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The Simpsons: Tapped Out 4th July 2014 content update
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
The Simpsons: Tapped Out's fifty-fifth content update, also known as the 4th July 2014 content update was released on July 2, 2014.
Characters
Buildings
Decorations
Decoration
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Picture
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Requires
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Other
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Lincoln Memorial
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100,000
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Fireworks Barge
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80
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American Flag
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5,600
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Only at 4th July 2014
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Pinwheel Firework
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40
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Only at 4th July 2014
|
Crate of Fireworks
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60
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Only at 4th July 2014
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Ye Olde Cherry Tree
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180
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Unlocks George Washington
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Returning items
Several items from the 4th July's 2013 content update were re-added in the update, for the benefit of the players whom missed the 2013's events.
Characters
Buildings
Decorations
Image
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Name
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Costs
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Liberty Bell
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50,000
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Lisa Statue of Liberty
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75
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Gameplay
Failure to Launch Pt. 1
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Apu, $100 worth of your most illegal poorly-made fireworks, please!
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With federal agent Rex Banner snooping around town, I can no longer play the fireworks game.
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This Independence Day, the only laws I plan on breaking relate to food safety and price gouging.
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The government can't take away our fireworks just because they're illegal!
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Last time I checked, a little document called the U.S. Constitution guaranteed us the right to break any law we want, whenever we feel like it.
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It most explicitly does not.
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Exactly! If we can't buy fireworks, then we'll just have to make them ourselves
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The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 1" which is to "Build Giuseppe's Workshop". It takes 24 hours.
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Failure to Launch Pt. 2
After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
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Guiseppe Granfinali, it's your lucky day. Most characters as minor as you never get to see Springfield again.
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Although that's less and less true all the time.
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Anyway, we want you to build the most ear-rattling, eyeball-bludgeoning, nose-somehow-obliterating fireworks ever made.
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Would it help to have an extra set of hands? I got an “A” in second grade chemistry this year.
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Chemistry? What-a the hell-a is that?
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Wait... you make your living playing with gunpowder all your life, and you have no idea what it's made of?
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Ground-up demon, I always assume.
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Okay, find me some-a books on this "chemistry". Real old and out-of-date, like-a me.
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Finally, a need only a second-rate public school library can fulfill!
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Sixth-rate, actually. We just got our certification as a sixth-rate facility yesterday. We're very proud.
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The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 2" which is to "Build Springfield Elementary", "Make Lisa Read Outdated Chemistry Books", and "Make Giuseppe Stock Up on 'Fertilizer'". It takes 4 hours.
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Failure to Launch Pt. 3
After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
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Mr. Granfinali, are we going to start making the fireworks anytime soon?
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What does it LOOK-a like I'm-a doing?!
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Sitting in a rocking chair having an animated argument with no one at all.
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That's-a how I create my fireworks! I talk it-a over with the ghosts of all-a my brothers.
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Once there were-a fifteen Granfinali boys. Now, only Giuseppe. All the others, gone. Blown up to God.
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Are you sure you want to solicit advice from ghosts that died in fireworks accidents?
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They tell-a Giuseppe what NOT to do. That is, when they are not screaming.
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Apparently, getting-a blown up hurts bad, even after you're dead.
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Very comforting.
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The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 3" which is to "Make Giuseppe Invent a New Firework" and "Make Lisa Mix Dangerous Chemicals". It takes 12 hours.
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Failure to Launch Pt. 4
After tapping on Giuseppe's exclamation mark
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Mama Mia! I just-a got an inspection-a notice from Town Hall.
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When they find-a the ‘works, they gonna take-a them away!
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This time the government has gone too far.
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If I can bring a loaded AR-15 into a nursery school -- and thanks to the patriotism of dedicated nutcases, I can -- why can't I build explosives for pleasure?
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To be fair, fireworks and firearms... they are not-a the same.
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Well, they can both kill people. And THAT means I should be able to do whatever I want with them.
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I'll send out word that the government is trying to stop an honest citizen from playing with gunpowder.
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You watch what happens.
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Oh boy...
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The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 4" which is to "Make Giuseppe Host a Fireworks Support" and "Make Republicans Attend the Fireworks Support Rally (x5)". It takes 2 hours.
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The fireworks... they are-a gone!
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What's happened?!
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While we were demonstrating, somebody broke in and stole-a them.
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All our precious explode-o's, blammers, and fizzle-booms... gone!
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Failure to Launch Pt. 5
After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
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Who would steal fireworks? Think, Lisa!
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Fear not. My family has an ancient, secret method for recovering lost fireworks.
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You see, the firework, she wants to be with others of her kind.
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Uh... that seems unlikely. But go on...
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We use the little firecracker to find-a the big firework.
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Take-a the firecracker. Light-a the firecracker. Throw-a the firecracker.
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Okay...
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If you hear a super-big KA-BOOM!, you have found-a the missing fireworks. If not, move on and-a try again.
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And you say this is an ancient family technique?
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My sisters were the fireworks finders in the family. But they are all dead now.
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Let me guess -- blown up by fireworks?
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Yes. What are the odds?
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I've got my firework finding gear. Let's go!
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The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 5" which is to "Make Giuseppe Search for Stolen Fireworks" and "Make Homer Search for Stolen Fireworks". It takes 24 hours.
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Failure to Launch Pt. 6
After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
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The heck with it. If we don't have explosions and the real possibility of accidental death, the Fourth is ruined.
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I'm just going to go to work.
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Cheer up, Dad. There are a few cans of lighter fluid in the garage.
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We could light those on fire and see what happens!
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That'll make for a great America's Birthday!
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Nah. America stinks. We had a good run, but it's over. It's Ceylon's turn now.
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I hate to see you so down. Tell you what -- start a trash-can fire at work.
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Maybe it'll cause a runaway inferno, and you can salvage what's left of Independence Day.
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Thanks, sweetie. Yeah, work is usually good for an explosion or two.
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Thank God I'm such a lousy safety inspector.
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The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 5" which is to "Build Control Building" and "Make Homer "Safely" do his Job". It takes 16 hours.
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Woo-hoo! Work was great!
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Mr. Burns let me have a whole box of donuts if I promised not to tell anyone that he's been using stolen fireworks for fuel.
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!!!
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I know. It's ridiculous, right? A whole box of donuts just for me...
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Message
|
Oh fine, here's a couple of donuts for you too, but don't you DARE tell anyone, or we'll take them back.
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Failure to Launch Pt. 7
After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
|
|
So! The man behind these mysterious thefts is none other than Mr. Burns!
|
|
The very SAME Mr. Burns who is, without fail, behind absolutely every nefarious act in this town!
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Tell me about it. The whole time I'm thinking, “It's probably Mr. Burns, but we're not really doing THAT story again, are we?"
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And THEN I thought: “Well, if it DOES turn out to be Mr. Burns, for sure don't point out how it's ALWAYS Mr. Burns, because that just makes it seem EVEN WORSE."
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But then YOU pointed it out, so I pointed it out, and now it's all anyone can think about.
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Which is unfortunate.
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Well, if-a Mr. Burns is the bad guy, then I'm-a gonna have words with him right now!
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Ooh -- I love when Italians get mad. They can say a thousand swears with their hands alone!
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Watch and learn, Lis!
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The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 7" which is to "Make Giuseppe Confront Mr. Burns" and "Make Homer Butt into Giuseppe's Business". It takes 6 hours.
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Give-a me back my fireworks, evil skeleton!
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And have them turned into a weapon against me? No, I'm not keen to see rockets exploding on my front porch.
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We don't want to shoot them at you, silly!
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It's the sky we want to blow up. And the sky's no-good friend: clouds.
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I'm not talking about you.
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I simply can't afford to have these fine explodables end up in the hands of my family's mortal enemies.
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Hi, Homer! Hi, Lisa! Hi, Italian person!
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And hello to you, Burnsy. Or should I call you... Dead Man?
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Yes, everyone, it's true. The Spuckler clan and the Burns clan are a-feudin' agin.
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The Burnses have fought the Spucklers down through the generations.
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At times the feud merely simmers. But it always flares anew at the slightest provocation.
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r. Burns! I didn't realize you came from hillbilly stock.
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Oh, I don't.
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A mere three generations ago, the Spucklers were our rivals in Philadelphia high society.
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They were one of the richest, most erudite families in America.
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Ay-yup.
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Then my grand pappy lost his railroad, and pretty soon we's eatin' shoe leather and possum, and findin' we likes the taste!
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Our family fortunes may have diverged, but our hands are so steeped in Spuckler blood, and their hands in ours, that we will never truly live in peace.
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Sad but true. Well, I'm off. Kill ya later, Burns!
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Kill you later, Cletus! Tell Brandine I'll kill her later, too!
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Will do!
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Failure to Launch Pt. 8
After tapping on Giuseppe's exclamation mark
|
|
Well, all is not-a lost. I have a special surprise for you, Lisa.
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You don't mean...
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Yes! We are ready to show-a off our new firework!
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This is so exciting!
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You're-a telling me! I've never fired spent-a nuclear fuel rods into the atmosphere before!
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I wish I didn't know that's what was happening.
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The player receives "Failure to Launch Pt. 8" which is to "Make Giuseppe Show-Off a New Invention". It takes 1 hour.
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Happy Independence Day!
When the player logs in on 4th July 2014
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On this very special day, we'd like to take a few moments to humbly celebrate the greatest nation on earth!
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China! No, wait -- Germany! It's Germany, isn't it? ...Russia? Man this is hard. Greatest nation on earth...
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Sweden?
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Dad, I'm talking about America.
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What, this America? That's nuts -- by almost any measure we've fallen out of the top one-fifty.
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I mean look at education, income equality, percentage of population in prison, access to medical care...
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Dad, not now! You're bumming everyone out. I'm trying to be festive!
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Oh right. Sorry, honey. Go ahead and lie about how good America is. I'll back you all the way.
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*Cough* ... Alright: "To Americans everywhere, Happy Fourth of July!"
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Message
|
Regardless of where you are, enjoy these 5 sweet complimentary donuts!
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Washington Overtime
If the player does not have George Washington on July 16th.
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Aw, I hate when holidays are over. All the Fourth of July stuff is gone.
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Not all of it -- George Washington is still around.
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Oh yeah. I remember we had a hard time getting rid of Abraham Lincoln last year, too.
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Is this guy serious?
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That's funny, because I could have SWORN I'm considered one of the greatest Presidents ever.
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But hey, maybe I'm wrong!
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Maybe having me around is a total drag. That seems to be Homer's opinion, doesn't it?
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No, sir. It's an honor to have you here.
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I didn't catch that? Could you repeat it?
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It's a tremendous honor to have you in Springfield, Mr. One-of-the-Top-Two-Presidents- Ever.
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Yeah. That's what I THOUGHT you said.
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And by the way, you're welcome for AMERICA STILL BEING A COUNTRY.
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Stupid Lincoln.
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Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 1
After tapping on George Washington's exclamation mark
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"Previous to the execution of any official act of the President--"
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WHAT THE? WHERE DID PHILADELPHIA GO? WHAT LAND IS THIS AND WHY IS “QUICKY MART” SPELLED SO ATROCIOUSLY?
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Mr. Washington, you've been brought forward in time to the town of Springfield, in America.
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It seems to happen to ex-Presidents a lot.
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Forward in time? How old is America?
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Two hundred and forty-two years.
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You're kidding me, right? That's a joke? Because I told Jefferson I gave this country a decade. Tops.
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He was all: “Liberty is mankind's natural state!” And I was “Yada yada yada... ten years, chump. Bank on it.”
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Still, it's cool to be wrong! So, tell me about this town.
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Springfield is named after its founder, Jebediah Springfield.
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You would've known him as 'Hans Sprungfeld' in your time.
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SPRUNGFELD?! THAT GUY HAS A TOWN NAMED AFTER HIM? Oh, man. Where is he?
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He's going to be picking wooden teeth out of his neck for a month.
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The player receives "Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 1" which is to "Make Washington Hunt for Jebediah Springfield". It takes 24 hours.
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Okay, so Sprungfeld is dead. Everyone I know is dead. I get it. So now what?
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Professor Frink is trying to find a way to send you home. In the meantime...
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You might find you like it here. Our previous ex-President seems very happy.
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You want to keep it down, please? I can barely hear myself split rails here, people.
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Sheesh. That guy was President?!
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Number sixteen.
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He's so gangly-looking. Doesn't really scream “President,” you know?
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I guess people will elect anything.
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Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 2
After tapping on George Washington's exclamation mark
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You know why America has a bicameral legislature, right?
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Uh... because it's a good way to keep power from consolidating in one body?
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Nope. Because when we were tossing around ideas for a new government-- just brain jamming, you know -- some idiot throws out the term “bicameral legislature.”
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And everybody just latches onto it.
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You know that thing where everyone's trying to sound hip and smart by using the hot new term? So annoying!
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Every time I heard the words, I couldn't decide whether to fall asleep or kill myself.
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Just totally nuts. I voted for the thing just to shut everyone up.
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This is incredible! Our scholars need to know this stuff. You've got to commit your memories to paper.
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Seriously, if I told you all the dirt I've got on John Adams, you'd flip your powdered wig. Dude was MESSED UP.
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The player receives "Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 2" which is to "Make Washington Write a Tell-All". It takes 4 hours.
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Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 3
After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
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I hope you're not finding modern-day America too strange, Mr. Washington.
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Nah.
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It'll always be America, so long as people continue to live free, toss their excrement in the streets, and hate the British.
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Actually England is our closest ally now.
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...
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You want to repeat that, little lady?
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Uh... we've had a lot of time to repair relations...
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“Repair relations”? With a country that is way more powerful than us?
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AND wants nothing more than to make us her colony again?
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Well, first of all, our military is a lot bigger than theirs now.
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Then we should attack immediately, before they have time to raise conscripts!
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Unless, of course, you'd prefer to see musky-carrying redcoats on every street corner in the nation.
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Summon my war council!
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The player receives "Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 3" which is to "Make Washington Plan an Invasion of Britain". It takes 8 hours.
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Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 4
After tapping on George Washington's exclamation mark
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Okay, if our ships leave Boston tomorrow, we can reach England in two months.
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We'll rendezvous with Hessian mercenaries -- little girl, remind me to write a letter to Hessia, get that ball rolling.
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Hessian mercenaries aren't the military force they once were...
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We will then move inland and seize the royal saltpeter mines.
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|
I'd like to see King George try to fight a war without saltpeter. Heh-heh-heh...
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With a combined force of 20,000 we will easily subdue all of England.
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What do you think, Lisa Simpson? An elegant plan, no?
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You really think 20,000 men armed with muskets will do any good against tanks and machine guns and missiles?
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If we have enough horses, yes.
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I also plan on doubling gin rations, to boost morale. A drunk army is an effective army.
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All we need now is the men!
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The player receives "Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 4" which is to "Make Washington Recruit an Army". It takes 24 hours.
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Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 5
After tapping on George Washington's exclamation mark
|
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Okay, I've been traveling door-to-door all day, and so far I've got ZERO recruits for my Grand Army of the Brit-Hating Republic.
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|
What's happened to the England-detesting nation of proud Limey-stranglers I love? Where's our fighting spirit?
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|
Seriously. The English are our friends. Very nice people. Good music.
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And the most annoying thing?
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Everyone's just falling all over themselves to thank me: “You're the Father of Our Country!” “Thank you, George Washington!”
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If you love me so much, get in the boat and help me stick a cannon ball in Big Ben.
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George Washington! Thank you for everything, sir.
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Thank you for your wisdom, and your strength, and for being everything a man can be. I mean EVERYTHING!
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Uh-huh. Look, that's very nice, but I'm just a guy. Happy to be of service. No need to go crazy, pal.
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The player receives "Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 5" which is to "Make Washington Reject Praise". It takes 6 hours.
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Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 6
After tapping on George Washington's exclamation mark
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George Washington! It's really him! The greatest real-life superhero of all!
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Thanks for being the best Founding Father a country could ask for! We love you!
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Fine. That's very fine. Thank you. Go away.
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They're just trying to show their appreciation, sir.
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But they act like I'm some sort of saint. It's seriously creepy.
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Did you know there are guys on the Supreme Court who think laws should be based on what me and my friends were thinking about more than two centuries ago?
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We didn't have electricity. And trust me -- most of the time when we were writing constitutions and laws, we were thinking about what to order for dinner.
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I'm just a guy. And I'm really happy that America worked out so well. That rocks. But again, just a guy.
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Excuse me, Mr. Washington. I'm like your biggest fan ever, and--
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I owned slaves. Did you know that? It stinks, but it's true. So please leave me alone.
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Well, you must have had a very good reason.
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THERE IS NO GOOD REASON FOR OWNING SLAVES. Augh! You people are beyond weird!
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The player receives "Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 6" which is to "Make Washington Flee Admirers". It takes 16 hours.
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Ye Olde Cherry Tree
After tapping on George Washington's exclamation mark
|
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Okay, still think I'm perfect? Watch this. This'll prove I'm no saint. I'm going to cut down this cherry tree.
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Then, when you ask me if I cut it down, I AM GOING TO LIE ABOUT IT. There! Still think I'm all that?
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But, sir, everyone KNOWS George Washington can't tell a lie.
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WHAT GROWN MAN IS INCAPABLE OF LYING?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! HERE, WATCH!
|
The player receives "Ye Olde Cherry Tree" which is to "Make Washington Try to Cut Down a Cherry Tree". It takes 12 hours.
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Lincoln on Lincoln
After tapping on Abraham Lincoln's exclamation mark
|
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Okay, that is literally the LAST design I would have approved for a Lincoln Memorial. What garbage!
|
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No, it's nice! You look regal.
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Exactly! I'm sitting on a throne!
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but I sorta thought the POINT of America was “no more guys on thrones.”
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Uh... but this is OUR throne. So maybe that makes it okay?
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Oh, and thanks for the MASSIVE GREEK TEMPLE.
|
|
If there's one thing I was ALL ABOUT, it was huge, loud, in-your-face Greek stuff.
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The whole “log cabin” thing? Yeah, total smokescreen. Glad you picked up on that. I was secretly into stone monstrosities the whole time.
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|
This is EXACTLY how I want to be remembered -- as a higher-than-thou know-it-all who insisted that every word he uttered be ETCHED IN STONE FOR ALL TIME.
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|
Well done!!!
|
|
Uh... hey look! Some rails that need splitting.
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|
Huh? SWEET!
|
The player receives "Lincoln on Lincoln " which is to "Make Abraham Lincoln Split Rails". It takes 8 hours.
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|
The Rocket's Red Glare Redux Pt. 1
After tapping on Rex Banner's exclamation mark
|
|
Citizens of Springfield, fear not!
|
|
No longer will airborne displays of fireworks-related Technicolor splendor haunt your nights!
|
|
Federal agent Rex Banner!?
|
|
Here to stop the flow of illegal fireworks into Springfield and bring the Bottle Rocket Barons to their knees.
|
|
Well, that'll be nice. They're kind of a nuisance.
|
|
Nuisance? You call sporadic incidents of mild to moderate noise pollution a NUISANCE?
|
|
They're the greatest threat to the American way of life since loitering!
|
|
And nothing will stop me from ending this scourge!
|
|
Unless it is my debilitating addiction to refined sugars!
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The player receives "The Rocket's Red Glare Redux Pt. 1" which is to "Make Rex Banner Interrogate Flanders". It takes 8 hours.
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The Rocket's Red Glare Redux Pt. 2
After tapping on Apu's exclamation mark
|
|
Sales of fireworks are up 3,000%! This holiday is proving most profitable!
|
|
I've traced the fireworks to this Kwik-E-Mart. Time to see what we can see...
|
|
Great Ganesh! Super-cop Rex Banner is hot on my trail! I'd better hide the evidence.
|
The player receives "The Rocket's Red Glare Redux Pt. 2" which is to "Make Apu Hide the Fireworks Behind the Malt Liquor" and "Make Rex Banner Stake Out the Kwik-E-Mart". It takes 4 and 12 hours.
|
|
The Rocket's Red Glare Redux Pt. 3
After tapping on Rex Banner's exclamation mark
|
|
Reach for the sky, Nahasapeemapetilon!
|
|
I know you're the gunpowder-drunk mastermind of this fireworks racket!
|
|
Come clean -- you're the one they call the Rocket Rajah. The Bengal Blaster. Pyrotechnic ‘Pu.
|
|
I see. Because of my ethnicity and name, you assume this person must be me. That, sir, is profiling!
|
|
I'm an old-timey cop. Profiling is ninety percent of my skill set.
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|
And we call it by its proper name: good ol' red-blooded, American racism.
|
The player receives "The Rocket's Red Glare Redux Pt. 3" which is to "Make Apu Hide the Fireworks Behind the Malt Liquor" and "Make Rex Banner Stake Out the Kwik-E-Mart". It takes 4 and 12 hours.
|
|
The Rocket's Red Glare Redux Pt. 4
After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
|
|
Release Apu, Rex Banner!
|
|
I've discovered the true identity of the fireworks smuggler -- Ned Flanders!
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|
Arrest him and interrogate him for hours and hours!
|
|
Let's go, boys!
|
|
And... he's gone. Woo-hoo! Come on, everybody -- the coast is clear! Let's buy some boom!
|
The player receives "The Rocket's Red Glare Redux Pt. 4" which is to "Make Rex Banner Interrogate Flanders" and "Send Springfield Residents to Buy Fireworks (x10)". It takes 1 and 8 hours.
|
|
The Rocket's Red Glare Redux Pt. 5
After tapping on Rex Banner's exclamation mark
|
|
Hands where I can see them, Apu! I'm taking you in!
|
|
Wait! That man is innocent!
|
|
I've just found an old town law from 1803 which expressly permits “the sale and detonation of pyrotechnic devices for one month following June 4.”
|
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What's so special about the Fourth of June?
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June 4th was King George III of England's birthday.
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Springfield was the only town in the nation that voted 182 times to return to British rule.
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We've always been America's cowards.
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Well, at least there's one thing this town is still good for.
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The player receives "The Rocket's Red Glare Redux Pt. 5" which is to "Make Rex Eat a Banana Kaboom". It takes 4 hours.
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Paranoid Android Redux
After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
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Rex Banner!
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I've again discovered a nefarious smuggling ring -- far too intricate to detail here -- that is headed by our own Ned Flanders!
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Arrest Ned Flanders at once! And interrogate him for a really, really long time!
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But not in a scary, painful, illegal way like the CIA does.
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Just, you know, keep him out of my hair while football's on.
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Will do, patriotic citizen!
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The player receives "Paranoid Android Redux" which is to "Make Rex Banner Interrogate Flanders". It takes 8 hours.
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The Rocket's Red Glare Redux Pt. 6
After tapping on Apu's exclamation mark
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Now that this awful business with the authorities has blown over, it's time to restock!
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The player receives "The Rocket's Red Glare Redux Pt. 6" which is to "Make Apu Stock Up on Illegal Fireworks". It takes 24 hours.
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The Rocket's Red Glare Redux Pt. 7
After tapping on Apu's exclamation mark
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I am happy to announce I am open for business once again!
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Woo-hoo!
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I haven't blown anything up in a couple of hours, this was starting to feel like a Canada Day celebration...
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The player receives "The Rocket's Red Glare Redux Pt. 7" which is to "Make Apu Turn a Profit" and "Send Springfield Residents to Buy Fireworks *(x10)". It takes 12 and 1 hours.
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Bring on the Revolution!
After tapping on Skinner's exclamation mark
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Patty, I know things didn't work out on our last date, but I wonder if you'd be interested in giving it another shot?
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That date was twenty years ago. Also I'm Selma, not Patty.
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The straight one? Even better!
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Back off, bub. In case you haven't noticed, in this new Springfield single women are a hot commodity.
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And rightfully so! That's why I want to take you out to the hottest new spot in town.
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You might even call it revolutionary!
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The player receives "Bring on the Revolution!" which is to "Make Skinner and Selma Dine at the Revolving Restaurant". It takes 4 hours.
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So what did you think?
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The food was okay. But the prices were ridiculous.
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Well, that restaurant DID cost ten million to build.
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Whatever. You paid, so I don't care.
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See also
References
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