- For the episode, see The Bart of War.
| Bart of War
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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Bart of War is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Bart Royale content update. It requires General Bart to be obtained.
Dialogue[edit]
| After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark
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Come on, Milhouse. We're late for gym class.
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I don't want to go, Bart.
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My head still stings from dodgeball last week.
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Today is floor hockey. It's a whole different kind of sting.
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Task: "Make Bart Attend Gym Class". The job takes place at Springfield Elementary and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Youngsters Attend Gym Class" (x3). The jobs take place at Springfield Elementary and take 4 hours.
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| After starting the jobs
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This equipment sucks! This hockey stick is a banana taped to a broom handle!
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And the hockey puck smells weird.
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It's yesterday's cafeteria special – stuffed beef biscuit!
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Tell Willie when you're through playin'. He'll warm yer puck up for his dinner.
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| After finishing the tasks
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Skinner, you've gotta give us better hockey equipment!
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Sorry, Simpson. The budget is shot for the year. You'll have to purchase pucks yourself.
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No one tells me to go puck myself! This means war!
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
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| After tapping on General Bart's exclamation mark
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First, I'm going to need to do some reconnaissance.
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I know teachers, and I know they always spend school funds on something for themselves.
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I just need to sniff it out.
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| Task: "Make General Bart Conduct Commando Raid". The job takes place at Springfield Elementary and takes 8 hours.
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A new cappuccino maker, a 4k TV, and a massage chair!?
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hey're blowing the whole school budget on teachers' lounge junk!
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on General Bart's exclamation mark
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Milhouse, get the division together.
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Okay, but there aren't many boys around... jock itch outbreak.
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Tough times demand tough decisions -- you'll have to get the girls, too.
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I have a hard time talking to girls.
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Imagine they're boys who smell good and tell them all to meet at the front of the school.
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Task: "Make General Bart Rally the Troops". The job takes place at Springfield Elementary and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Milhouse Recruit Kids". The job takes place at Springfield Elementary and takes 4 hours.
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Fellow students! I stand before you today not as the cowabunga kid... but as a reluctant soldier fighting the corruption of our wannabe educators!
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And what is their lesson? Look out for yourself, at the expense of those you are responsible for.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on General Bart's exclamation mark
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Alpha Unit, flood the gym. Bravo, egg the teachers' cars. Charlie, set off the sprinklers in the teachers' lounge.
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Milhouse, you're with me.
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Yes! What unit are we?
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The nuclear unit.
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| Task: "Make General Bart Go to War". The job takes place at Springfield Elementary and takes 8 hours.
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| After starting the jobs
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All the junk you destroyed is covered by insurance, Simpson. You're only helping us get new things.
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Then you leave me no choice... Milhouse, time to go nuclear!
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*whines* Mommy! I got a boo-boo from gym class!
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And the gym floor ate my shorts!
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What? Not your trademark blue shorts?! I'll be taking this to the highest level!
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| After finishing the task
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SKIN-NNNER! Why am I being barraged with calls from parents bellyaching about the gym?
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Sir, it's difficult to maintain a proper environment for a physical education class.
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I noticed a lot of new contraptions in your teachers' lounge. Trade those in for new dodgeballs, football flags, or whatever these parents are griping about. I'll not have them interrupting my golf day.
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Yes, sir.
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Kids beat grown-ups once again! The battle is won, but the war of youth continues!
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| Quest reward: 200 and 20
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Behind the Laughter[edit]
The quest name is a reference to the book The Art of War by Sun Tzu. It was also referenced in the episode title "The Bart of War".
