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Bummer Games/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
- Milhouse Van Houten: Are you still upset about the assignment Mrs. Krabappel gave us to tell the history of the Ancient Olympic Games in a creative way?
- Bart: Well, duh! Y'know, at first I thought it'd be fun. Then I found out she was talking about the boring sports tournament... not the awesome video game company responsible for the goriest game ever!
- Bart: I'm already getting an "F" in history, and the assignment counts for 50% of my grade, so do the math! No, really, I mean do the math. I'm failing that, too.
- Homer: Even though the International Olympic Committee decided not to hold the Games in Springfield, I still think Springy has legs...
- Bart: But he only has arms.
- Homer: Shut up, boy.
- Bart: Grampa, I need your help with a class project.
- Grampa: Well, you've come to the right place, Bart! I've got class up the wazoo!
- Grampa: Did you know I competed in the Summer Games in Berlin in '36? Got the bronze medal in beer pong! Of course, I was a young black man at the time, so the führer...
- Bart: I don't know, Homer... Some of Grampa's answers sounded pretty crazy. Do you think any of its true?
- Homer: That stuff happened a long time ago, boy. Who's to say what is and isn't true? I suppose we could spend the next several hours fact-checking, or we could go to Krustyburger for some frosty chocolate milkshakes.
- Ralph Wiggum: How did the Olympics get started in the first place? And will the caterpillar in my ear become a butterfly?
- Springy: That's half of a good question, Ralph! Here's the answer that springs to mind!
- Zeus: (Homer) Dinosaurs! Now that was a good show! Whatever happened to them?
- Hera: (Marge) You got bored and threw a meteor at them!
- Reverend Lovejoy: So, that's the word from up above! We need to do something great... and fast!
- Carl Carlson: Who told you that?
- Rev. Lovejoy: I overheard Zeus say it. He's having an affair with my wife!
- Springy: The original Olympics Committee (Hercules, Larry King, and the great poet Homer) gathered to decide where to hold the Games!
- Poet Homer: Let's just stick to the script, boy! Ahem! I want to know where we should hold the Olympics!
- Thor: (Comic Book Guy) [Yawn] Who cares?
- Springy: Thor, king of the gods, was unmoved! So was his wife... Wonder Woman!
- Wonder Woman: (Edna Krabappel) Harumph! A bunch of grown men prancing around in the buff! They're afraid to let the Amazons compete in their little games!
- Homercles: Fine then! if that's how it's gonna be, we would rather compete... in the nude!
- Apu: [GASP!]
- Lenny Leonard: Homercles, are you sure about this?
- Homercles: Trust me. They wouldn't dare call our bluff on competing in the buff!
- Mayor Quimby: Due to the bareskinned brotherhood we just witnessed, I have... er, ah... determined that the common man has value. I hereby declare that Greece is now a democracy!
- Homercles: Woo-hoo!
- Springy: So thanks to a few naked crusaders, we have the right to vote.
- Springy: Groundskeeper Willie asks: "Whut en tha wairld di' tha eerly Olympians doo fa spairt?" I have no idea what that means, but here's a look at... All the events in the early Oympics!
- Springy: Lisa Simpson asks "How did the tradition of the torch relay get started?"
- Lisa: I did not!
- Springy: Yes, you did. Now here's your answer!
- Ralph: Ding-dong! I'm the statue of limitations!
- Poet Homer: Woo-hoo! Bite me, wienies! I got the watchamajigger!
- Ralph: That was fun. Now, I'm gonna go lick rocks.
- Otto Mann: Whoa! sweet special effect!
- Homer: Special effect nothin'! I'm really on fire here! Yeeearrch!
- Springy: And so, everytime they hold the Olympic Games, they honor the first torch bearers by having people run around with fire looking for a new city to host the event. This is also why it takes years for them to have an Olympics.
- Springy: Barney Gumble asks: "Has bowling ever been an Olympic sporting event?" That's like asking if air is a vegetable... or if the Pope has X-Ray vision!
- Lisa: Well, Bart, I posted my video rebuttal on MyTube.
- Bart: Oh yeah? How's that going? Getting lots of viewers?
- Lisa: So far, only twelve.
- Milhouse: Eleven of those were me!