Bart 'N' Frink/Quotes
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- Bart: Why does a game store feel like detention?
- Lisa: Modern board games aren't about fun. They're about economics and math. You know, fun! Whoo-hoo!
- Martin Prince: Bartholomew! A little help, please! We've been epic-fantasy roleplaying for six hours. If you'll sit in for me, I need to fill the porcelain chalice.
- Bart: Only you could make peeing sound lame.
- Bart: I attack!
- Squeaky-Voiced Teen: You idiot! You're gonna get us all killed!
- Bart: So long as I get Martin's guy killed.
- Professor Frink: Great Sheldon's ghost. It can't be. It... Well, it's un-Frinkable.
- Comic Book Guy: The lethal "eggsplosion" pierces the wizard's defenses. And Mythagoras the Bold falls. He's dead.
- Professor Frink: I've been with Mythagoras for 20 years. He's my oldest friend. Why? Why? Why? [starts crying]
- Lisa: Bart, you got Frink's character killed! You made a grown-up cry!
- Bart: Uh... Don't tell Mom about this, okay?
- Lisa: Oh, Bart, how could you even think I wouldn't?
- Bart: I'm sorry I pulled a Leeroy Jenkins and got Mythagoras perma-deathed.
- Bart: Ow! This slime just shocked me!
- Professor Frink: Oh, did it explain why? It is supposed to.
- Professor Frink: Rambunctious child. Yes. Would you accept the position of a lab assistant?
- Bart: Will I get to tangle with forces I can't possibly understand and scream, "My God, what have I done?"
- Professor Frink: At least once a day.
- Bart: I'm in.
- Bart: Dude, I'm never going to college. I'm dumb.
- Professor Frink: "Dumb"? Well, that is the worst thing you can call yourself. You take that back!
- Bart: What? I am dumb. It's fine. Dumb guys can do lots of cool stuff. It's always a dumb guy who wins the lottery.
- Professor Frink: You're not dumb.
- Bart: Everybody knows I am.
- Professor Frink: Oh, yeah? Well, I don't.
- Bart: Am too. Am too. Am too.
- Professor Frink: Are not. Are not.
- Professor Frink: Are not. Are not. Are not, not, not, not, not. I would not be friends with you if you were the D word.
- Professor Frink: The invitation does say family is welcome. And as an impossibly literal person, I assume that means that I can bring all of you.
- Peter Linz: John, welcome to my humble abode. Well, not exactly humble, and I only abode here four days a year, and the actual owner is an offshore trust controlled by nominee directors, but you know.
- Lisa: You want me to try to squeeze a scholarship out of a tech bro? Don't I have a college fund?
- Homer: We spent that on long-term parking for this trip.
- Bart: What kind of billionaire chooses money over friendship?
- Homer: Say, how many of these will get me unpleasantly drunk, and may I have twice that many?
- Johnson Bryans: None of the drinks this weekend will have alcohol. Alcohol is a deadly poison.
- Homer: And it's poison o'clock somewhere, am I right?
- Bart: Are you nuts, showing him your new invention? He stole your Susan idea and made billions off it.
- Professor Frink: Making money is for businessmen. You and I are scientists.
- Bart: You should be a mad scientist. You need to get angry at that jerk.
- Bart: That's it, Professor! You're losing it!
- Professor Frink: Now, what do I do with this... with this rage?
- Bart: Meh, nothing. It's just how you're supposed to feel.
- Professor Frink: Why? Now my whole life just feels like a cruel joke.
- Professor Frink: "Wimp"? All this from the boy who calls himself dumb so he never has to try?
- Bart: What?
- Professor Frink: You're afraid that if people knew that you were smart, then you'd actually have to apply yourself and you might fail. So it's much safer to call yourself dumb.
- Bart: How could you say that? I am dumb.
- Professor Frink: Bad news, kid. You're smart, and that's all you'll ever be.
- Bart: Stupid Frink calls me smart? I'll stick my hoyvin so far up his fluhpudnik he'll be tasting gaheivin-moyven for weeks.
- Lisa: Obviously the blood you tested wasn't my dad's.
- Homer: I tried to give blood, but none would come out, so I used Bart's.
- Lisa: Ha! You hear that? My ten-year-old brother is biologically 26. Welcome to the Simpsons' lifestyle. Prepare to die. But also if any of you want to pay for my college, that would be really great!
- Komodo dragon: I send you greetings from the Komodo dragon species. For millennia, we have attempted to communicate our message of peace through the language of dance. An effort that proved futile due to our splayed inflexible hips, which, unlike those of your South American chanteuse Shakira, do nothing but lie. [laughs] Now, at last, we can share with you our poetry, our medical breakthroughs, and our deep understanding of the mathematics that underlie reality. But first, are you going to eat that boy? Because if you’re not, I would sure like to. Or we could split him, how do you say, splitties? Yummy, yummy boy.
