Difference between revisions of "The Simpsons: Tapped Out Stonecutters content update"

Revision as of 13:22, June 3, 2014

The Simpsons: Tapped Out Stonecutters content update is the fiftieth-third content update of The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It included the Stonecutters to Tapped Out. It was released on June 3, 2014. It also gave users who missed Nighthawk Diner a new chance to buy it for 15,000.

Characters

Image Name Cost Unlock message Number 1 Let’s all get drunk and play ping pong! Number 2 60 Who decides who gets shingles? We do! Number 5 Who holds the carrot and the stick? We do! File:Number 11.png Number 11 Who knows where my teeth are now? I don’t! Number 12 Who always gets free upsized meals ? We do! Number 14 Who keeps Springfield off the map? We do! Number 21 Who keeps Springfield beer kegs filled? We do! Number 22 Who wire taps the NSA? We do! Number 29 Who rigs every Oscar night? We do! Number 36 Who makes sure the rich stay rich? We do! Number 50 Who decides which cars to boot? We do! Number 51 100 Who keeps my people under wraps? We do! Number 59 Who knows who's in and who is €œout?€ We do! Number 66 Who controls the evening news? We do! Number 67 Who gets exempted from state sales tax? We do! Number 79 Who gets funky every night? We do! Number 85 Who controls the British crown? We do! Number 314 12 Who holds back the electric car? We do! Number 600 Who keeps the metric system down? We do! Number 908 Who likes singing drinking songs? We do!

Buildings

Image Name Building time Costs Task Character(s) unlocked when built Level required 200px Abanoned Store 6s 30 Stonecutter Daycare Center 250,000 Stonecutter Lodge 16h 2,000 Number 1

Decorations

Image Name Costs Character(s) unlocked when built Level required All Seeing Eye 100 Chest of Sacred Artifacts 55 Hieroglyph Wall 500 Tube Slide 2,500

Gameplay

Game of Stones Pt. 1

What?! Moe ran out of beer?! Impossible! That's like Miley Cyrus running out of tounge poses! Apu, two chases of your cheapest beer! Nothing fancy, just something to make me woozy and bloated. I would love to sell you dangerous quantities of alcohol. Especially since you always stumble back later for snackcakes, lotto tickets and those adult diaper wipes. But all the bottles of alcohol in my store mysteriously exploded. And the walls behind the alcohol have mysteriously developed baseball bat dents. So there's no booze in this whole town? Oh God! I'll be forced to face like sober! None of my ideas will seem brilliant! George Lopez won't be funny at all! Number 1 Disguise Psst, I know how you could have enough alcohol to ruin TWO livers... I'll do anything you say, hooded figure I just met! Number 1 Disguise Re-build the Stonecutter Lodge! That's right! They had a microbrewery, champagne fountain and bourbon jacuzzi! Number 1 Disguise Yes, The Stoncutters invented alcolism as a way to control "cool people". And for that, I am forever grateful. I shall build the What-cha-ma-callit Lodge! The player receives "Game of Stones Pt. 1" which is to "Build the Stonecutter Lodge". It takes 16 hours.

Game of Stones Pt. 2

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark Number 1? YOU where the hooded figure? But I thought you quit The Stonecutters to from the No Homers Club? Number 1 Regrettably, the No Homers lost their clubhouse in the nuclear super-accident. I don't know how many times I'm gonna have to say this but: Sor-ry! Number 1 Yes, well, I'd like to be a Stonecutter again. Okay, but you have to do what I say. The birthmark on my butt says I'm you leader. Number 1 I prefer to think of it as your upper thigh. Do what you gotta do. The player gets a new costume to Homer which is "Number 908". Then the player receives "Game of Stones Pt. 2" which is to "Make Number 908 Be the Chosen One". It takes 4 hours. Number 1 Hey everyone! Look at The Sacred Texts! I never noticed this part here, scrawled in purple crayon! Number 1 "In the event of nuclear meltdown, the NEW leader shall be he who holds the sacred purple crayon!" Oh look, I have it right here! I don't know… that crayon looks more like a deep plum. Number 1 It also says Homer gets to keep the title of “Chosen One” and the fancy hat and… uh… this “Doors of Europe” calendar. Woohoo! It's a deal! There's a bunch of unused months on this!

Game of Stones Pt. 3

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark Number 1, you may be the leader of The Stonecutters but these days all of us take our orders from… The Sky Finger. The Sky Finger places all our buildings and sends us on our jobs. Often while he's supposed to be working no less. Number 1 Well, I shan't be doing this Sky Finger's bidding. Number 1 Sky Finger! Obey MY command! "open-bracket COLLECT underscore FROM underscore HOUSES close-bracket" The player receives "Game of Stones Pt. 3" How did you learn the code to make the Sky Finger do THAT?! Number 1 *shrug* I know a lot of nerds.

Game of Stones Pt. 4

The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 1

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark Dad? What have you been up to lately? Well, I certainly haven't been helping a madman brainwash the world, if that's what you're insinuating. Hmm, the townspeople have been acting very strange lately. This looks like a job for Lisa Simpson, Meddling Kid! The player receives "The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 1" which is to "Make Lisa Look for Clues". It takes 24 hours. This is interesting: some sort of… stone. Its edges are straight as if it had been… cut. And there's something etched onto the surface. I've seen this symbol before, but where? Lisa? You know you're talking to yourself, right? Yes, I'm figuring out a mystery! OOh, that's fine then. The doctor says as long as you KNOW there's no one there, you're still considered normal. ...

The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 2

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark I need to find out more about this symbol. This calls for a trip to the library. And while I'm there, I'll see if they got that new translation of War and Peace. I mean, a girl's got to have some fun! The player receives "The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 2" which is to "Build Springfield Library" and "Make Lisa Research the Symbol". It takes 24 hours. Strange. This symbol pops up at turning points in American History. Here it is at a pilgrim settlement. Here it is at the Battle Of Gettysburg. Here it is when that Real Housewife, Nene, got cast on an actual TV show and-- *gasp* Dad?! What are you doing in the library?! Uh... I'm certainly not reading this giant book about witchcraft and Masonic Lodges! I'll just put this back on the bottom shelf… Dad! When you bend over, your pants slide down and the whole library can see your butt cr-- OH MY GOD! Your birthmark! It's the symbol! I call it my Stonecutter mark. The Stonecutters! Of course! Now I just have to figure out-- Dad, please! Pull your pants up and your shirt down. Aw, you sound just like your mother.

The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 3

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark Bart, I need you to break into the Stonecutter Lodge. It's illegal and Mom and Dad can't know about it. You had me at “it's illegal." Great. We'll do it after Mom and Dad fall asleep. You're coming? This better not be one of those things that's supposed to make us “bond” as brother and sister. No! I swear this is just about committing a crime! Although, I can't guarantee that I won't feel closer to you after it's all done. If you do, keep it to yourself. The player receives "The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 3" which is to "Make Bart Steal Stonecutter Documents" and "Make Lisa Steal Stonecutter Documents". It takes 12 hours. Good, we've photographed all their secret files. Let's get out of here. Right after I finish this sandwich… No! That's just stealing! We're not going to—Ooh, is that Portobello mushrooms and hummus? Well, seeing as how we've already broken and entered… Gimme that!

The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 4

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark Okay, we've completed our little caper, now comes the fun part: Reading through the documents and analyzing the data! Yes. That does sound fun. I'll read in my room. With the sound of a very loud video game to cover the noise of all my, you know, analyzing. The player receives "The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 4" which is to "Make Lisa Deduce the Stonecutter Plot" and "Make Bart "Help" Lisa". It takes 24 hours. Bart! I've figured it out. The leader of The Stonecutters is keeping all the people of Springfield distracted with inane tasks! Huh? Sorry, I wasn't listening -- I was Paintballing in the Brown House. Well, while you and everyone else are pre-occupied, Number 1 is going to pass a law that gives control of Springfield to The Stonecutters! Holy cats! We saved the town! High-five, Sister! Dang! We are so good at figuring out crap! WE? All you did was shoot Nerf darts at my door and sent me videos of yourself farting. I'm taking the credit for this one!

The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 5

After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark I'll show Lisa she can't take all the credit just ‘cause she did all the work. Hey, Number 1! I'm the son of a Stonecutter. Doesn't that automatically make me a Stonecutter, too? Number 1 Listen, little boy, the rules have become somewhat fluid since the dawning of the magic purple crayon. Number 1 And soon, I alone will decide who is “automatically” anything. Not after my sister tells the town about your stupid law-changing plan! Number 1 She knows about that? Number 1 Find out what else your sister knows. After all, you are automatically one of us, right, Lil Stonecutter? The player receives "The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 5" which is to "Make Bart Spy on Lisa". It takes 24 hours.

The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 6

After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark Number 1, Lisa is planning a big rally! She's made a bunch of Anti-Stonecutters signs! Number 1 Pfft. A semi-satanic lodge with absolute power can't be taken down by hand-drawn signs! They're not hand-drawn. She printed them on her computer and glued them to really sturdy cardboard. Number 1 Oh. Okay, those you're going to have to destroy. They sound like they would really “pop.” I don't know. That seems kind of mean. Number 1 Come now, Bart, have you any idea the benefits of powerful friends? Number 1 You could trade in Milhouse for a sidekick who is every bit as subservient but less asthmatic and not afraid of birds. It's like you overheard my birthday wish. The player receives "The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 6" which is to "Make Bart Sabotage Lisa's Plan". It takes 8 hours. Bart! What are you doing? Why are you throwing paint-filled water-balloons at my signs? I didn't enjoy doing this, Lisa… Well, the ones I threw from the roof did look pretty cool when they exploded. But I had to betray you in order to achieve a higher goal... Betraying Milhouse.

The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 7

After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark I did what you wanted. Now give me my Stonecutter outfit and new sidekick. Number 1 Yes, yes, you'll receive all membership materials when you turn 21 and are able to actually be in the lodge. No fair! It'll take forever just to turn 11. I'm never going to turn 21! Number 1 A lodge is no place for a child. We serve alcohol and occasionally our servers dance out of their blouses. Fine. I'll see myself out. Through your secret archives! Number 1 That's the long way out, but suit yourself. The player receives "The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 7" which is to "Make Bart Plot Revenge on Stonecutters". It takes 24 hours.

The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 8

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark What do you want, Bart? Are you here to paint-balloon my saxophone? I'm here to apologize. And to give you information to help you take down The Stonecutters. I'm not sure I accept your apology. But I will accept your information. What'cha got? The player receives "The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 8" which is to "Make Bart Share Plans with Lisa". It takes 24 hours. The Stonecutters don't allow women and children to join… …so all we have to do is get women and children to vote against the Stonecutter law! That's brilliant! I was going to say we build an “adult-man-killing”-robot. But your idea sounds less messy... and more possible.

The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 9

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark Unfortunately, there aren't many women and children in Springfield since the explosion. And most of them are Premium characters. No worries. We have plenty of disguises. All the women and kids can vote a bunch of times! That's one of those ideas that is so stupid it just might work. I get those a lot! The player receives "The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 9" which is to "Make Women and Children Vote Against Stonecutter Law (x20)". It takes 8 hours. The proposition has failed by a landslide! Number 1 What?! But then all our plans have been thwarted!!!! Number 1 We have underestimated the political influence of child-sized pirates and the bearded women who wipe their faces.

The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 10

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark We managed to keep those power-hungry wolves at bay. ut how can we remain vigilant when we're constantly distracted by texts, celebrity nip slips and electronic candy? Message Perhaps, for a few minutes a day, you should take a break from your devices. Just to make sure you're not being controlled by a secret organization. EA Please ignore the previous message. Everything is fine. Never stop playing. Here are some donuts to squelch any doubt. The player receives "The Secret of the Cut Stone Pt. 10" and is award with 20

Quash Those Who Trespass Against Us

Who are those dudes in the creepy hoods? Number 1 Good lord! It's The Order! The sworn enemy of The Stonecutters! Number 1 In times past, The Stonecutters and The Order were allies. But they were torn apart by a disagreement over chopstick etiquette. Number 1 We must tap them before they tap us. Message Tap the Robed Figures walking around town to remove them from your town and earn bonus Emblems! The player receives "Quash Those Who Trespass Against Us".

For Your Security

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark The town has gotten so big its hard to find people when I need to hit them up to buy church raffle tickets. Well, Marge, you can always use the Town Census. But a Census just tells you where people live, it doesn't know where people are at all times. Er, uh, actually the new NSA-ified census knows where everyoneis and what they are doing all er, uh, time. Hmm, I'm sure that has sinister repercussions I should consider... But I can't get past how much easier raffle sales are going to be! Yay! Meassage You can now use the Town Hall to spy... er... find anyone in your Springfield! The player receives "For Your Security" which is to "Use the Town Census to Find Someone".