Difference between revisions of "Simpson Safari/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 10:55, April 19, 2019

Homer: "Olive oil?" "Asparagus?" If your mother wasn't so fancy, we could shop at the gas station like normal people.

Bart: I need this candy for school. Candy Class.

Homer: Well, okay, but get five bags in case we eat four on the way home.

Lisa: My teacher said I need cupcakes. Cupcakes to learn.

Homer: In the cart.

Bart: I'm out of wine.

Homer: Cart.

Homer: Wait, I changed my mind. Stack it in the order I'll eat it driving home.

Bag Boy: Sir, please. I've already bagged it by color, and in order of each item's discovery by man.

Homer: The customer's always right. That's what everybody likes about us. Now mush!

Agnes Skinner: You tell 'im, Jumbo! And you, start over. I want everything in one bag.

Squeaky-voiced teen: Yes ma'am.

Agnes: But I don't want the bag to be heavy.

Squeaky-voiced teen: I don't think that's possible.

Agnes: What are you, the Possible Police? Just do it!

Homer: So hungry... There's gotta be some food left. Sulfur jerky... Cream of toast... Where did we get all this crap?

Marge: Most of it was sent by relatives who couldn't see very well.

Homer: And on my free African safari, I want to do everything on this box. I want to shoot a lion in the face, fight Muhammad Ali, and ride in a convertible with two happy zebras.

Villager: What is it, Ngongo?

Ngongo: Evil is coming.

Villager: What shall we do, Ngongo?

Ngongo: Eh... [panicky] You are Ngongo now.

Flight attendant: Attention, passengers. Please prepare for our landing in Tanzania. [gets handed a note] I'm sorry, it is now called New Zanzibar. [gets handed another note] Excuse me. It is now called Pepsi Presents New Zanzibar.

Marge: Who's Muntu?

Kitenge: He is our leader. He seized power in a bloodless coup. All smotherings.

Homer: Just like Jimmy Carter.

Kitenge: This is the earliest known fossil of a human being. It's over two million years old.

Homer: Pfft, I've got more bones than that guy. If you're trying to impress me, you've failed.

Kitenge: It's not the number of bones, sir, it's the...

Homer: You. Have. Failed.

Homer: Don't worry. Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep... in a giant blender.

Bart and Lisa: Are we insane yet? Are we insane yet? Are we insane yet?

Homer: I told you, yes. Now Bart, go to the top of that hill and see if you can spot our hotel.

Bart: Mt. Kilimanjaro?

Homer: Go!

Homer: So, I notice your home smells of feces.

Joan Bushwell: Yes.

Homer: And not just monkey feces either.

Dr. Bushwell: Could we talk about something else?

Dr. Bushwell: Every day I get up at five-thirty, watch the chimps, eat a quick lunch of roots and water, then more chimp-watching. After dark I come home and think about chimps until it's time for bed.

Homer: You must be the most boring woman on earth.

Dr. Bushwell: Possibly, but...

Homer: I mean I knew scientists wasted their lives, but geez.