Difference between revisions of "Gump Roast/Quotes"
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|episode = Gump Roast | |episode = Gump Roast | ||
}} | }} | ||
| − | '''[[ | + | :''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Homer]] is sitting on a bench dressed as {{w|Forrest Gump (character)|Forrest Gump}}. [[Chief Wiggum]] comes along.]'' |
| − | '''[[ | + | :'''Wiggum''': "Hold it right there, Forrest '''Plump'''! This town has laws against impersonating movie characters." |
| + | :'''[[Moe]]''': ''[dressed as {{w|Austin Powers (character)|Austin Powers}}]'' "Oh, behave!" | ||
| + | :''[Officers [[Lou]] and [[Eddie]] appear, grab Moe, and put him into a paddy wagon with [[Dr. Hibbert]], who is dressed as {{w|Darth Vader}}.]'' | ||
| + | :'''Hibbert''': "Luke, I am your father." ''[laughs]'' | ||
| + | :'''Moe''': "Yeah, it's shag-a-delic." | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Chief Wiggum]] takes a seat on the bench and talks with [[Homer]].]'' | ||
| + | :'''Homer''': "Don't you have criminals to catch?" | ||
| + | :'''Wiggum''': "Hey, I'm working on it. We, uh, we got an undercover guy who's infiltrating the [[Springfield Mafia|Mob]]. ''[looks across street]'' Oh, there he is now. ''[waves and hollers]'' Hey, Pete! Pete! They fixed the Coke machine." | ||
| + | :''[The view expands to show Pete standing next to a sunglasses-wearing [[Fat Tony]]. Tony removes his sunglasses and stares menacingly at Pete, and Pete laughs nervously.]'' | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :''[The Simpson family take a blindfolded [[Homer]] to the Springfield Friars Club.]'' | ||
| + | :'''[[Krusty the Clown]]''': "Hey, Homer! Do you remember this voice?" | ||
| + | :'''Homer''': "{{w|Kathleen Turner}}!" ''[growls]'' | ||
| + | :'''Krusty''': "No, it's me, Krusty! ''[pulls off Homer's blindfold]'' You're at the Springfield Friars Club, where tonight, we're roasting you, Homer Simpson!" | ||
| + | :''[The audience applauds.]'' | ||
| + | :'''Homer''': "Are the proceeds going to charity?" | ||
| + | :'''Krusty''': "Hell, no!" | ||
| + | :'''Homer''': "Woo-hoo!" | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :''[The roasting of [[Homer]] commences. [[Bart]] and [[Lisa]] join [[Krusty]] at the podium.]'' | ||
| + | :'''Krusty''': "Now I'd like to read some telegrams from people who couldn't make it. First, we have {{w|Mark Spitz}}." | ||
| + | :'''Lisa''': "Who's Mark Spitz?" | ||
| + | :'''Bart''': "What's a telegram?" | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Mr. Burns]] takes his turn at the podium for the [[Homer]]-roast.]'' | ||
| + | :'''Burns''': "I stand here to expose the criminal ineptitude of Homer J. Simpson. ''[Homer gasps]'' Again and again he has brought this town to the brink of annihilation." | ||
| + | :''[The audience laughs hysterically.]'' | ||
| + | :'''Burns''': "Why are you laughing? His bungling has shortened your lives and mutated your children!" | ||
| + | :''[The audience laughs even more hysterically, [[Kent Brockman]] to the point of falling over backwards in his chair.]'' | ||
| + | :'''Burns''': "Just look at all of his catastrophic nincompoopery." ''[gestures at video screen]'' | ||
| + | :'''[[Carl]]''': ''[in audience, still laughing]'' "Poop." | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Krusty]] introduces the next two speakers for the roast.]'' | ||
| + | :'''Krusty''': "Now here's a couple that's been dating. Carbon-dating! ''[laughs]'' [[Grampa Simpson]] and [[Agnes Skinner]]!" | ||
| + | :''[The audience applauds as Agnes and Abe step up to the podium. Agnes is wearing an extremely low-cut dress that shows lots of cleavage.]'' | ||
| + | :'''Abe''': "Sweet Toldeo! What's keepin' that dress on?" | ||
| + | :'''[[Sideshow Mel]]''': ''[standing up and shouting]'' "The collective will of everyone in this room!" | ||
| + | :'''Agnes''': ''[angry]'' "You fruits wouldn't know what to do with me!" | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :''[The festivites are interrupted by the arrival of [[Kang]] and [[Kodos]].]'' | ||
| + | :'''[[Krusty]]''': ''[angry, confrontational]'' "Look, you weren't in dress rehearsal, so you're not in the show!" | ||
| + | :''[Kodos zaps Krusty with a raygun, giving him a huge electrical shock.]'' | ||
| + | :'''Krusty''': "This can't be good for my pacemaker." | ||
{{Season 13 Q}} | {{Season 13 Q}} | ||
[[Category:Quotes]] | [[Category:Quotes]] | ||
Revision as of 14:35, September 5, 2011
- [Homer is sitting on a bench dressed as Forrest Gump. Chief Wiggum comes along.]
- Wiggum: "Hold it right there, Forrest Plump! This town has laws against impersonating movie characters."
- Moe: [dressed as Austin Powers] "Oh, behave!"
- [Officers Lou and Eddie appear, grab Moe, and put him into a paddy wagon with Dr. Hibbert, who is dressed as Darth Vader.]
- Hibbert: "Luke, I am your father." [laughs]
- Moe: "Yeah, it's shag-a-delic."
- [Chief Wiggum takes a seat on the bench and talks with Homer.]
- Homer: "Don't you have criminals to catch?"
- Wiggum: "Hey, I'm working on it. We, uh, we got an undercover guy who's infiltrating the Mob. [looks across street] Oh, there he is now. [waves and hollers] Hey, Pete! Pete! They fixed the Coke machine."
- [The view expands to show Pete standing next to a sunglasses-wearing Fat Tony. Tony removes his sunglasses and stares menacingly at Pete, and Pete laughs nervously.]
- [The Simpson family take a blindfolded Homer to the Springfield Friars Club.]
- Krusty the Clown: "Hey, Homer! Do you remember this voice?"
- Homer: "Kathleen Turner!" [growls]
- Krusty: "No, it's me, Krusty! [pulls off Homer's blindfold] You're at the Springfield Friars Club, where tonight, we're roasting you, Homer Simpson!"
- [The audience applauds.]
- Homer: "Are the proceeds going to charity?"
- Krusty: "Hell, no!"
- Homer: "Woo-hoo!"
- [The roasting of Homer commences. Bart and Lisa join Krusty at the podium.]
- Krusty: "Now I'd like to read some telegrams from people who couldn't make it. First, we have Mark Spitz."
- Lisa: "Who's Mark Spitz?"
- Bart: "What's a telegram?"
- [Mr. Burns takes his turn at the podium for the Homer-roast.]
- Burns: "I stand here to expose the criminal ineptitude of Homer J. Simpson. [Homer gasps] Again and again he has brought this town to the brink of annihilation."
- [The audience laughs hysterically.]
- Burns: "Why are you laughing? His bungling has shortened your lives and mutated your children!"
- [The audience laughs even more hysterically, Kent Brockman to the point of falling over backwards in his chair.]
- Burns: "Just look at all of his catastrophic nincompoopery." [gestures at video screen]
- Carl: [in audience, still laughing] "Poop."
- [Krusty introduces the next two speakers for the roast.]
- Krusty: "Now here's a couple that's been dating. Carbon-dating! [laughs] Grampa Simpson and Agnes Skinner!"
- [The audience applauds as Agnes and Abe step up to the podium. Agnes is wearing an extremely low-cut dress that shows lots of cleavage.]
- Abe: "Sweet Toldeo! What's keepin' that dress on?"
- Sideshow Mel: [standing up and shouting] "The collective will of everyone in this room!"
- Agnes: [angry] "You fruits wouldn't know what to do with me!"
