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Balderdashing All the Way
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
| Balderdashing All the Way
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Tapped Out Quest Information
| Level:
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5
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| Update:
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The Invasion Before Christmas
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| Requirement(s):
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myPad
Act 2
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| Required characters:
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Kang, Kodos, Normal Springfielders, Lisa, Bart, Krusty, Gautama Buddha, Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert, Santa Claus
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| Optional characters:
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Santa Kang, Mrs. Kodos Claus, See Characters
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Balderdashing All the Way is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in The Invasion Before Christmas content update.
Dialogue
Pt. 1
| After tapping on Kang's exclamation mark
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As the Rigellian saying goes, if at first you don't succeed, abase yourself before the supreme Rigellian dictator and try again.
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Also, I still have a few billion Robo-Funzos to get rid of. So I've added an Unbrainulizer Ray that enhances the human tendency to stare brainlessly at their phones.
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They will be completely helpless before our invasion. Ha, ha!
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Excellent! I will continue to impersonate Santa's domestic partner. You know, this place could really use the patter of little feet.
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I think I'll import some elf-a-pillars from Rivendell IV.
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Task: "Make Santa Kang/Kang Prepare to Unbrainulize Earthlings". The job takes place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and takes 8 hours.
Task: "Make Mrs. Kodos Claus/Kodos Import Elf-a-Pillars". The job takes place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and takes 8 hours.
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
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Pt. 2
| After tapping on Kang's exclamation mark
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I have initiated the Unbrainulizer Ray. The Robo-Funzos are turning the humans into defenseless prey.
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Did you have to make them float right over the humans to do it? I mean, it's a little obvious.
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Oh, so it's not enough that I invent a weapon to utterly defeat mankind. Now it has to have more than a one-meter range.
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What's the point of us being Earth-married if I can't make positive suggestions?
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Let's not fight. We have some hypnotized humans who'll do anything we want. Let's have some fun.
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Task: "Make Santa Kang/Kang Give Silly Orders". The job takes place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Mrs. Kodos Claus/Kodos Enjoy Humans Acting Foolish". The job takes place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Springfielders Follow Orders". The jobs take place at a Brown House and take 4 hours.
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Oh, Kang, I love how you make my amusement bladder expramulate.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 3
| After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
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The Robo-Funzos are back! They're floating over people, beaming into their brains.
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Maybe it's one of those social media devices that corrects your posture and counts your steps.
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No! They're totally hypnotized by their phones. We have to use the Re-Gifting Machine to rid people of their robo-parasites!
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Hypnotized, eh? Don't fire up that Re-Gifter until I make a four-fingered visit to the Kwik-E-Mart.
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Task: "Use the Re-Gifting Machine to Blast Robo-Funzos".
Task: "Make Lisa Battle Robo-Funzos". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Bart Shoplift". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
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The Re-Gifting Machine didn't work. The people with parasitic Robo-Funzos are still hypnotized.
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Dammit! If only I'd known; I could have raided the comic book store, too.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 4
| After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark
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All right, let's amp up the power on the Re-Gifting Machine and blow those No-Funzos away.
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Good glayvin, no! We have no idea what might happen to the victims if the Robo-Funzos' brain rays are interrupted.
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Their brains might be rewired to become mental vegetables. Or, alternately, mental geniuses. We just don't know!
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It's like climate change. Could be good, could be bad. Incidentally, I'm available as a paid consultant to the fossil fuel industry if anyone's interested.
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What do you recommend, then?
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Pray to whatever higher power you believe in.
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Task: "Make Lisa Meditate on the Divinity of Buddha". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 12 hours.
Task: "Make Bart Tweet Krusty". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 12 hours.
Task: "Make Krusty Ignore Tweets". The job takes place at a Krusty Burger and takes 12 hours.
Task: "Unlock Gautama Buddha".
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Out of nowhere, the mind comes forth.
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Buddha? You're real!
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As real as a butterfly that never flies, or a laugh that no one hears.
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You're real but you're like talking to Grampa.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 5
| After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
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Lord Buddha, it's awesome you've come! Will you help us defeat the invasion of Robo-Funzos?
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Lisa, there are many deities. Or perhaps they are all aspects of one all-encompassing divinity. I know the answer, but I'm not telling. That's Buddhism for you.
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You must seek help from all systems of belief.
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I get it. Sort of a Belief Systems Justice League.
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Or B.S. League for short!
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Task: "Make Buddha Contemplate His Navel". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Lisa Believe in B.S.". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Bart Believe in B.S.". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
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No sign of the rest of the B.S. League.
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Have faith they will come, otherwise they won't come. That's B.S. for you.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 6
| After tapping on Kang's exclamation mark
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Lord Buddha, who's behind this terrible Robo-Funzo invasion?
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The disciple asks for guidance. But the master says, “do not ask what you already know”.
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Hm. Big holiday…sneaky invasion…master, I am enlightened! It's Kang and Kodos!
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Really? Didn't see that coming.
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Just kidding, of course I did. And now, let's de-incarnate some alien ass.
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Task: "Make Buddha Invoke the B.S.". The job takes place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Kang Battle the B.S. League". The job takes place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Kodos Battle the B.S. League". The job takes place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and takes 4 hours.
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You defeated us this time, but only because we weren't ready!
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Yes, I had ginger cookies in the oven, and now they're ruined.
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Stupid victory. I could've had ginger cookies!
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Quest reward:  200
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Pt. 7
| After tapping on Gautama Buddha's exclamation mark
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We slowed the aliens, but we didn't defeat them. We need more members of the Belief Systems League.
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Did someone call for the Spirit of Kwanzaa?
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Fantastic! You're the first B.S. Leaguer here.
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I am? Dammit. I hate being the first to show up at a party. So uncool.
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That's okay, you can help put out the appetizers.
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Dammit!
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Task: "Unlock Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert".
Task: "Make Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert Help Set up". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Santa Kang Tend to Wounds". The job takes place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Buddha Put Out the Call to Other B.S.ers". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 8
| After tapping on Gautama Buddha's exclamation mark
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I wonder who'll be next to join our Belief Systems League party.
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You should be keeping a sharper lookout…oh, that's right you don't have a THIRD EYE.
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Shiva, you old Lord of the Universe. Where's your wife Parvati?
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Back home looking after the kids, Ganesha and Kartikeya. Don't tell her I'm here.
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She thinks I'm at work watching over the Universe. If she finds out I'm goofing off here, she'll turn into her aspect of Kali…Eight arms, every one holding a rolling pin.
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| If Shiva isn't owned
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| Message
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Help Shiva watch over Karma! Now available in the store.
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Task: "Make B.S. Leaguers Fight Aliens" (x4). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours.
Task: "Make Rigellians Battle the B.S. League" (x2). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours.
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I'm so glad to have you join us, Shiva! High five!
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High FIVES. This is going to take a while.
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Quest reward: 100 and  30
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Pt. 9
| After tapping on Gautama Buddha's exclamation mark
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Our battles against the alien invaders are going great. We're beating the living drool out of them.
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Let's grab some manna. Anyone know a good lunch place?
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Hear the words of the Angel of Yahweh! There's a great deli on Second Avenue.
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Kreplach to die for. And I should know, eating too much is how I died the first time.
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Task: "Make B.S. Leaguers Fight Aliens" (x4). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours.
Task: "Make Rigellians Battle the B.S. League" (x2). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours.
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Feh! These aliens don't have the chutzpah to mess with the Angel of Yahweh.
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It's time to take these pishers to the laundromat – father and clown style!
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Quest reward: 100 and  30
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Pt. 10
| After tapping on Gautama Buddha's exclamation mark
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A fool says, “The bowl is full”. The wise man says, “We still need Jesus”.
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I think J.C. is mad about something.
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Darn right. You guys keep forgetting my birthday!
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To me, the past and future are all one. It's no wonder I forget birthdays and anniversaries.
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How does your wife Parvati like that excuse?
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Not a lot.
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Task: "Make B.S. Leaguers Fight Aliens" (x4). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours.
Task: "Make Rigellians Battle the B.S. League" (x2). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours.
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It looks like we're half-way there!
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Would you say we might be living on a prayer?
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The wise man sleeps when the fool quotes pop music.
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| Quest reward: 200
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Pt. 11
| After tapping on Gautama Buddha's exclamation mark
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Wow, the Belief System League is amazing: representatives of Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity, Hinduism, and, of course, Nguzo Saba.
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So that's what I am! *chuckles*
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Seems like you're skipping something obvious.
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Can't think of anything.
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Unless you're scared to make fun of it.
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Sky Finger isn't afraid to laugh at anything!
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I'm talking about atheism.
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Oh, thank Us.
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Task: "Make B.S. Leaguers Fight Aliens" (x4). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours.
Task: "Make Rigellians Battle the B.S. League" (x2). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours.
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We couldn't find anyone in America willing to admit to being an atheist.
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So we hired the toughest mythical pixie we could find…Jack Frost.
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I will frost your windows! Hee, hee, hee!
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| Quest reward: 200 and 30
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Pt. 12
| After tapping on Gautama Buddha's exclamation mark
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The alien invaders are really strong. All the power of our various faiths is not enough.
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You need the one being that everyone on Earth worships.
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Santa Claus, bringer of free stuff. And the most potent pixie on the planet.
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I'm a pixie. I'm powerful.
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Yeah, right. What are you going to do, frost up the windows on the aliens' flying saucer?
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Task: "Make B.S. Leaguers Fight Aliens" (x4). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours.
Task: "Make Rigellians Battle the B.S. League" (x2). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours.
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Bart, Bart! I went to Santa's Castle, and they said they haven't seen him for weeks.
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His sleigh is parked by the alien base! They must've kidnapped him.
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Then we're kidnapping him back. No one takes my Santa when he's a few days from handing out presents.
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Quest reward: 50
Santa Claus
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Pt. 13
| After tapping on Gautama Buddha's exclamation mark
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Well, we found Santa Claus. He wasn't kidnapped at all.
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He was hanging out eating Mrs. Kodos Claus's sugar snaps.
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What? I like a good cookie. Besides, it's nice talking shop with someone else in the large-scale toy delivery business.
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But you will help us defeat the aliens, right? Think of it as a birthday present to me.
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Again with the birthday guilt. Why couldn't Christmas be in June?
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Task: "Make B.S. Leaguers Fight Aliens" (x4). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours.
Task: "Make Rigellians Battle the B.S. League" (x2). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours.
Task: "Make Santa Claus Come to Town Upside Rigellian Skulls". The job takes place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and takes 4 hours.
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| Quest reward: 400
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Pt. 14
| After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
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Thank you, Belief Systems League! You destroyed the Rigellian ship!
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We would have won if Jack Frost hadn't iced up our windows.
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Lord Buddha, there're still a lot of Robo-Funzos around town? You'll get rid of them too, right?
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The most valuable thing in the world is the head of a dead Robo-Funzo, for no one can name its price.
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I'm no Buddhist, but ten bucks says that means he ain't helping.
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Task: "Make B.S. Leaguers Celebrate Their Holidays" (x3). The jobs take place at the Simpson House and take 4 hours.
Task: "Make Springfielders Clean up the B.S. Mess" (x10). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours.
Task: "Make Lisa Puzzle Over Buddhist Koans". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 15
| After tapping on Kang's exclamation mark
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I think the take-away message is clear: we should stick to Halloween updates.
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You don't think the message is: you're incompetent at any time of the year?
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Yes, we were utterly defeated and humiliated at Christmas, but cheer up: it's Christmas!
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Well, I did make a ginger bread house. Care to join me in vaporizing it from space?
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That's the holiday spirit!
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Task: "Make Kang Cast Off His Santa Costume". The job takes place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and takes 8 hours.
Task: "Make Kodos Drink Eggnog". The job takes place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and takes 8 hours.
Task: "Make Springfielders Continue to Clean up the Mess" (x10). The jobs take place at a Brown House and take 8 hours.
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| Message
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Keep playing to earn prizes by ridding Springfield of Robo-Funzos once and for all!
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| Quest reward: 500 and 50
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Characters
B.S. Leaguers include:
| Gautama Buddha, Shiva, Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert, Rabbi Krustofsky, Conductor Otto, Elf Bart, Elf Lisa, Jesus Christ, Lyla, Jack Frost, Santa Claus and Christmas Tree Ralph
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Rigellians include:
Behind the Laughter
The quest name is a reference to the line "dashing all the way" from the Christmas carol "Jingle Bells".
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