Bad Boys... for Life?/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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"Bad Boys... for Life?"
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- Jerry Seinfeld: This is a 1908 first edition Model T, with a 30-inch pneumatic clincher. A top speed of 42 miles per hour, and an outmoded nickel crank. Speaking of outmoded cranks, here's the owner, C. Montgomery Burns.
- Krusty the Clown: Apparently, college kids don't dig my Ho Chi Minnow character anymore. What's not to like? It's a communist fish!
- Lisa: We never watch what I wanna watch.
- Homer: Okay. What do you want to watch?
- Lisa: Oh. I didn't think I'd get my way. So much pressure. Okay. Scanning through 1000 channels and... nothing good.
- Lisa: Mom, maybe you could tell a story about us when we were younger.
- Marge: Um, we've done that a few times. Not sure what stories are left. Maggie's first tooth, Grampa's last tooth, the time Homer thought he invented stuffed crust pizza.
- Homer: I did invent it. I'm the Thomas Edison of stuffing things with cheese.
- Bart: Including yourself.
- Young Lisa: This story is terrifying.
- Younger Homer: Okay, fine. We'll read a totally not scary book about two lost children about to be eaten by a witch.
- Lisa: I still have nightmares about that frog. Thanks a lot, Bart.
- Bart: Hey, my life was great before you came along.
- Lisa: I didn't ask to be born.
- Bart: Yes, you did.
- Lisa: No, I didn't.
- Bart: Did, did, did.
- Homer: Kids, kids, you're both unwanted.
- Grampa: Saying Homer was occasionally inconsiderate is like saying Shamu is sometimes a whale. Did you know there were nine different Shamus? I'd rank 'em this way six, five, two, three...
- Marge: We're not ranking Shamus again.
- Grampa: I'll just conclude by saying, a whale in captivity just lasts a week. It's a good week. Except for the last two hours.
- Younger Marge: Listen, buster, if you don't bond with him soon, we're gonna have problems.
- Younger Homer: Whenever you call me buster, it means something is really bad.
- Younger Marge: That's right, mister.
- Younger Homer: Mister is worse than buster.
- Younger Homer: It's so hard being a good father. How did people raise kids before duct tape?
- Leonard Stern: Let's take a look at Bart's file. Let's see. Loading, loading. Loading. Oh, my God. He's attacking his grandfather.
- Younger Marge: That's his father.
- Leonard Stern: He's aged that poor man that much?
- Younger Marge: Okay, okay. When they show up, we just have to convince them we're nice and normal. Nice and normal. Oh, we're doomed.
- Chief Wiggum: Word on the street is it's free donut day.
- Raphael: I'm afraid you've been misinformed.
- Chief Wiggum: Well, is it free coffee with purchase?
- Raphael: I'm afraid not.
- Chief Wiggum: Well, you're coming downtown to where I live, to teach my wife how to make donuts. Let's go.
- Younger Grampa: Myrna, Myrna, why did you leave me?
- Young Homer: Dad, It's been ten years, and her name is Mona.
- Younger Grampa: Don't you tell me how to grieve.
