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The Cantankerous Curator

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The Cantankerous Curator
Tapped Out Geriatric Park Burns Sidebar.png
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 11
Update: Treehouse of Horror XXXII
Required characters: Geriatric Park Burns
Optional characters: Bart, Bullies, Rich People, Lackeys
Internal name(s): TheCantankerousCurator
ID(s): 249056 - 249060


The Cantankerous Curator is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Treehouse of Horror XXXII content update. It requires Geriatric Park Burns to be obtained.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark
Geriatric Park Burns - Happy Ah, it's good to be the impresario of Geriatric Park! The curator of captive curmudgeons as far as my eyes can see.
Smithers - Sad Sir, your eyesight isn't well. You may not see that Geriatric Park ticket sales are down 20%, and merchandise sales are down 40%.
Geriatric Park Burns - Surprised What?! Is there some problem with the sweatshop-produced junk we're hawking to the rubes?
Smithers Although this stuffed duckbill Hadrosaur Bouvier with authentic denture action is fabulous, the sea urchin Selmas and porcupine Pattys don't make loveable plushies.
Geriatric Park Burns - Annoyed Let me see those prickly — OOCH-OUCH!
Task: "Make Geriatric Park Burns Review Geriatric Park Merch". The job takes 4 hours.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark
Geriatric Park Burns These trinkets and doodads are delightful. They should be flying off the shelves!
Smithers Maybe we just need more shelves...more attractions that can draw in park visitors.
Geriatric Park Burns Hmm...you're right. I don't normally mix with the hoi polloi but let me see what I can find out there.
Smithers - Excited I'll be right with you, sir.
Geriatric Park Burns And frighten off the flora and fauna?! I'll do this on my own, Smithers.
Task: "Make Geriatric Park Burns Search for New Park Subjects". The job takes 5 hours.
Geriatric Park Burns - Annoyed Blast! Where does one find all the interesting zoo subjects in this infernal town?
Santa's Little Helper - Sad *whines*
Geriatric Park Burns All right, whatever you are, you can come.
Barney - Drunk *burp*
Geriatric Park Burns - Annoyed And whatever you are, you can come too.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark
Geriatric Park Burns - Happy I've done it, Smithers! This should give the park the jolt of fresh blood it needs to invigorate ticket and merchandise sales!
Smithers - Sad Sir, you have a stray dog, a drunk, two angry raccoons, and a broken eight-track tape.
Geriatric Park Burns - Happy Fascinating, aren't they?
Task: "Make Geriatric Park Burns Display His New Exhibits". The job takes place at Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Visitors Center, Geriatric Park Front Gate, Cretaceous Park, Control Building, Cooling Towers, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
Santa's Little Helper *barks*
Bart - Surprised Hey, that's my dog!
Barney - Drunk *burp*
Homer - Surprised And that's my drunk!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark
Marge - Annoyed Mr. Burns, you can't display people and animals like this!
Geriatric Park Burns - Happy What was good for P.T. Barnum is good enough for me!
Geriatric Park Burns Plus, I have their legally-binding signatures on this official-looking document.
Lisa - Nagging Dog claw marks can't count as signatures!
Bart - Sad It's honestly more readable than Homer's signature.
Geriatric Park Burns - Annoyed Fine! Find me some other specimens worthy of exhibition. Then your dog and booze-boozled friend can go.
Bart I got an idea.
If Bart is owned: Task: "Make Bart Convince Punks to Hang at Geriatric Park". The job takes place at Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Visitors Center, Geriatric Park Front Gate, Cretaceous Park, Control Building, Cooling Towers, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
If any Bullies are owned: Task: "Make Delinquents Hang Out at Geriatric Park" (x3). The job takes place at Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Visitors Center, Geriatric Park Front Gate, Cretaceous Park, Control Building, Cooling Towers, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Geriatric Park Burns Display Delinquents". The job takes place at Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Visitors Center, Geriatric Park Front Gate, Cretaceous Park, Control Building, Cooling Towers, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
Geriatric Park Burns - Happy Come one, come all! Gaze upon the spectacle of captive delinquents!
Nelson - Sad Why are we here again?
Dolph Free pizza rolls.
Jimbo And he might turn us into dinosaurs.
Nelson - Happy That's gnarly...but pizza rolls...awesome!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark
Geriatric Park Burns - Happy Look, Smithers! Park visitors are coming in droves.
Marge - Angry Mr. Burns, I can't in good conscience let you keep displaying those boys!
Geriatric Park Burns - Annoyed But this time I have real signatures!
Smithers - Sad Children can't sign legally-binding agreements, sir. They have rights.
Geriatric Park Burns - Annoyed Children have rights? When did this happen?
Geriatric Park Burns - Annoyed Who CAN I legally force to be put on display?
Smithers Any adult who has signed a personal services contract...not drunk.
Geriatric Park Burns - Happy That's very interesting...sober Smithers.
Smithers - Sad Oh, dear.
Task: "Make Geriatric Park Burns Unveil Lackey Park Exhibit". The job takes place at Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Visitors Center, Geriatric Park Front Gate, Cretaceous Park, Control Building, Cooling Towers, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
If any Rich People are owned: Task: "Make Rich People Enjoy Lackey Park" (x3). The job takes place at Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Visitors Center, Geriatric Park Front Gate, Cretaceous Park, Control Building, Cooling Towers, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
If any Lackeys are owned: Task: "Make Lackeys Endure Public Humiliation" (x3). The job takes place at Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Visitors Center, Geriatric Park Front Gate, Cretaceous Park, Control Building, Cooling Towers, or a Visitable Home and takes hours.
Aristotle Amadopolis I gotta hand it to you, Monty, this time you've really outdone yourself.
Geriatric Park Burns - Happy Thank you! I'm rather pleased with the result myself.
Smithers - Sad Sir, how long are you going to display us like this?
Sideshow Mel This is humiliating. I am classically trained!
Geriatric Park Burns - Happy It must be feeding time. Lackey want a cracker?
Smithers - Sad *grumble*
Quest reward: Cash200 and XP20