Grampa & the Kids/Quotes
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- Grampa: Gather round, kids. I'll tell you about the good old days.
- Bart: Oh, man.
- Grampa: You know, when I was your age, I had to walk twenty miles just to get to school. And back then, we didn't have pacifiers. We had to suck on pieces of wood. And in my day, we didn't have TV sets. We used to sit on our grampa's lap all evening and listen politely to his entertaining stories.
- Bart: Was your grampa a liar too?
- Grampa: No, but his lap was awful slippery. [pushes Bart off his lap]
- [Bart is bouncing a ball]
- Grampa: Once upon a time, there was a happy little elf.
- Bart: Can't something bad happen to the elf?
- Grampa: The happy little elf hummed a happy little tune.
- Bart: Oh, come on, man.
- Grampa: But suddenly, the happy little elf STOPPED.
- [the ball Bart bounces goes through the window]
- Lisa: Why did the happy little elf stop?
- Grampa: Because he realized he was actually a clumsy little elf.
- Lisa: You killed Grampa.
- Bart: No way, man. Society killed Grampa.
- Lisa: Face it, Bart. You're doomed.
- Bart: Uh-oh.
- Lisa: Which do you prefer, Bart? The gas chamber? Or the electric chair?
