Difference between revisions of "Balderdashing All the Way"

Revision as of 10:14, November 9, 2024

Balderdashing All the Way is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in The Invasion Before Christmas content update.

Dialogue

Pt. 1

After tapping on Kang's exclamation mark As the Rigellian saying goes, if at first you don't succeed, abase yourself before the supreme Rigellian dictator and try again. Also, I still have a few billion Robo-Funzos to get rid of. So I've added an Unbrainulizer Ray that enhances the human tendency to stare brainlessly at their phones. They will be completely helpless before our invasion. Ha, ha! Excellent! I will continue to impersonate Santa's domestic partner. You know, this place could really use the patter of little feet. I think I'll import some elf-a-pillars from Rivendell IV. Task: "Make Santa Kang/Kang Prepare to Unbrainulize Earthlings". The job takes place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and takes 8 hours. Task: "Make Mrs. Kodos Claus/Kodos Import Elf-a-Pillars". The job takes place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and takes 8 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 2

After tapping on Kang's exclamation mark I have initiated the Unbrainulizer Ray. The Robo-Funzos are turning the humans into defenseless prey. Did you have to make them float right over the humans to do it? I mean, it's a little obvious. Oh, so it's not enough that I invent a weapon to utterly defeat mankind. Now it has to have more than a one-meter range. What's the point of us being Earth-married if I can't make positive suggestions? Let's not fight. We have some hypnotized humans who'll do anything we want. Let's have some fun. Task: "Make Santa Kang/Kang Give Silly Orders". The job takes place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Mrs. Kodos Claus/Kodos Enjoy Humans Acting Foolish". The job takes place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Springfielders Follow Orders". The jobs take place at a Brown House and take 4 hours. Oh, Kang, I love how you make my amusement bladder expramulate. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 3

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark The Robo-Funzos are back! They're floating over people, beaming into their brains. Maybe it's one of those social media devices that corrects your posture and counts your steps. No! They're totally hypnotized by their phones. We have to use the Re-Gifting Machine to rid people of their robo-parasites! Hypnotized, eh? Don't fire up that Re-Gifter until I make a four-fingered visit to the Kwik-E-Mart. Task: "Use the Re-Gifting Machine to Blast Robo-Funzos". Task: "Make Lisa Battle Robo-Funzos". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Bart Shoplift". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. The Re-Gifting Machine didn't work. The people with parasitic Robo-Funzos are still hypnotized. Dammit! If only I'd known; I could have raided the comic book store, too. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 4

After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark All right, let's amp up the power on the Re-Gifting Machine and blow those No-Funzos away. Good glayvin, no! We have no idea what might happen to the victims if the Robo-Funzos' brain rays are interrupted. Their brains might be rewired to become mental vegetables. Or, alternately, mental geniuses. We just don't know! It's like climate change. Could be good, could be bad. Incidentally, I'm available as a paid consultant to the fossil fuel industry if anyone's interested. What do you recommend, then? Pray to whatever higher power you believe in. Task: "Make Lisa Meditate on the Divinity of Buddha". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 12 hours. Task: "Make Bart Tweet Krusty". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 12 hours. Task: "Make Krusty Ignore Tweets". The job takes place at a Krusty Burger and takes 12 hours. Task: "Unlock Gautama Buddha". Out of nowhere, the mind comes forth. Buddha? You're real! As real as a butterfly that never flies, or a laugh that no one hears. You're real but you're like talking to Grampa. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 5

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark Lord Buddha, it's awesome you've come! Will you help us defeat the invasion of Robo-Funzos? Lisa, there are many deities. Or perhaps they are all aspects of one all-encompassing divinity. I know the answer, but I'm not telling. That's Buddhism for you. You must seek help from all systems of belief. I get it. Sort of a Belief Systems Justice League. Or B.S. League for short! Task: "Make Buddha Contemplate His Navel". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Lisa Believe in B.S.". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Bart Believe in B.S.". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. No sign of the rest of the B.S. League. Have faith they will come, otherwise they won't come. That's B.S. for you. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 6

After tapping on Kang's exclamation mark Lord Buddha, who's behind this terrible Robo-Funzo invasion? The disciple asks for guidance. But the master says, “do not ask what you already know”. Hm. Big holiday…sneaky invasion…master, I am enlightened! It's Kang and Kodos! Really? Didn't see that coming. Just kidding, of course I did. And now, let's de-incarnate some alien ass. Task: "Make Buddha Invoke the B.S.". The job takes place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Kang Battle the B.S. League". The job takes place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Kodos Battle the B.S. League". The job takes place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and takes 4 hours. You defeated us this time, but only because we weren't ready! Yes, I had ginger cookies in the oven, and now they're ruined. Stupid victory. I could've had ginger cookies! Quest reward: 200

Pt. 7

After tapping on Gautama Buddha's exclamation mark We slowed the aliens, but we didn't defeat them. We need more members of the Belief Systems League. Did someone call for the Spirit of Kwanzaa? Fantastic! You're the first B.S. Leaguer here. I am? Dammit. I hate being the first to show up at a party. So uncool. That's okay, you can help put out the appetizers. Dammit! Task: "Unlock Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert". Task: "Make Kwanzaa Dr. Hibbert Help Set up". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Santa Kang Tend to Wounds". The job takes place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Buddha Put Out the Call to Other B.S.ers". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 8

After tapping on Gautama Buddha's exclamation mark I wonder who'll be next to join our Belief Systems League party. You should be keeping a sharper lookout…oh, that's right you don't have a THIRD EYE. Shiva, you old Lord of the Universe. Where's your wife Parvati? Back home looking after the kids, Ganesha and Kartikeya. Don't tell her I'm here. She thinks I'm at work watching over the Universe. If she finds out I'm goofing off here, she'll turn into her aspect of Kali…Eight arms, every one holding a rolling pin. If Shiva isn't owned Message Help Shiva watch over Karma! Now available in the store. Task: "Make B.S. Leaguers Fight Aliens" (x4). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours. Task: "Make Rigellians Battle the B.S. League" (x2). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours. I'm so glad to have you join us, Shiva! High five! High FIVES. This is going to take a while. Quest reward: 100 and 30

Pt. 9

After tapping on Gautama Buddha's exclamation mark Our battles against the alien invaders are going great. We're beating the living drool out of them. Let's grab some manna. Anyone know a good lunch place? Hear the words of the Angel of Yahweh! There's a great deli on Second Avenue. Kreplach to die for. And I should know, eating too much is how I died the first time. Task: "Make B.S. Leaguers Fight Aliens" (x4). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours. Task: "Make Rigellians Battle the B.S. League" (x2). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours. Feh! These aliens don't have the chutzpah to mess with the Angel of Yahweh. It's time to take these pishers to the laundromat – father and clown style! Quest reward: 100 and 30

Pt. 10

After tapping on Gautama Buddha's exclamation mark A fool says, “The bowl is full”. The wise man says, “We still need Jesus”. I think J.C. is mad about something. Darn right. You guys keep forgetting my birthday! To me, the past and future are all one. It's no wonder I forget birthdays and anniversaries. How does your wife Parvati like that excuse? Not a lot. Task: "Make B.S. Leaguers Fight Aliens" (x4). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours. Task: "Make Rigellians Battle the B.S. League" (x2). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours. It looks like we're half-way there! Would you say we might be living on a prayer? The wise man sleeps when the fool quotes pop music. Quest reward: 200

Pt. 11

After tapping on Gautama Buddha's exclamation mark Wow, the Belief System League is amazing: representatives of Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity, Hinduism, and, of course, Nguzo Saba. So that's what I am! *chuckles* Seems like you're skipping something obvious. Can't think of anything. Unless you're scared to make fun of it. Sky Finger isn't afraid to laugh at anything! I'm talking about atheism. Oh, thank Us. Task: "Make B.S. Leaguers Fight Aliens" (x4). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours. Task: "Make Rigellians Battle the B.S. League" (x2). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours. We couldn't find anyone in America willing to admit to being an atheist. So we hired the toughest mythical pixie we could find…Jack Frost. I will frost your windows! Hee, hee, hee! Quest reward: 200 and 30

Pt. 12

After tapping on Gautama Buddha's exclamation mark The alien invaders are really strong. All the power of our various faiths is not enough. You need the one being that everyone on Earth worships. Santa Claus, bringer of free stuff. And the most potent pixie on the planet. I'm a pixie. I'm powerful. Yeah, right. What are you going to do, frost up the windows on the aliens' flying saucer? Task: "Make B.S. Leaguers Fight Aliens" (x4). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours. Task: "Make Rigellians Battle the B.S. League" (x2). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours. Bart, Bart! I went to Santa's Castle, and they said they haven't seen him for weeks. His sleigh is parked by the alien base! They must've kidnapped him. Then we're kidnapping him back. No one takes my Santa when he's a few days from handing out presents. Quest reward: 50 Santa Claus

Pt. 13

After tapping on Gautama Buddha's exclamation mark Well, we found Santa Claus. He wasn't kidnapped at all. He was hanging out eating Mrs. Kodos Claus's sugar snaps. What? I like a good cookie. Besides, it's nice talking shop with someone else in the large-scale toy delivery business. But you will help us defeat the aliens, right? Think of it as a birthday present to me. Again with the birthday guilt. Why couldn't Christmas be in June? Task: "Make B.S. Leaguers Fight Aliens" (x4). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours. Task: "Make Rigellians Battle the B.S. League" (x2). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours. Task: "Make Santa Claus Come to Town Upside Rigellian Skulls". The job takes place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and takes 4 hours. Quest reward: 400

Pt. 14

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark Thank you, Belief Systems League! You destroyed the Rigellian ship! We would have won if Jack Frost hadn't iced up our windows. Lord Buddha, there're still a lot of Robo-Funzos around town? You'll get rid of them too, right? The most valuable thing in the world is the head of a dead Robo-Funzo, for no one can name its price. I'm no Buddhist, but ten bucks says that means he ain't helping. Task: "Make B.S. Leaguers Celebrate Their Holidays" (x3). The jobs take place at the Simpson House and take 4 hours. Task: "Make Springfielders Clean up the B.S. Mess" (x10). The jobs take place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and take 4 hours. Task: "Make Lisa Puzzle Over Buddhist Koans". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 15

After tapping on Kang's exclamation mark I think the take-away message is clear: we should stick to Halloween updates. You don't think the message is: you're incompetent at any time of the year? Yes, we were utterly defeated and humiliated at Christmas, but cheer up: it's Christmas! Well, I did make a ginger bread house. Care to join me in vaporizing it from space? That's the holiday spirit! Task: "Make Kang Cast Off His Santa Costume". The job takes place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and takes 8 hours. Task: "Make Kodos Drink Eggnog". The job takes place at the Rigellian Christmas Spaceship and takes 8 hours. Task: "Make Springfielders Continue to Clean up the Mess" (x10). The jobs take place at a Brown House and take 8 hours. Message Keep playing to earn prizes by ridding Springfield of Robo-Funzos once and for all! Quest reward: 500 and 50

Characters

B.S. Leaguers include:

Rigellians include:

Behind the Laughter

The quest name is a reference to the line "dashing all the way" from the Christmas carol "Jingle Bells".