say that's stupid! Now gimme-gimme!!
Task: "Make Homer Beg for Gift Cards". The job takes place at New Lard Lad and takes 3 hours.
Task: "Collect Gift Cards" (x30).
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
New Lard Lad Statue

Pt. 6[edit]

After completing Pt. 5
Laird Ladd - Surprised You tore down my image for this?! Someone tell me where the face is on this thing so I can spit in it!
Lisa - Alarmed It's like a Salvador Dali sculpture gone horribly wrong.
Homer - Mouth Full The statue may be a melted mess but these new donuts are great. I can feel the dark donut-less cloud lifting from over my head.
Lisa That's the actual clouds, Dad. Look, the sun is coming out.
Sideshow Mel - Surprised The Cronenbergian monstrosity has become a thermodynamic weapon!
Professor Frink Snell's bells! Refraction claims another victim, with the focused light and the BURNing!
Robert Chan - Annoyed Well, this was a bust. At least we managed to drum up business with all the hype.
Squeaky Voiced Teen Actually sir, we haven't made a single cent. Everyone's been paying with the free gift cards.
Robert Chan - Surprised Recall those cards before Tianjin Mining and Smelting and Donuts stock plummets and we're bought out!
Mr. Burns - Diabolical Hellooo...
Task: "Collect Gift Cards" (x36).
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Springfield Bowl

Currency-earning jobs[edit]

Task Character(s) Time Location(s) Reward
Pt. 2
Check Mail for Gift Cards Homer 3h New Lard Lad Gift Card1, XP35
Hire Cheap Labor Moe
Subscribe to a Gift Card Newsletter Lisa
Pray for Gift Cards Ned
Receive Severance in Gift Cards Laird Ladd Gift Card2, XP55
Pt. 3
Buy Gift Cards as Lazy Presents Homer 3h New Lard Lad Gift Card1, XP35
Rebrand as "Solid Gold Joe" Quimby
Mint Counterfeit Gift Cards Moe
Complete Survey for Gift Cards Lisa
Trade Octuplet for Gift Cards Apu
Wait Politely in Line for Gift Cards Ned
Steal Supply Closet Gift Cards Laird Ladd Gift Card2, XP55
Pt. 4
Search for Donuts Homer 3h Kwik-E-Mart Gift Card1, XP35
Markup Gift Cards Apu
Shop for Gift Cards Ned
Take Bribe Money in Gift Cards Quimby
Check Hair for Gift Cards Marge
Take Hours to Choose a Gift Card Laird Ladd Gift Card2, XP55
Pt. 5
Beg for Gift Cards Homer 3h New Lard Lad Gift Card1, XP35
Arrange Cross-Promotion Apu
Check Flyers for Gift Cards Lisa
Sell Dignity for Gift Cards Moe
Deny Receiving Gift Card Bribe Quimby
Buy Gift Cards with Gift Card Cletus
Take Pension in Gift Cards Laird Ladd Gift Card2, XP55
Pt. 6
Riot for Gift Cards Homer 3h Kwik-E-Mart Gift Card1, XP35
Collect Discarded Gift Cards Lisa
Discourage Rioting Ned
Liquidate Gift Cards Apu
Shred Contract With Robert Chan Quimby
Force Down Tianjin Stock Mr. Burns
Spitefully Buy Up Gift Cards Laird Ladd Gift Card2, XP55