Bummer Games/Quotes

Quotes

Milhouse Van Houten: Are you still upset about the assignment Mrs. Krabappel gave us to tell the history of the Ancient Olympic Games in a creative way?

Bart: Well, duh! Y'know, at first I thought it'd be fun. Then I found out she was talking about the boring sports tournament... not the awesome video game company responsible for the goriest game ever!

Bart: I'm already getting an "F" in history, and the assignment counts for 50% of my grade, so do the math! No, really, I mean do the math. I'm failing that, too.

Homer: Even though the International Olympic Committee decided not to hold the Games in Springfield, I still think Springy has legs...

Bart: But he only has arms.

Homer: Shut up, boy.

Bart: Grampa, I need your help with a class project.

Grampa: Well, you've come to the right place, Bart! I've got class up the wazoo!

Grampa: Did you know I competed in the Summer Games in Berlin in '36? Got the bronze medal in beer pong! Of course, I was a young black man at the time, so the führer...

Bart: I don't know, Homer... Some of Grampa's answers sounded pretty crazy. Do you think any of its true?

Homer: That stuff happened a long time ago, boy. Who's to say what is and isn't true? I suppose we could spend the next several hours fact-checking, or we could go to Krustyburger for some frosty chocolate milkshakes.

Ralph Wiggum: How did the Olympics get started in the first place? And will the caterpillar in my ear become a butterfly?

Springy: That's half of a good question, Ralph! Here's the answer that springs to mind!

Zeus: (Homer) Dinosaurs! Now that was a good show! Whatever happened to them?

Hera: (Marge) You got bored and threw a meteor at them!

Reverend Lovejoy: So, that's the word from up above! We need to do something great... and fast!

Carl Carlson: Who told you that?

Rev. Lovejoy: I overheard Zeus say it. He's having an affair with my wife!

Springy: The original Olympics Committee (Hercules, Larry King, and the great poet Homer) gathered to decide where to hold the Games!

Poet Homer: Let's just stick to the script, boy! Ahem! I want to know where we should hold the Olympics!

Thor: (Comic Book Guy) [Yawn] Who cares?

Springy: Thor, king of the gods, was unmoved! So was his wife... Wonder Woman!

Wonder Woman: (Edna Krabappel) Harumph! A bunch of grown men prancing around in the buff! They're afraid to let the Amazons compete in their little games!

Homercles: Fine then! if that's how it's gonna be, we would rather compete... in the nude!

Apu: [GASP!]

Lenny Leonard: Homercles, are you sure about this?

Homercles: Trust me. They wouldn't dare call our bluff on competing in the buff!

Mayor Quimby: Due to the bareskinned brotherhood we just witnessed, I have... er, ah... determined that the common man has value. I hereby declare that Greece is now a democracy!

Homercles: Woo-hoo!

Springy: So thanks to a few naked crusaders, we have the right to vote.

Springy: Groundskeeper Willie asks: "Whut en tha wairld di' tha eerly Olympians doo fa spairt?" I have no idea what that means, but here's a look at... All the events in the early Oympics!

Springy: Lisa Simpson asks "How did the tradition of the torch relay get started?"

Lisa: I did not!

Springy: Yes, you did. Now here's your answer!

Ralph: Ding-dong! I'm the statue of limitations!

Poet Homer: Woo-hoo! Bite me, wienies! I got the watchamajigger!

Ralph: That was fun. Now, I'm gonna go lick rocks.

Otto Mann: Whoa! sweet special effect!

Homer: Special effect nothin'! I'm really on fire here! Yeeearrch!

Springy: And so, everytime they hold the Olympic Games, they honor the first torch bearers by having people run around with fire looking for a new city to host the event. This is also why it takes years for them to have an Olympics.

Springy: Barney Gumble asks: "Has bowling ever been an Olympic sporting event?" That's like asking if air is a vegetable... or if the Pope has X-Ray vision!

Lisa: Well, Bart, I posted my video rebuttal on MyTube.

Bart: Oh yeah? How's that going? Getting lots of viewers?

Lisa: So far, only twelve.

Milhouse: Eleven of those were me!