Difference between revisions of "Bye, Bye, Nerdie/Quotes"
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Hungry, Hungry Homer|Simpson Safari}} | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Hungry, Hungry Homer|Simpson Safari}} | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Marge]]}} Ah! Homer, you're still here? You should have left for work an hour ago. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} They said if I come in late for work again, I'm fired. I can't take that chance. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} ''[to Bart and Lisa]'' And kids you're gonna miss you [[school bus]]. ''[looks at the window and gasps the school bus is only two blocks]'' It's only two blocks away! | |
| − | :'''[[ | + | :''[Marge grabs Bart and Lisa and brushes them both their teeth.]'' |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Bart]]}} We're gonna spit. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} You can spit on the bus. ''[changes their pajamas into their outfits while going down stairs Lisa is wearing Bart's clothes and Bart is wearing Lisa's clothes]'' | |
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Uh, mom? ''[holding Lisa's skirt]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} ''[to Bart]'' Not now Lisa. ''[grabs them both]'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} Stop! Stop! | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Otto]]}} Oh, you wanna drag? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} ''[gasps]'' Hrmmm. I'm not racing! It's me, Marge Simpson! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Otto}} No, you eat my dust! | |
| − | |||
| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Terri]]}} Red hair? | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Sherri]]}} What's she trying to pull? | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Janey]]}} Those shoes look [[Canada|Canadian]]. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Boy with orthodontic headgear}} She'll never fit in. | |
| + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Oh, it's tough being the new kid. Someone should go talk to her. | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Yeah, somebody should... ''[looking out of window]'' One-hour dry cleaner? Man, that's fast. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Sales lady]]}} ''[as door is be-ing opened]'' Your baby is dead... ''[Marge and Homer gasp]'' ...that's what you'd hear if your baby fell victim to the thousands of death-traps lurking in the average American home. ''[she hands Marge a business card]'' | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} '[[Springfield Baby-Proofing]]'? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} You... you really scared us! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Sales lady}} Sorry about that. But the truth is, your baby [[Maggie Simpson]], is dead... ''[Marge and Homer gasp again]'' ...tired of baby-proofers who don't provide a free estimate. | |
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Sales lady | + | :''[The sales lady puts on a baby bonnet.]'' |
| + | {{qf|Sales lady}} Now, pretend I'm a baby. ''[she starts to crawl around the kitchen floor, making baby noises]'' Goo, goo. Me wike to expwore! | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} ''[to Marge]'' That's a pretty big caboose for a baby. | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} Homer, don't be... wow, that is huge! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Sales lady}} Okay, with the window bars, toilet latches, dingo alarm and grapefruit squirt shield, your total cost would be... wow, I'm rich! | |
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} Why don't you try reaching out to this new girl? See if you two have a common interest. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} Hmm. Well, lots of people like jazz fusion. ''[she pulls out her sax and demonstrates]'' | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} Okay, that's in the maybe file. What if you two bond over your [[Malibu Stacy]] dolls? | |
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} They're not dolls, they're aspiration figures. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} That baby-proofing crook wanted to sell us safety covers for the electrical outlets. But I'll just draw bunny faces on them to scare [[Maggie]] away. ''[he begins to draw]'' | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} She's not afraid of bunnies. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} ''[ominously]'' She ''will'' be. | |
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Now, do you realize how unsafe the American home is? Baby accidents occur every three minutes. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} I'm the one who told you that! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Yeah, but this is me talkin'. Look! I already encased the phone in concrete. | |
| + | {{qf|Marge}} How are you supposed to dial? | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Reach into these holes. I use a carrot. | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} Isn't that a little excessive? I mean, how are the buttons dangerous? | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Baby could order poison! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} Would you bullies be interested in some body guard work? | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Nelson]]}} Oh, this is so funny. We were just talking about moving into protection. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Dolph]]}} We're offering a recess and lunch package that's very affordable. | |
| − | |||
| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Lisa | + | {{qf|Nelson}} Sorry, we don't do girls. They bite and kick and scratch. |
| − | + | {{qf|Dolph}} And sometimes we fall in love. | |
| + | :''[The bullies sigh.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} Wow, there's so much I don't understand about bullying. | ||
| + | {{qf|Nelson}} Yeah, there's a lot of history there. Did you know is predates agriculture? | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} I just don't understand [[Francine]]'s motivation. Why does she only go after the smart ones? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Nelson}} That's like asking the square root of a million... No one will ever know. | |
| − | |||
| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} Willie, I need to see the school security tapes. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Willie]]}} Security tapes? There's no security tapes! | |
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} ''[pointing at a camera]'' It's hard to miss the cameras. | ||
| + | {{qf|Willie}} Aye. Willie's a stinkin' liar. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} Why does the school need to watch us all the time? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Willie}} School? | |
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'' | + | :''[[[Milhouse]], Martin and [[Database]], all shirtless, are exercising on StairMasters.]'' |
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} Come on people! Move it! I want to see some sweat! | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Martin]]}} I'm not mastering another step until you explain the purpose of this monstrous experiment. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} I believe the key to bully-nerd antagonism lies in your drippings. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Martin}} Then I shall drip like a pot roast. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} Excellent. Now don't mind the squeegee. ''[she scrapes sweat off of Martin's body]'' | |
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Principal Skinner]]}} Thank you, Drederick Tatum. That was truly a K.O. - Knockout Oration. Heh. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Edna Krabappel]]}} ''[flirting]'' Need a ride home? | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Drederick Tatum]]}} You really don't want that. Trust me. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} Mr. Tatum, do you mind if I swab you with this damp rag? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Drederick Tatum}} No, not at all. Swab away. | |
| − | + | :''[Lisa pulls out a beaker and starts pouring something onto the rag.]'' | |
| + | {{qf|Drederick}} Whoa, whoa! Nobody mentioned a beaker. | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} Please? It's for science. | ||
| + | {{qf|Drederick}} Oh, for science! In that case, proceed. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Scientist}} The Problem? UFOs! ''[holds up a fake UFO on a string]'' The solution? This! ''[cuts string]'' | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} That's quite an act to follow, Lisa. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} ''[stepping onto stage]'' I know, and the crowd is so distinguished. The inventor of the walkie-talkie is out there. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} ''[stepping after Lisa]'' Where? | |
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} Third row, near the aisle. | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} ''[gasps]'' Ooh, you're right. And that's not his wife. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} But why do the bullies prey on the brainy? Is it jealousy? ''[the scientists murmur assent]'' No! The reason is chemical. ''[the scientists murmur disagreement]'' | |
| + | {{qf|Male researcher}} Tha-that's impossible! Chemicals are our friends. | ||
| + | {{qf|Dr. [[C. Everett Koop]]}} She's a witch! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} I have isolated the chemical which is emitted by every geek, dork and four-eyes. I call is '[[Poindextrose]]'. | |
| − | + | ---- | |
| − | + | :''[When Lisa shows off her Bully repellent.]'' | |
| − | + | {{qf|Scientist}} The little girl's invented some kind of bully repellent! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} ''[holding up an atomizer]'' Actually, it's just ordinary salad dressing. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} So that's where that went. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} The pungent vinegar and tangy Roquefort blocked the smell receptors, rendering the bully harmless. | |
| − | :''' | + | {{qf|Homer}} So all her bullying was just to get some attention. |
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} No, Dad! Didn't you listen to anything I said? | |
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Just to get some attention. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :''[Lisa notices [[Francine]] wearing a nose clip.] | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} That time she looked right at me and didn't touch me. Hmm. ''[gasps]'' Of course. The nose clip. Hey, Willie.I think I'm onto something. Check this out. ''[Francine enters the room and slowly approaches her]'' Not talking, eh, Willie? Just listen then. I think I figured out what sets off that big ape Francine. Willie? Willie? ''[grabs Lisa]'' Whoa! ''[Francine punches Lisa in the stomach and face and she is crying out and faints and Willie gives a thumbs up at the camera]'' | ||
{{Season 12|Q}} | {{Season 12|Q}} | ||
Latest revision as of 11:51, April 19, 2019
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- Marge: Ah! Homer, you're still here? You should have left for work an hour ago.
- Homer: They said if I come in late for work again, I'm fired. I can't take that chance.
- Marge: [to Bart and Lisa] And kids you're gonna miss you school bus. [looks at the window and gasps the school bus is only two blocks] It's only two blocks away!
- [Marge grabs Bart and Lisa and brushes them both their teeth.]
- Bart: We're gonna spit.
- Marge: You can spit on the bus. [changes their pajamas into their outfits while going down stairs Lisa is wearing Bart's clothes and Bart is wearing Lisa's clothes]
- Bart: Uh, mom? [holding Lisa's skirt]
- Marge: [to Bart] Not now Lisa. [grabs them both]
- Marge: Stop! Stop!
- Otto: Oh, you wanna drag?
- Marge: [gasps] Hrmmm. I'm not racing! It's me, Marge Simpson!
- Otto: No, you eat my dust!
- Terri: Red hair?
- Sherri: What's she trying to pull?
- Janey: Those shoes look Canadian.
- Boy with orthodontic headgear: She'll never fit in.
- Lisa: Oh, it's tough being the new kid. Someone should go talk to her.
- Bart: Yeah, somebody should... [looking out of window] One-hour dry cleaner? Man, that's fast.
- Sales lady: [as door is be-ing opened] Your baby is dead... [Marge and Homer gasp] ...that's what you'd hear if your baby fell victim to the thousands of death-traps lurking in the average American home. [she hands Marge a business card]
- Marge: 'Springfield Baby-Proofing'?
- Homer: You... you really scared us!
- Sales lady: Sorry about that. But the truth is, your baby Maggie Simpson, is dead... [Marge and Homer gasp again] ...tired of baby-proofers who don't provide a free estimate.
- [The sales lady puts on a baby bonnet.]
- Sales lady: Now, pretend I'm a baby. [she starts to crawl around the kitchen floor, making baby noises] Goo, goo. Me wike to expwore!
- Homer: [to Marge] That's a pretty big caboose for a baby.
- Marge: Homer, don't be... wow, that is huge!
- Sales lady: Okay, with the window bars, toilet latches, dingo alarm and grapefruit squirt shield, your total cost would be... wow, I'm rich!
- Marge: Why don't you try reaching out to this new girl? See if you two have a common interest.
- Lisa: Hmm. Well, lots of people like jazz fusion. [she pulls out her sax and demonstrates]
- Marge: Okay, that's in the maybe file. What if you two bond over your Malibu Stacy dolls?
- Lisa: They're not dolls, they're aspiration figures.
- Homer: That baby-proofing crook wanted to sell us safety covers for the electrical outlets. But I'll just draw bunny faces on them to scare Maggie away. [he begins to draw]
- Marge: She's not afraid of bunnies.
- Homer: [ominously] She will be.
- Homer: Now, do you realize how unsafe the American home is? Baby accidents occur every three minutes.
- Marge: I'm the one who told you that!
- Homer: Yeah, but this is me talkin'. Look! I already encased the phone in concrete.
- Marge: How are you supposed to dial?
- Homer: Reach into these holes. I use a carrot.
- Marge: Isn't that a little excessive? I mean, how are the buttons dangerous?
- Homer: Baby could order poison!
- Lisa: Would you bullies be interested in some body guard work?
- Nelson: Oh, this is so funny. We were just talking about moving into protection.
- Dolph: We're offering a recess and lunch package that's very affordable.
- Nelson: Sorry, we don't do girls. They bite and kick and scratch.
- Dolph: And sometimes we fall in love.
- [The bullies sigh.]
- Lisa: Wow, there's so much I don't understand about bullying.
- Nelson: Yeah, there's a lot of history there. Did you know is predates agriculture?
- Lisa: I just don't understand Francine's motivation. Why does she only go after the smart ones?
- Nelson: That's like asking the square root of a million... No one will ever know.
- Lisa: Willie, I need to see the school security tapes.
- Willie: Security tapes? There's no security tapes!
- Lisa: [pointing at a camera] It's hard to miss the cameras.
- Willie: Aye. Willie's a stinkin' liar.
- Lisa: Why does the school need to watch us all the time?
- Willie: School?
- [[[Milhouse]], Martin and Database, all shirtless, are exercising on StairMasters.]
- Lisa: Come on people! Move it! I want to see some sweat!
- Martin: I'm not mastering another step until you explain the purpose of this monstrous experiment.
- Lisa: I believe the key to bully-nerd antagonism lies in your drippings.
- Martin: Then I shall drip like a pot roast.
- Lisa: Excellent. Now don't mind the squeegee. [she scrapes sweat off of Martin's body]
- Principal Skinner: Thank you, Drederick Tatum. That was truly a K.O. - Knockout Oration. Heh.
- Edna Krabappel: [flirting] Need a ride home?
- Drederick Tatum: You really don't want that. Trust me.
- Lisa: Mr. Tatum, do you mind if I swab you with this damp rag?
- Drederick Tatum: No, not at all. Swab away.
- [Lisa pulls out a beaker and starts pouring something onto the rag.]
- Drederick: Whoa, whoa! Nobody mentioned a beaker.
- Lisa: Please? It's for science.
- Drederick: Oh, for science! In that case, proceed.
- Scientist: The Problem? UFOs! [holds up a fake UFO on a string] The solution? This! [cuts string]
- Marge: That's quite an act to follow, Lisa.
- Lisa: [stepping onto stage] I know, and the crowd is so distinguished. The inventor of the walkie-talkie is out there.
- Marge: [stepping after Lisa] Where?
- Lisa: Third row, near the aisle.
- Marge: [gasps] Ooh, you're right. And that's not his wife.
- Lisa: But why do the bullies prey on the brainy? Is it jealousy? [the scientists murmur assent] No! The reason is chemical. [the scientists murmur disagreement]
- Male researcher: Tha-that's impossible! Chemicals are our friends.
- Dr. C. Everett Koop: She's a witch!
- Lisa: I have isolated the chemical which is emitted by every geek, dork and four-eyes. I call is 'Poindextrose'.
- [When Lisa shows off her Bully repellent.]
- Scientist: The little girl's invented some kind of bully repellent!
- Lisa: [holding up an atomizer] Actually, it's just ordinary salad dressing.
- Marge: So that's where that went.
- Lisa: The pungent vinegar and tangy Roquefort blocked the smell receptors, rendering the bully harmless.
- Homer: So all her bullying was just to get some attention.
- Lisa: No, Dad! Didn't you listen to anything I said?
- Homer: Just to get some attention.
- [Lisa notices Francine wearing a nose clip.]
- Lisa: That time she looked right at me and didn't touch me. Hmm. [gasps] Of course. The nose clip. Hey, Willie.I think I'm onto something. Check this out. [Francine enters the room and slowly approaches her] Not talking, eh, Willie? Just listen then. I think I figured out what sets off that big ape Francine. Willie? Willie? [grabs Lisa] Whoa! [Francine punches Lisa in the stomach and face and she is crying out and faints and Willie gives a thumbs up at the camera]
