Muscularly Endowed Privateer

Muscularly Endowed Privateer

Tapped Out Quest Information Level: 5 Update: Time Traveling Toaster Required characters: Sexy Pirate, Marge Optional characters: Luann

Muscularly Endowed Privateer is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Time Traveling Toaster content update. It requires the Sexy Pirate to be obtained.

Dialogue

Pt. 1

After tapping on Sexy Pirate's exclamation mark Hoist up the mainsail, me mateys, because thar... she... blows. You have some nerve-- oh! I didn't see you there. Hello, captain. Did you just sail into port? Aye, miss. And I be on the lookout for plunder and pillage. Of the late-thirties female variety. But I'm married. Although to a pirate significantly less... SEXY... than yourself. Aye. I have a way of shivering the female timbers. Task: "Make Sexy Pirate Seduce Luann". The job takes place at the Van Houten House and takes 4 hours. If Luann is owned: Task: "Make Luann Succumb to Flattery". The job takes place at the Van Houten House and takes 4 hours. Have you killed many men in battle, you sexy, dangerous man? Aye. I have killed the sexiest number of men -- nine. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 2

After tapping on Sexy Pirate's exclamation mark Hoist up the mainsail, me mateys, because thar... she... blows. I bet you use that lame pick-up line on women all the time. Yes. I lack imagination, due to my overall low intelligence. But I make up for it with incredible sexiness. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I am happily married to an even sexier pirate: Mr. Homer J. Simpson. He must be very sexy indeed. Which is exactly why I MUST steal his woman! Task: "Make Sexy Pirate Try to Seduce Marge". The job takes 8 hours. Get away from my wife before I rip out your seductive heart and cram it down your arousing throat! Sexily, I comply. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 3

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark Why don't you go back to the sea, you titillating jerk? I... I cannot. I hang my luscious head in shame. Why can't you go to sea? You're a sexy PIRATE, right? Sexy, I am. But a pirate? No. I was born, you see, in a Florida theme park. Raised from ravishing birth, I was, to play the role of Sexy Pirate, a character from a beloved movie franchise. At the age of two, I could apply eye liner to my perfect face. I could tie a scarf at three. But I never learned the ways of the sea. Task: "Make Sexy Pirate Hang His Head in Shame". The job takes place at a Brown House and takes 4 hours. I am a fraud! A disgusting, chiseled, irresistible, sensual fraud! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 4

After tapping on Sexy Pirate's exclamation mark I am tired of living a super hot lie. You poor, gorgeous man. Get it all out. Tired of sculpting my flawless physique in the gym. Tired of yearning to make love to my own reflection. But most of all, I am tired of being able to take any woman I want, at any time. In any way. Anywhere. You don't have to be sexy anymore. It is true? Can I truly stop lying, and happily grow as disgusting as you? Task: "Make Sexy Pirate Let It All Hang Out". The job takes 60 minutes. Ahhh... after a lifetime, I finally know what carbs taste like. One percent body fat, and rising! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 5

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark Homer Simpson! You've ruined our sexy pirate! Ruined? Why, I've merely shown him a world of sloth and obesity, a heaven all men are entitled to. No, Homer. Alas, the desperate housewife is correct. A lazy slob, I cannot be. Sexy pirates are put on this earth to tantalize. Without us, the lives of women everywhere are meaningless. I see that now. I thank you, Homer, for the brief glimpse of paradise you have given me. Now, to sexiness I return. Avast, ye middle aged ladies. Objectify me! Task: "Make Sexy Pirate Embrace His Inner Stereotype". The job takes place at a Brown House and takes 4 hours. I will never forget the taste of donuts. But my place is in the weight room! Quest reward: 200 and 20

The Simpsons: Tapped Out Time Traveling Toaster quests
Bonus Treasure • Buried in Time • Chaos Theory • Come on Baby Light My Pyre • Homercoming • Ice Age • It's About Time • Land of the Lard • Love in a Time of Scurvy • A Mammoth Ranch • Mayan Botany • Medieval Camping Trip • The Time Traveler's Wife Pt. 1 • The Time Traveler's Wife Pt. 2 • The Time Traveler's Wife Pt. 3 • Walk Like an Egyptian
Prizes	"A" Is for "Ankh" • Baby T-Rex • Big Boy Buccaneer • Darwin Fish • Intellectual Parroty • Place Cave Drawing • Place Dinosaur Lake • Place Grog Barrel • Place Mammoth Statue • Place Orb of Isis • Place Pirate Animatronic • Place Pirate Treasure • Place Pterodactyl Nest • Place Skinner Sarcophagus • Pyramid Scheme
Crafting	Frog Day Afternoon • Homer Lizard • Place Bart Sphinx • Place Burning Tree • Place Mermaid Petting Zoo • Place Siren Masthead • Place Tar Field
Hollis Hurlbut	Museum of Unnatural History • The Simpson Genome Project
Caveman Moe	The Caveman's Lover
Blackbeard	No Leg to Stand On
Sexy Pirate	Muscularly Endowed Privateer
Mozart	Requiem in D-Ception
Cavegirl Booberella	Diets Are for Boobs
Taskmaster Willie	The Task at Hand
Pharaoh Skinner	The Power of Pharaohmones
Pets	The Best-iary Money Can Buy
Donut Day 2017
Cloudy With a Chance of Sprinkles
4th of July 2017
Crack Prattle and BANG! • Essay on the Principle of Procrastination
Dwight D. Eisenhower	Eisenhower Purchased Dialogue • Essay on the Principle of Delegation