The Town/Quotes
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- Moe Szyslak: [Looking at Tom Brady on the television] I can't stand that pretty boy quarterback. He thinks he's so handsome, just because he's drop-dead gorgeous.
- Marge: I know you're in a hurry to go to the bar to watch football, but first, I want you to put the kids to bed.
- Homer: Ugh.
- Homer: [reading The Wizard of Oz] Everything after the tornado was a dream. The end!
- Lenny Leonard: The only Boston wins is because they cheat! Listening in our teams' headsets, fattening our cheerleaders, you know, for three games last year, Boston used a volleyball painted brown!
- Boston fan 1: That was never proven, you Springfield screw-job.
- Moe: Ugh. Boston fans. In town for the Dennis Lehane book tour.
- Lenny Leonard: Go kiss a Kennedy, you rule-breaking cranberry squeezers!
- Boston fan 2: We don't cheat! We won 12 division titles in ten years, fair and square!
- Boston fan 1: You dorks are just jealous of all our championship rings! [they start kissing their hands]
- Homer: You're the one who's jealous. I only wish I could be as jealous as you!
- Boston fan 1: Geez, Jay, this place has got more knobs than a hardware store. I hate this town!
- Jay: So don't I. Frigging doorknobs [they laugh]
- Boston fan 1: Automatic! [they kiss their hands again]
