  
Mob Law
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| Mob Law
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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Mob Law is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in The Great Burnsby content update. It requires the Mob Lawyer to be obtained.
Dialogue
Pt. 1
| After tapping on the Mob Lawyer's exclamation mark
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Anthony! What a surprise. I haven't been this surprised since my horoscope said I'd have a peaceful day.
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Good, good. You're here. Just like my espresso in the morning — expected but always a relief. Now, you can help us deal with our little...problem.
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What seems to be the issue? Don't tell me someone forgot to recycle their pizza boxes again.
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It appears that some of our associates have been implicated in some activities that the police tend to look at...unfavorably. Like a cat looks at a new sofa.
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I see. I see. And I'm assuming that these implications are as unfounded as my uncle's claim that he invented the question mark?
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Of course, as always. It's all hearsay, rumors, whispers in the wind. Probably just one of my professional associates attempting to gain an advantage in an upcoming negotiation. You know, like when kids claim they have an "invisible friend" who did the mischief.
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I'm quite sure I didn't just hear that, Anthony. My hearing tends to selectively fade, like my enthusiasm for New Year's resolutions.
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Oh. Yes, yes, of course. You heard nothing.
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Well, I'll just head over to the precinct to make sure everything is in order.
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Yes, you...let me know if you need anything else, will you?
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As always. And remember, Anthony, I'm like a good blender — I can mix things up without leaving any trace.
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| Task: "Make Mob Lawyer Go to the Station". The job takes place at the Police Station, Springfield Penitentiary, Minimum Security Prison, Burns State Prison, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
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Hey, Wiggum? Lawyer is here.
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Great. Right when I was finally figuring out how to turn on my new body cam.
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It's like they made it impossible to turn on intentionally! I mean, it has like fifteen different "OFF" buttons and only one, super-tiny "ON" button.
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Thank you, officers. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to speak with my client in private now, thanks.
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Oh yeah, of course. We've got tons of policing to do right now.
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No, Chief, it's actually pretty quiet today.
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Shh, Lou. I'm trying to make it seem like we're serious cops with a lot on our plates.
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Oh yeah, we're super serious as cops. Ooh, there's a bank robbery happening right now. Let's go to it.
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*whispering* Nicely done.
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Okay, so we're private now. Can we talk freely?
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Are you out of your mind? We're in a police station. We can only talk semi-freely. Just remember: no names.
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Okay, no names.
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How about we go through what happened? We need to untangle this mess like a pair of earbuds in your pocket.
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Your earbuds aren't wireless?
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I'm scared of exposing myself to too much Bluetooth...now, start from the beginning.
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Yeah, sure. Let's...let's do that. But just a heads up, my memory's not what it used to be. I'm more of a 'forget the details, remember the lunch menu' kind of guy.
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
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Pt. 2
| After tapping on the Mob Lawyer's exclamation mark
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And then I left and went home.
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Uh-huh. So you weren't anywhere near the docks?
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Don't answer that. Chief Wiggum, my client has already provided a detailed account of his riveting evening at home, involving a TV dinner and a reality show marathon.
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Yes, but he didn't say he was at the docks.
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Because he wasn't. He's more of a 'stay at home and critique cooking shows' kind of guy.
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But if he wasn't at the docks, then he couldn't have tossed the incriminating evidence into the sea. Unless he has telekinesis, which would be a real game-changer.
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Then since he wasn't at the docks, you clearly have no reason to continue to hold my client, do you? Unless you're starting a book club in the holding cell.
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I guess not. Huh. Lou? Let him go. But make a note: check if telekinesis is real.
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Yes, chief. Come on, Legs. This way. And no, we're not starting a book club.
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Thank you, Chief Wiggum. Your grasp of the law is as firm as a wet noodle.
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You're...you're welcome. I think.
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Thank you—
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Say nothing until we are outside. And even then, maybe just whistle a happy tune.
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Task: "Make Mob Lawyer Leave the Station". The job takes place at the Police Station, Springfield Penitentiary, Minimum Security Prison, Burns State Prison, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
If Legs is owned: Task: "Make Legs Leave the Station". The job takes place at the Police Station, Springfield Penitentiary, Minimum Security Prison, Burns State Prison, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
If Wiggum is owned: Task: "Make Wiggum Wonder What Just Happened". The job takes place at the Police Station, Springfield Penitentiary, Minimum Security Prison, Burns State Prison, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
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All right, Legs. Please repeat your instructions to me once more, just so I'm sure you understand.
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Yeah, I'm...gonna go over to Fat Tony's compound and then stay there for the next two nights.
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And?
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And I'm not going to talk to anyone but you or Fat Tony while I'm there. That means no chatting with the pizza delivery guy, no gossiping with the mailman, and definitely no heart-to-hearts with any parrots that might be eavesdropping.
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Good. Remember, silence is golden, chit-chat is...well, let's just say it's not silver. *phone rings*
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Yes? Thank you for letting me know, I'll be right over. Hopefully, this is just a minor hiccup. Not like last time when it turned out to be more of a burp.
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Should I be worried?
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Worrying is like a rocking chair, Legs. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere. Now scoot, and remember, mum's the word. And in your case, let's hope it's not followed by 'the' and 'word.'
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 3
| After tapping on the Mob Lawyer's exclamation mark
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Yes, Anthony. Yes, I'll handle it.
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Just do me a favor? I'll take our standard precautions, but...please try and ensure that your associates understand their role in all of this. It's like herding cats, but the cats are armed and have questionable morals.
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*hangs up phone* All right. Time to make sure that his "associates" are staying out of trouble. That's like ensuring a fish stays dry, but hey, it's all in a day's work. *turns to associate*
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Remember, we need to be as inconspicuous as a nun in a nightclub. Blend in, don't stand out. Like a zebra in a herd of...well, more zebras.
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Got it. Low profile. Like a politician during a scandal.
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Exactly. We don't need any more surprises. I've had enough to last a lifetime, like finding out your 'all-you-can-eat' buffet has fine print.
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| Task: "Make Mob Lawyer Visit Clients". The job takes 4 hours.
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Anthony, it's time for yet another heart-to-heart.
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Oh? What's stirred the pot this time?
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Your associates turned my day into a circus act. First, they followed me into a vegan bakery — I'm allergic to gluten. Then, they mistook a mime for an informant. And finally, they tried to tail me in a clown car. I mean, subtlety, ever heard of it?
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Oh, that's...unfortunate. I'll make sure they understand the art of discretion better.
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Let's just say I've already given them a primer on 'Covert Operations: The Silent, the Invisible, and the Non-Clownish.' I expect they'll blend in better than a chameleon at a color festival next time.
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I appreciate your...guidance. Anything else to keep the peace?
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Just ensure tonight's operation is smoother than a con artist at a poker game. No more slapstick shenanigans, please.
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Understood. I'll brief them: 'Act like shadows, move like ninjas, and for goodness' sake, leave the clown car at home.'
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As you say.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 4
| After tapping on the Mob Lawyer's exclamation mark
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Fat Tony, so good to see you. What brings you here to my ranch this evening?
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Don Vittorio, I have...a problem.
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Ahh, problems. I can help you with problems. What troubles you?
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It is my lawyer, Don Vittorio. He...troubles me.
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Ahh. Does his tongue move too freely?
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No.
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Ah, then has he not been able to keep the police out of your way?
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I haven't had a problem with the police in weeks.
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Then what troubles you?
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He...scares me, Don Vittorio. Nothing phases him. Nothing.
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Nothing?
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Nothing.
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Task: "Make Mob Lawyer Get a Good Night's Sleep". The job takes 4 hours.
If Fat Tony is owned: Task: "Make Fat Tony Shudder Nervously". The job takes place at Rancho Relaxo, Businessman's Social Club, or Fat Tony's Compound and takes 4 hours.
If Don Vittorio is owned: Task: "Make Don Vittorio Think Deeply". The job takes place at Rancho Relaxo, Businessman's Social Club, or Fat Tony's Compound and takes 4 hours.
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All right, Fat Tony. Here is what you shall do to fix this problem.
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Yes?
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Do whatever he tells you to. And never make him mad.
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That's it?
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That's it. If there is one thing I have learned from my many years...it is that you never, ever cross a lawyer who can scare even you.
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As you say.
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| Quest reward: 200 and 20
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