Difference between revisions of "Late Show with David Letterman"
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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#Kick-ass inauguration party! Bring a six pack and you're in. | #Kick-ass inauguration party! Bring a six pack and you're in. | ||
#My vice president will be Mayor McCheese. | #My vice president will be Mayor McCheese. | ||
| − | #My middle name isn't Hussein... anymore. | + | #My middle name isn't [[Sadam Hussein|Hussein]]... anymore. |
#I will be the secretary of donuts. | #I will be the secretary of donuts. | ||
#I will appoint a secretary of donuts. | #I will appoint a secretary of donuts. | ||
#I have enormous experience apologizing for failed decisions. | #I have enormous experience apologizing for failed decisions. | ||
| − | #I will take full | + | #I will take full advantage of the free food that comes with the job. |
#Fox News is already on my side. | #Fox News is already on my side. | ||
#With an oval office, I can't bump into anything. | #With an oval office, I can't bump into anything. | ||
#I'm smarter than the last guy. | #I'm smarter than the last guy. | ||
| − | == Things | + | == Things I've learned from the last 20 years of television == |
#Television is not a vast wasteland, it's a cesspool. | #Television is not a vast wasteland, it's a cesspool. | ||
#Ever notice all morning weathermen are as fat as a dump truck? | #Ever notice all morning weathermen are as fat as a dump truck? | ||
| − | #There is no good way to tell | + | #There is no good way to tell your spouse you want to go on ''{{w|Wife Swap}}''. |
#No one on Earth is funnier than {{w|Howie Mandel}}. | #No one on Earth is funnier than {{w|Howie Mandel}}. | ||
#Sitting close to the TV is a cheap alternative to a tanning salon. | #Sitting close to the TV is a cheap alternative to a tanning salon. | ||
| Line 42: | Line 42: | ||
#Better to be bald than have a hairpiece like Letterman. | #Better to be bald than have a hairpiece like Letterman. | ||
| − | == Reasons I, Homer Simpson, am proud to be an | + | == Reasons I, Homer Simpson, am proud to be an American == |
Aired November 8, 2012. | Aired November 8, 2012. | ||
| − | # We're the first country to leave trash on the Moon | + | #We're the first country to leave trash on the Moon. |
| − | # Even a dumb guy can have his own show, right Dave? | + | #Even a dumb guy can have his own show, right Dave? |
| − | # Not a nation of blowhard teabags like [[England]] | + | #Not a nation of blowhard teabags like [[England]]. |
| − | # We own [[Hawaii]] | + | #We own [[Hawaii]]. |
| − | # No other country has cars, I assume | + | #No other country has cars, I assume. |
| − | # It's the home of French fries, German chocolate cake, and Korean barbeque | + | #It's the home of French fries, German chocolate cake, and Korean barbeque. |
| − | # Our flag doesn't have any weird stuff on it | + | #Our flag doesn't have any weird stuff on it. |
| − | # America has won every [[Super Bowl]] | + | #America has won every [[Super Bowl]]. |
| − | # Warnings on cups tell you hot things are hot | + | #Warnings on cups tell you hot things are hot. |
| − | # High obesity rates make me feel better about my body | + | #High obesity rates make me feel better about my body. |
=== Outtakes === | === Outtakes === | ||
On November 9th, FOX released some outtakes from the bit. | On November 9th, FOX released some outtakes from the bit. | ||
| − | * Our national religion is no longer voodoo | + | *Our national religion is no longer voodoo. |
| − | * [[Superman]] and [[Batman]] live here | + | *[[Superman]] and [[Batman]] live here. |
| − | * Deep-fried {{w|Snickers}} | + | *Deep-fried {{w|Snickers}}. |
| − | * No law requires me to wear pants | + | *No law requires me to wear pants. |
== External links == | == External links == | ||
Revision as of 21:05, November 10, 2012
|
The contents of this article or section are considered to be non-canon and therefore may not have actually happened or existed. |
Late Show Top Ten List
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Special Information
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Late Show Top Ten List is a regular segment of the television program Late Show with David Letterman where a celebrity reads out a top ten list. Homer Simpson has done three lists, one in 2008, one in 2010 and another in 2012.
Contents
Reasons why I, Homer Simpson, should be the next President
- Kick-ass inauguration party! Bring a six pack and you're in.
- My vice president will be Mayor McCheese.
- My middle name isn't Hussein... anymore.
- I will be the secretary of donuts.
- I will appoint a secretary of donuts.
- I have enormous experience apologizing for failed decisions.
- I will take full advantage of the free food that comes with the job.
- Fox News is already on my side.
- With an oval office, I can't bump into anything.
- I'm smarter than the last guy.
Things I've learned from the last 20 years of television
- Television is not a vast wasteland, it's a cesspool.
- Ever notice all morning weathermen are as fat as a dump truck?
- There is no good way to tell your spouse you want to go on Wife Swap.
- No one on Earth is funnier than Howie Mandel.
- Sitting close to the TV is a cheap alternative to a tanning salon.
- Sadly, Cougar Town, is not a show about people getting attacked by giant cats.
- Widescreen televisions were invented to accommodate Keith Olbermann's enormous head.
- Thanks to iTunes, now you can get free TV shows for just 99 cents.
- Do not buy sushi from the Home Shopping Network.
- Better to be bald than have a hairpiece like Letterman.
Reasons I, Homer Simpson, am proud to be an American
Aired November 8, 2012.
- We're the first country to leave trash on the Moon.
- Even a dumb guy can have his own show, right Dave?
- Not a nation of blowhard teabags like England.
- We own Hawaii.
- No other country has cars, I assume.
- It's the home of French fries, German chocolate cake, and Korean barbeque.
- Our flag doesn't have any weird stuff on it.
- America has won every Super Bowl.
- Warnings on cups tell you hot things are hot.
- High obesity rates make me feel better about my body.
Outtakes
On November 9th, FOX released some outtakes from the bit.
- Our national religion is no longer voodoo.
- Superman and Batman live here.
- Deep-fried Snickers.
- No law requires me to wear pants.
External links
