Difference between revisions of "Gump Roast/Quotes"
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:'''Krusty''': "Now here's a couple that's been dating. Carbon-dating! ''[laughs]'' [[Grampa Simpson]] and [[Agnes Skinner]]!" | :'''Krusty''': "Now here's a couple that's been dating. Carbon-dating! ''[laughs]'' [[Grampa Simpson]] and [[Agnes Skinner]]!" | ||
:''[The audience applauds as Agnes and Abe step up to the podium. Agnes is wearing an extremely low-cut dress that shows lots of cleavage.]'' | :''[The audience applauds as Agnes and Abe step up to the podium. Agnes is wearing an extremely low-cut dress that shows lots of cleavage.]'' | ||
| − | :'''Abe''': "Sweet | + | :'''Abe''': "Sweet Toledo! What's keepin' that dress on?" |
:'''[[Sideshow Mel]]''': ''[standing up and shouting]'' "The collective will of everyone in this room!" | :'''[[Sideshow Mel]]''': ''[standing up and shouting]'' "The collective will of everyone in this room!" | ||
:'''Agnes''': ''[angry]'' "You fruits wouldn't know what to do with me!" | :'''Agnes''': ''[angry]'' "You fruits wouldn't know what to do with me!" | ||
Revision as of 14:39, September 5, 2011
- [Homer is sitting on a bench dressed as Forrest Gump. Chief Wiggum comes along.]
- Wiggum: "Hold it right there, Forrest Plump! This town has laws against impersonating movie characters."
- Moe: [dressed as Austin Powers] "Oh, behave!"
- [Officers Lou and Eddie appear, grab Moe, and put him into a paddy wagon with Dr. Hibbert, who is dressed as Darth Vader.]
- Hibbert: "Luke, I am your father." [laughs]
- Moe: "Yeah, it's shag-a-delic."
- [Chief Wiggum takes a seat on the bench and talks with Homer.]
- Homer: "Don't you have criminals to catch?"
- Wiggum: "Hey, I'm working on it. We, uh, we got an undercover guy who's infiltrating the Mob. [looks across street] Oh, there he is now. [waves and hollers] Hey, Pete! Pete! They fixed the Coke machine."
- [The view expands to show Pete standing next to a sunglasses-wearing Fat Tony. Tony removes his sunglasses and stares menacingly at Pete, and Pete laughs nervously.]
- [The Simpson family take a blindfolded Homer to the Springfield Friars Club.]
- Krusty the Clown: "Hey, Homer! Do you remember this voice?"
- Homer: "Kathleen Turner!" [growls]
- Krusty: "No, it's me, Krusty! [pulls off Homer's blindfold] You're at the Springfield Friars Club, where tonight, we're roasting you, Homer Simpson!"
- [The audience applauds.]
- Homer: "Are the proceeds going to charity?"
- Krusty: "Hell, no!"
- Homer: "Woo-hoo!"
- [The roasting of Homer commences. Bart and Lisa join Krusty at the podium.]
- Krusty: "Now I'd like to read some telegrams from people who couldn't make it. First, we have Mark Spitz."
- Lisa: "Who's Mark Spitz?"
- Bart: "What's a telegram?"
- [Mr. Burns takes his turn at the podium for the Homer-roast.]
- Burns: "I stand here to expose the criminal ineptitude of Homer J. Simpson. [Homer gasps] Again and again he has brought this town to the brink of annihilation."
- [The audience laughs hysterically.]
- Burns: "Why are you laughing? His bungling has shortened your lives and mutated your children!"
- [The audience laughs even more hysterically, Kent Brockman to the point of falling over backwards in his chair.]
- Burns: "Just look at all of his catastrophic nincompoopery." [gestures at video screen]
- Carl: [in audience, still laughing] "Poop."
- [Krusty introduces the next two speakers for the roast.]
- Krusty: "Now here's a couple that's been dating. Carbon-dating! [laughs] Grampa Simpson and Agnes Skinner!"
- [The audience applauds as Agnes and Abe step up to the podium. Agnes is wearing an extremely low-cut dress that shows lots of cleavage.]
- Abe: "Sweet Toledo! What's keepin' that dress on?"
- Sideshow Mel: [standing up and shouting] "The collective will of everyone in this room!"
- Agnes: [angry] "You fruits wouldn't know what to do with me!"
