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The Simpsons: Tapped Out Black History content update/Premium Gameplay
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Be Original, Dummy![edit]
Be Original, Dummy! Pt. 1[edit]
After tapping on Dr. Hibbert's exclamation mark:
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Hey, Dad. I came to visit you. How's the Retirement Castle treating you?
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How do you think, you big dummy? I hate it. It's depressing, the food is bad, and I don't know if you know this, but old people smell weird.
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Oh, you don't say. I never noticed.
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Of course you don't. Cuz you're a dang fool. You were born a fool, and you're gonna die a fool. And you're just gonna fool it up all the days in between.
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Task: Make Dr. Hibbert Clench His Teeth And Be Nice to His Dad (4h, Retirement Castle)
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Dad, I'm a well-respected doctor. The best one in town.
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The town of Springfield. That's like being the smartest guy at an ATV dealership. You still a dummy!
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Alright I've had enough! You need to drop this whole "dummy" thing!
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What "dummy" thing, dummy?
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You saw one episode of Sanford and Son forty years ago, and you've been doing this angry old man bit ever since. You're a total rip off of Redd Foxx!
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Redd who?
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Redd Foxx! One of the biggest Black comedians of all time!
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Never heard of him.
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If you don't think that you're ripping him off, then you're the dummy. Goodbye, Dad!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Be Original, Dummy! Pt. 2[edit]
If the user has Lucius Sweet: After tapping on Lucius Sweet's exclamation mark: If the user doesn't have Lucius Sweet: After completing Be Original, Dummy! Pt. 1:
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Mr. Hibbert Sr. What brings you to the gym, old friend?
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Hey, Lucius. I just wanted to ask you a question. Do you think I'm a derivative rip-off of Redd Foxx?
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What? Heavens, no! That's an absurdity of the grandest scale! You're as original a character as myself, or Drederick, here.
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Yes. Super original.
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Hmmm.
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Task: Make Hibbert's Father Realize Something He Never Noticed Before (4h, Lugash's Gym, All Night Gym or Brown House)
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Wait a minute. You two are rip-off's also. Just like me!
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I am completely unsure to what you are referring to.
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Your baseless accusation is as big and crazy as my very original hair style.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Be Original, Dummy! Pt. 3[edit]
After tapping on Hibbert's Father's exclamation mark:
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I can't believe... Could it be? Have I been the... the big dummy... this whole time?
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Excuse me, sir. Are you okay? You seem to be having a senior moment of some sort, talking incoherently, with the hoyvik and the glayvin, and the surplus of ellipseeees.
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I'm sorry. I'm just coming to terms with the idea that I'm not an original character. And my friends weren't either.
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Good glayviiiiiinnn, what a startling realization. With the dawning, and the reckoning, and the eyes going wiiiiide.
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*Eyes go wide with dawning recognition*
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Task: Make Hibbert's Father Remember Who Frink Reminds Him Of (4h, Brown House)
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Oh God. You're one of them too! Your whole look and vocal ticks! It's just a total rip-off of that nerd in the old movie. What was it called? The Legume-like Professor? The Nutty Adjunct?
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Please! Stop guessing! I can't afford to get sued.
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Unoriginal characters! They're all over this town! Wolfcastle is the Exterminator! Mayor Quimby is a Kennedy! Homer Simpson used to sound like Walter Matthau!
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What are you talking about?
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Take off those glasses and talk different, you! C'mere!
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Police! Police!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Be Original, Dummy! Pt. 4[edit]
If the user has Professor Frink: After tapping on Professor Frink's exclamation mark: If the user doesn't have Professor Frink: After completing Be Original, Dummy! Pt. 3
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Oh thank Glayvin you've arrived, officers. This man is accosting me. Accusing me of being some sort of imposter.
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He is! The whole town's full of them. They're just lazy rip-offs!
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Rip-off's, eh? Sounds like this fella's off his rocker, see.
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You're supposed to be Edward G. Robinson! The gangster from the movies.
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But I'm not a gangster, pal. I'm a copper. N'yeaahh!
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Ahhhhhhh!!!!
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Task: Make Wiggum Help the Cops Calm Down Hibbert's Father (4h, Brown House)
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Whew. Thank you for calming me down, officer. I don't know what went through me. That dang fool son of mine put a crazy idea in my head. The big dummy!
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Happy to help, sir. Now, while you're calming down, I'm going to finish my crossword puzzle. Hey Lou, I need two more words. Cellist BLANK-Yo Ma, and Entourage star BLANK Grenier.
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Uh, Yo, and Adrian.
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Can you say that again, Lou? I couldn't hear you!
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YO ADRIAN!
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AHHHHH!!! The black cop talks like Sylvester Stallone for some reason! I'm losing my mind, ahahahahaha!!!!
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He knows too much.
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Get the stun gun, Lou.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Be Original, Dummy! Pt. 5[edit]
After tapping on Dr. Hibbert's exclamation mark:
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Thank you so much for bringing my father home, officers. I'll take good care of him.
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Make sure you do. We can't have him running up and down the street accusing people of being unoriginal. He's not a licensed TV critic, after all.
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You're right. Come on in, Dad. Let's make you some hot cocoa and go to bed.
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Task: Make A Shaken Hibbert's Father Come In (4h, Retirement Castle)
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I'm sorry, I was so mad about you calling me a big dummy, that I lashed out and got you all confused. You're no rip-off. You're my dad and I love you.
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I love you too, son. Y'know, I may not be sure if I'm some rip-off or not, but one thing's clear. You're a one-of-a-kind original.
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Uh, yes. One hundred percent. I'm not based on anyone disturbing at all. *chuckles*
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Quest reward: 200 and 20
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Play Musty For Me[edit]
Play Musty For Me Pt. 1[edit]
After tapping on Moe's exclamation mark:
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Uh, bad news, Stogie. My latest attempt at upscalin' this jernt has failed. I guess puttin' monocles on the rats was a misguided attempt at class. I'm gonna have to let ya go.
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That's a shame, Moe. You paid a lot for those tiny monocles. And got so many rat bites for your troubles.
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Yeah, you live and you learn I guess.
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Guess I've gotta go out and hustle up a new gig.
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Before you go, play me that favorite song o' mine.
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You got it, Moe-sephine Baker.
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Task: Make Stogie Play Moonglow (12h)
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*singing*...and now when there's moonglow way up in the blue, look down at your hands, those rats are biting you...
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Ah. I love that song. Was that last lyric always there?
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No, I'm telling you the rats are back! Look down!
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Oh God!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Play Musty For Me Pt. 2[edit]
After tapping on Stogie's exclamation mark:
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Mr. Flanders, I need a regular gig and I was wondering if the church's weekly Bingo game could use a little zazz-a-matazz.
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Well, I don't know what that is, but it could be nice to hear some solemn, depressing hymns during the game.
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Oh, I don't really know any hymns, church cat. I'll just groove to the vibe of the place and do my own thang.
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Um, okely dokely?
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Task: Make Stogie MC Bingo Night (4h, First Church of Springfield)
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*sings* ...although they say they don't like sin / they'll still cheat to get a win...
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Mrs. Skinner hates to lose / She's got a flask that's full of booze.
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ow dare you! That's medicinal gin!
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You know, Ned, I'm thinking we don't need a piano player for Bingo Night after all.
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Amen!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Play Musty For Me Pt. 3[edit]
After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark:
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A jazzy piano player like you could really class up the Krusty Burger! Maybe bring in some richer, more discerning fatsos.
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Right on. But I need to get a feel for this place so I can bring it to my work, man. My art is always a reflection of my surroundings.
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I dig it. You've got artistic integrity. I used to have that. Now I'm obscenely rich instead! Hahaha! *blows cigar smoke at Stogie*
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Task: Make Stogie Kroon at the Krusty Burger (4h, Krusty Burger)
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*sings* Though the food, it may be fast / Health Inspection, it won't pass.
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There's a monkey working fries / and he's scratching his behind...
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*screech screech*
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This silver-tongued crooner is right! Let's get outta here!
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Alright, Snitch Corea, get your enormous piano and scram!
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Hey, that's a pretty good reference. Did you write that joke?
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No, I had Mel write me some jazz puns while you were playing.
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These should count as billable hours!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Play Musty For Me Pt. 4[edit]
After tapping on Comic Book Guy's exclamation mark:
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I am not sure I need a piano player in my comic book shop. It would be like the Dark Knight doing a crossover with Huckleberry Hound.
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Come on, man. This place needs a little sophistication. We both know the future of sequential art is manga and original graphic novels for the youth market.
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Hm. You make a fair point. But if you want to play my "scene", you'll need to absorb this vast quanta of source material.
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I'm on it.
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Task: Make Stogie Read Piles of Comic Books (8h, Android's Dungeon)
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*sings* ...plenty of power fantasies for boys / but when women and people of color share the toys...
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...the fanboys get all steamed with rage / acting well below their age...
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Though the melody is jaunty, I will not have such apt criticisms voiced in my store. Begone!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Play Musty For Me Pt. 5[edit]
After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark:
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I'd prefer a daring harpsichordist, but I suppose a pianiste would add a certain air of dignity to this filthy atom factory.
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Say no more. But before I begin to play, I need to connect with the soul of your operation so I can express it in song.
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Connect away, my good man. I once had Anton LaVey come in to do the same thing.
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Task: Make Mr Burns Hide Nuclear Waste In Stogie's Piano (4h, Control Building)
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*sings* ...He's a misanthropic mummy, all he cares about is money...
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...he'll burn the Earth down to an ash, just to make a little cash...
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Shall I release the hounds on him, sir?
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What for? Never has my essence been so grandly expressed through the sultry medium of smooth jazz.
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...and he's as ugly as he's rich/ Let's toss him into a ditch/ And cover it with wet cement...
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On second thought, get the hounds ready. But wait til the end. It is a catchy tune.
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Yes, sir.
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Quest reward: 200 and 20
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Mega Church Gil Deal[edit]
After tapping on Gil's exclamation mark:
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Ever since I became a church-goer, things are looking up.
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You can't just come to the breakfasts after service. You have to come to the part where you give money to us as well!
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Help Ol' Gil pay his tithes and get in good with the deacons. Whaddya say?
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On offer accepted:
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That's right! Cast your bread upon the water, and it will return to you threefold.
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And it will help the Patriarch buy that helicopter that he's had his eye on.
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On offer declined:
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I guess Ol' Gil's prayers won't be answered this time. *sigh*Amen.
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Keepin' the Faith[edit]
Keepin' the Faith Pt. 1[edit]
After tapping on The Patriarch's exclamation mark:
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Tim, your parishioner numbers are down again, and your flock just isn't as fulsome as we're looking for.
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There's a lot of competition these days, Patriarch, what with all the new streaming services.
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I haven't even started the new season of "Marvelous Mrs. Manson". It's not easy to motivate the masses.
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Not so, Tim. You just need to bring your A Game – watch and learn!
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Task: Make the Patriarch Give Powerful Sermon (12h, Mega Church)
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And that's how it's done! *mic drop*
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Careful! I'm still making payments on that thing!
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You just have to fire 'em up with the word of God. And toss a couple of lit firecrackers to wake em up.
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It's easy to come in and do a rousing guest spot, but I'm a recurring character in these people's lives.
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You know, Tim, maybe it's time I found a Springfielder who can really inspire the supplicants of this suburb.
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Ha! Good luck with that! There's no one in this town as committed to the word of the Lord, who also fits my vestments.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Keepin' the Faith Pt. 2[edit]
After tapping on The Patriarch's exclamation mark:
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Marge Simpson, I hear you're a pious woman who likes to plant it in the pew every Sunday. Would you be interested in answering a higher calling?
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Selling medicinal marijuana? I'm doing that late in season 31.
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No, I mean taking over as Pastor.
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Hm. Let me consider that while I bake some cookies.
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Let me give you a hand with that while we chat...
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Task: Make the Patriarch Bake Religious Martyr Cookies (4h, Simpson House) Task: Make Marge Bake Delicious Non-Religious Cookies (4h, Simpson House)
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Those are some...interesting cookies, Patriarch.
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This Saint Bartholomew cookie is awesome! Is the pink frosting supposed to be his flayed skin?
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Heh heh! Yes it is, young man! Good eye! So Marge, have you considered my offer?
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Are there any perks to joining the ministry?
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You get to hear a lot of juicy deathbed confessions. Did you know Bleeding Gums Murphy killed a hobo in a hit and run?
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Yikes. Um... I think I'll pass.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Keepin' the Faith Pt. 3[edit]
After tapping on The Patriarch's exclamation mark:
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I see that you are popular with the youth of Springfield. We could use that in the Church. Have you ever considered becoming a minister?
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Hmm...I have always felt that I was destined for a larger emporium. My counter has been feeling a little tight lately. Literally.
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There's lots of room behind a podium. And in a nice purple robe.
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I do like the idea of not wearing pants to work.
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You already deal in books about magical powers. Just come do it for our team.
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Hmm. Tell me about your main characters, their special powers, and their one weakness.
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Task: Make The Patriarch Struggle to Draw Similarities Between Superheroes and the Bible (4h, Android's Dungeon) If the user Comic Book Guy: Task: Make Comic Book Guy Skeptically Read the Bible (4h, Android's Dungeon)
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Well, what do you think of all that, young man?
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Fairly ridiculous. What kind of a father doesn't avenge his own son's death. John Wick, he is not.
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And while your "Satan" has some potential as a villain, he lacks the nuance and pathos of a Dr. Crab.
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Well, if you ever change your mind, come by the church.
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I will continue to worship at the altar of Fat Thor, thank you very much.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Keepin' the Faith Pt. 4[edit]
If the user has Herman: After tapping on Herman's exclamation mark: If the user doesn't have Herman: After completing Keepin' the Faith Pt. 3
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Hey Padre, I hear you've been nosin' around town quite a bit lately. Something is up, isn't it? Biblical plague coming? Frogs? Locusts?
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No, nothing like that. I'm seeking a newly energized evangelical to help elevate Springfield's righteousness in these troubled times.
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Say no more -- I'm your man! I've been preparing for this day for a long time.
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Um, really? Why, that's good news for the Good News! Let's head over to the church.
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Sure thing, boss. But first, I need your help with a couple things...
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Task: Make the Patriarch Bless Doomsday Supplies (4h, Mega Church)
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You know, Herman, I feel like maybe we're not on the same page here.
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Sure we are. We're both itching for the end of the world. Except you're expecting a savior, and I'm expecting a fortune. People are gonna need guns and canned beans aplenty. And toilet paper.
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*leaves*
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Where you goin'? I have a whole room full of MRB's!
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MRB's?
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Meals Ready to Bless.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Keepin' the Faith Pt. 5[edit]
If the user has Sideshow Bob: After tapping on Sideshow Bob's exclamation mark: If the user doesn't have Sideshow Bob: After completing Keepin' the Faith Pt. 4
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Hello, my good man! I hear you're in the market for a motivated maven to move this town's citizenry into a more moral state.
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Hmmm. No offense, Mr. Sideshow, but I'm not sure you're the type of Pastor we're looking for.
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Ah, but who better than one who has fallen low and risen again.
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Hm. Perhaps you're right. Who better to lead a congregation than a prodigal son.
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Like the mighty rake that whacks me, no one has fallen and risen more than I!
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Task: Make the Patriarch Watch Crazy Christian Cavalcades (4h, Mega Church) If the user has Sideshow Bob: Task: Make Sideshow Bob Step on Seventeen Rakes (4h, Mega Church)
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So, your Patriarch-ness, how soon would I be able to reach out to troubled families to offer one-on-one counseling.
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Well...
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One family in particular, the Simpson family, could benefit from a visit. I hear they have a wayward son that needs to be... DEALT with.
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Why are you sharpening those enormous knives? Where did they even come from?
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An ankle holster. My brother got it for me for the holidays and I can't live without it.
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The HOLIDAYS? No pastor of mine is going to refer to Christmas as the holidays. Don't you know there's a war going on, according to one dubious cable news channel? Get lost, pal.
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How goes the quest to find my replacement, sir?
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Looks like you're still in business...for now.
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I told you I'm not easily replaceable. This town has got more nuts than a squirrel's digestive tract.
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I agree, Reverend. I agree.
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Quest reward: 200 and 20
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Dinner for Two[edit]
Dinner for Two Pt. 1[edit]
After tapping on Mabel Simpson's exclamation mark:
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Virgil, let's make a wager.
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Alright, whatcha got?
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If you can beat me at games of my choosing then I'll cook dinner, but if I win you make us some of your famous wheel cakes.
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I like those odds. You're on.
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Don't be so confident. The first game is helping Abraham with his schooling.
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How is that a game?
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Task: Make Mabel Simpson Home School Abraham (8h, Brown House) If the user has Virgil Simpson: Task: Make Virgil Simpson Fail at Teaching Math (8h, Brown House)
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*laughing* Looks like I win.
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He only knew the answers because you bribed him with my wheel cakes! I'll win the next one.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Dinner for Two Pt. 2[edit]
After tapping on Mabel Simpson's exclamation mark:
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The second game is hide and seek.
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That'll be easy for us both. We both stand out like a jackrabbit in a gopher field.
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*putting on a stove pipe hat* Speak for yourself. You're it!
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Task: Make Mabel Simpson Hide in Plain Sight (24h) If the user has Virgil Simpson: Task: Make Virgil Simpson Hide in Wagon (8h, Mabel's Wagon)
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Ha! I found you. You almost fooled me for a second. I thought you were Abraham Lincoln.
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*groans* Women love to be compared to him.
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Hey, you're the one who put the hat on!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Dinner for Two Pt. 3[edit]
If the user has Virgil Simpson: After tapping on Virgil Simpson's exclamation mark: If the user doesn't have Virgil Simpson: After completing Dinner for Two Pt. 2:
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Looks like we're even.
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Seems that way. But we won't be after the logrolling contest!
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I hope you're in the mood for a swim, there's no way I'm losing.
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Task: Make Mabel Simpson Have Logrolling Contest (4h, Springfield Lake) If the user has Virgil Simpson: Task: Make Virgil Simpson Have Logrolling Contest (4h, Springfield Lake)
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*climbing out of the river* Ew some water got in my mouth.
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*laughing* I did warn you, I'm a professional at this.
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Okay, Mr. Professional. Let's see how you like the taste of river water.
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*pulls Virgil into river*
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Dinner for Two Pt. 4[edit]
If the user has Virgil Simpson: After tapping on Virgil Simpson's exclamation mark: If the user doesn't have Virgil Simpson:After completing Dinner for Two Pt. 3:
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That was fun, we should do stuff like that more often.
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It's not over yet. We have two more games to play.
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*sigh* Don't be a sore loser. It's over.
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We have to go hunting for food either way. May as well keep the contest going.
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Fine.
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Task: Make Mabel Go Hunting (12h) If the user has Virgil Simpson: Task: Make Virgil Simpson Go Hunting (12h)
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Since your basket is empty do you think you can carry two of mine?
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*laughing* Anything for you. I guess hunting isn't my calling.
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Probably not, but you're still the logrolling king.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Dinner for Two Pt. 5[edit]
After tapping on Mabel Simpson's exclamation mark:
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We need a challenge that is the ultimate tie breaker.
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I have an idea, how about something easy...
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I got it! We'll race to the border and back. Loser cooks up the dinner I hunted.
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Mabel, wait. I need to ask you something.
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*grabbing coat* Ask me after I beat you!
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Mabel, will you marry me? *gets on one knee*
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Oh, Virgil. I'm so happy.
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Happy that you won our little contest, or that we're getting married?
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What do you think? *kisses Virgil*
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Task: Make Mabel Simpson Race to Canadian Border (1h, Canadian Border) If the user has Virgil Simpson: Task: Make Virgil Simpson Propose (24h, Canadian Border, Mabel Simpson) Quest reward: 200 and 20
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