Difference between revisions of "The War of the Simpsons/Quotes"
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| − | {{TabQ | + | {{TabQ}} |
| − | | | + | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Lisa's Substitute|Three Men and a Comic Book|The War of the Simpsons}} |
| − | }} | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Barney]]}} ''[to [[Patty]]]'' "Hey! You're [[Homer]]'s sister-in-law, right? I remember you. But I don't remember you being so beau''[burp]''tiful!" | |
| − | : | + | :''[She sprays him in the eyes with {{W2|Mace|spray}}]'' |
| − | + | {{qf|Barney}} "Oh, ow, hey, ''[burp]'' ''[cough]'' Is that a new kind of Mace? It's really painful!" | |
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Bart]]}} Grampa! Mom was in such a hurry she forgot to give you this. It's a list of the things Lisa and I can and can't do. | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Grampa]]}} Uh-huh. Uh-huh. You're allowed to smoke cigars? | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Half a gallon of chocolate? | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Check. | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} Half a gallon of chocolate brownie fudge? | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Check. | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} Half a gallon of chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate dish? | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Yep. | ||
| + | {{qf|Grampa}} Did your mom ''really'' write that shopping list? | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} Grampa, what a question. | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} What's next, Lis? | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} Sprinkles and syrup. | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Hey Grampa, aisle 6 and step on it. | ||
| + | {{qf|Grampa}} Alright, but put out that cigar. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|[[McBain]]}} But, captain, I can't avenge my partner's death with the pea shooter. | ||
| + | {{qf|Captain}} I don't wanna hear it, McBain – tha-that cannon of yours is against regulations! In this department, we go by the book. ''[McBain fires part of the book through the wall]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|McBain}} Bye, book. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Bait Shop Clerk}} Yep, 'General Sherman'. They say he's five hundred pounds of bottom-dwelling fury, don't you know. No one knows how old he is, but if you ask me (and most people do), he's hundred years if he's a day. | ||
| + | {{qf|Customer}} And uh no one's ever caught him? | ||
| + | {{qf|Bait Shop Clerk}} Well, one fella came close. Went by the name of Homer. Seven feet tall he was, with arms like tree trunks. His eyes were like steel, cold, hard. Had a shock of hair, red like the fires of Hell... | ||
| − | + | {{Season 2|Q}} | |
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| − | {{Season 2 Q}} | ||
{{DEFAULTSORT:War of the Simpsons}} | {{DEFAULTSORT:War of the Simpsons}} | ||
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Latest revision as of 09:16, August 5, 2021
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- Barney: [to Patty] "Hey! You're Homer's sister-in-law, right? I remember you. But I don't remember you being so beau[burp]tiful!"
- [She sprays him in the eyes with Mace]
- Barney: "Oh, ow, hey, [burp] [cough] Is that a new kind of Mace? It's really painful!"
- Bart: Grampa! Mom was in such a hurry she forgot to give you this. It's a list of the things Lisa and I can and can't do.
- Grampa: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. You're allowed to smoke cigars?
- Lisa: Half a gallon of chocolate?
- Bart: Check.
- Lisa: Half a gallon of chocolate brownie fudge?
- Bart: Check.
- Lisa: Half a gallon of chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate dish?
- Bart: Yep.
- Grampa: Did your mom really write that shopping list?
- Lisa: Grampa, what a question.
- Bart: What's next, Lis?
- Lisa: Sprinkles and syrup.
- Bart: Hey Grampa, aisle 6 and step on it.
- Grampa: Alright, but put out that cigar.
- McBain: But, captain, I can't avenge my partner's death with the pea shooter.
- Captain: I don't wanna hear it, McBain – tha-that cannon of yours is against regulations! In this department, we go by the book. [McBain fires part of the book through the wall]
- McBain: Bye, book.
- Bait Shop Clerk: Yep, 'General Sherman'. They say he's five hundred pounds of bottom-dwelling fury, don't you know. No one knows how old he is, but if you ask me (and most people do), he's hundred years if he's a day.
- Customer: And uh no one's ever caught him?
- Bait Shop Clerk: Well, one fella came close. Went by the name of Homer. Seven feet tall he was, with arms like tree trunks. His eyes were like steel, cold, hard. Had a shock of hair, red like the fires of Hell...
