Difference between revisions of "The Joy of Gossip"

Latest revision as of 08:46, June 19, 2024

The Joy of Gossip is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Level 50 content update. It unlocks Helen Lovejoy and the Municipal House of Pancakes.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Milhouse's exclamation mark Bart! The new issue of Radioactive Woman is out! Women can't be superheroes! Whoever heard of women in tights? Supposedly on the cover you can see upper thigh and even, dare I say, lower butt. I think I'm coming around to the idea of female superheroes. It's largely butt related. This is my last copy, and I simply cannot let it go for less than TWENTY DOLLARS! I also accept Galactic credits, dwarven runes, and microwave burritos. Aw! I had $20, but I spent it on a collection of commemorative state quarters. You spent $20 on $12.50 in quarters? Markets fluctuate, Lisa. Who knows how much a quarter will be worth next week? 25 cents. Nuts, I don't know anything about finances! I mean, I talk the talk, but I can't walk the walk. Probably because of all the quarters in my pockets. Well, we're in luck! Helen Lovejoy is up next and she knows more about investments than I know about analogies. Task: "Build Municipal House of Pancakes". It takes 4 hours. If Luann is not obtained I've searched everywhere! The Jacuzzi suit store, the American Gladiator's green room, the Shelbyville eyebrow outlet, and I can't find Luann! We cannot hold an Investorettes meeting without the full membership present. Take it up with the Great Man in the Sky who hasn't forked over the donuts to bring her back to life. Was that Ezekiel 3:17? Bart, I didn't know you were so well versed in Bible quotes. Message Will the Investorettes get two new members? Complete the Investorettes club to find out! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Helen Lovejoy's exclamation mark Helen, my prayers have been answered! You're finally here... ...and holding a perfectly seasoned roast beef sandwich? No, just me. Well, one of my prayers was answered. Although, you seem troubled by something. It's just, well, I've been in limbo for so long that I feel like I don't even know this town anymore. How has everyone gone about with their business without my nose in it? I need a glass of fresh squeezed juicy gossip! Perhaps Marge Simpson could be of service. She's both up to speed on the town's affairs, and not up to speed on mine. Task: "Make Helen Make Marge Spill the Beans". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 60 minutes. Afer starting the job Oh, Marge Simpson! How lovely to see you! I wish I could say the same thing to you, but I promised myself that I wouldn't lie. Oh Marge, you big jokester. So you'll only be lying to yourself from now on then? But enough about us -- let's talk about other people! Give me the gossip! Hmmmm... After finishing the task Well, the big news in Springfield is that people seem to be turning up in order of importance. Nonsense. If that's the case I would have been home AGES ago. Would you? Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Helen Lovejoy's exclamation mark Order of importance?! How could I be LESS important than a politician's spoiled nephew or some juvenile delinquents?!? I have a first AND last name for goodness sake. That a perfect lady such as myself, who only thinks of others, could be seen as LESS important than an old, uneducated stripper? Who are you callin' educated? I said UN-educated. Oh. Carry on then. What are we teaching our children?! Oh won't somebody PLEASE think of the children! Task: "Make Helen Think of the Children". The job takes 8 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Helen Lovejoy's exclamation mark Helen, you are the most important person to me. Isn't that enough? There's a fire. You can either save me or your Christmas coal train car. Which do you save? Let's not go down this road again, Helen. I can't believe that fat slob Homer Simpson is the most important person in Springfield. Calm yourself, Helen. He isn't even a premium character. Premium? Oh I like the sound of that! Clearly, there was a mistake. I should be a premium character! Task: "Make Helen Apply for Premium Status". The job takes place at the DMV and takes 4 hours. Premium status? Lady, this is the DMV. Does anyone here look premium to you? Now if you're looking for an eye test or novelty license plate, then maybe we can help. Hmm, perhaps I could use a new license plate. Great! In that case... ...you're in the wrong line. Ugh. Just tell me where to go to get premium status. Only a being of supreme power could grant you premium status. Maybe a postmaster general, but definitely not the DMV. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Helen Lovejoy's exclamation mark I don't know why I thought the government was the answer. I need help from a higher power! God? What?! Is He in this game before me too? Task: "Make Helen Plead with a Higher Power". The job takes place at the First Church of Springfield and takes 8 hours. After starting the job Oh great one, hear my wishes! I've been good, followed all the rules, publically shamed people for the things they do in private, and for this I believe I should be rewarded. After finishing the task Look, lady. I don't know who gave you my information, but that's not how things are done around here. There are strategy meetings, lawyers, names picked out of hats... PLEASE! Fine! But don't say a nerd never did anything for you. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 6[edit]

After tapping on Helen Lovejoy's exclamation mark Now we just have to access your character data from the debug menu and set your status to premium. Although you WILL need to be re-acquired through the Premium Stuff Menu. Is it going to hurt? No, but there's a small chance it would create a paradox, which could destroy the entire universe! But, I'd be premium? If the universe explodes, no one will be premium. That's fine too. Flip the switch! There is no switch. It's actually a complicated system of 1s and 0s that diverts the CSS stylesheet... ...whatever, it's done. Task: "Get Helen Lovejoy from the Premium Menu". It worked! I'm a PREMIUM character! I've never felt so important in all my life. Um, Database, she's not REALLY a premium character... right? People get mad around here when we change the price of houses. They'd go ballistic over that! Well, she's not technically premium but... Hey! Look over there! Ooh! That cloud looks like a rabbit! Whew. Saved once again by my rabbit-shaped cloud emulation software. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 7[edit]

After tapping on Helen Lovejoy's exclamation mark You look to be in much better spirits, my dear. Did you discover some photos of a neighbor in a compromising position? Oh, much better than that. I just had myself turned premium. Good for you. What do you say I make a reservation at the Gilded Truffle for my gilded lily? I have a better idea... do you still have that half mattress we got from the Simpsons? Another reason I'm glad I'm not Catholic! Task: "Make Helen "Worship" Alongside Rev. Lovejoy". The job takes place at the First Church of Springfield and takes 20 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10