 
The Cantankerous Curator
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| The Cantankerous Curator
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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The Cantankerous Curator is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Treehouse of Horror XXXII content update. It requires Geriatric Park Burns to be obtained.
Dialogue[edit]
| After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark
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Ah, it's good to be the impresario of Geriatric Park! The curator of captive curmudgeons as far as my eyes can see.
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Sir, your eyesight isn't well. You may not see that Geriatric Park ticket sales are down 20%, and merchandise sales are down 40%.
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What?! Is there some problem with the sweatshop-produced junk we're hawking to the rubes?
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Although this stuffed duckbill Hadrosaur Bouvier with authentic denture action is fabulous, the sea urchin Selmas and porcupine Pattys don't make loveable plushies.
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Let me see those prickly — OOCH-OUCH!
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| Task: "Make Geriatric Park Burns Review Geriatric Park Merch". The job takes 4 hours.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark
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These trinkets and doodads are delightful. They should be flying off the shelves!
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Maybe we just need more shelves...more attractions that can draw in park visitors.
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Hmm...you're right. I don't normally mix with the hoi polloi but let me see what I can find out there.
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I'll be right with you, sir.
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And frighten off the flora and fauna?! I'll do this on my own, Smithers.
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| Task: "Make Geriatric Park Burns Search for New Park Subjects". The job takes 5 hours.
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Blast! Where does one find all the interesting zoo subjects in this infernal town?
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*whines*
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All right, whatever you are, you can come.
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*burp*
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And whatever you are, you can come too.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark
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I've done it, Smithers! This should give the park the jolt of fresh blood it needs to invigorate ticket and merchandise sales!
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Sir, you have a stray dog, a drunk, two angry raccoons, and a broken eight-track tape.
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Fascinating, aren't they?
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| Task: "Make Geriatric Park Burns Display His New Exhibits". The job takes place at Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Visitors Center, Geriatric Park Front Gate, Cretaceous Park, Control Building, Cooling Towers, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
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*barks*
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Hey, that's my dog!
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*burp*
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And that's my drunk!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark
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Mr. Burns, you can't display people and animals like this!
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What was good for P.T. Barnum is good enough for me!
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Plus, I have their legally-binding signatures on this official-looking document.
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Dog claw marks can't count as signatures!
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It's honestly more readable than Homer's signature.
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Fine! Find me some other specimens worthy of exhibition. Then your dog and booze-boozled friend can go.
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I got an idea.
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If Bart is owned: Task: "Make Bart Convince Punks to Hang at Geriatric Park". The job takes place at Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Visitors Center, Geriatric Park Front Gate, Cretaceous Park, Control Building, Cooling Towers, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If any Bullies are owned: Task: "Make Delinquents Hang Out at Geriatric Park" (x3). The job takes place at Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Visitors Center, Geriatric Park Front Gate, Cretaceous Park, Control Building, Cooling Towers, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Geriatric Park Burns Display Delinquents". The job takes place at Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Visitors Center, Geriatric Park Front Gate, Cretaceous Park, Control Building, Cooling Towers, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
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Come one, come all! Gaze upon the spectacle of captive delinquents!
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Why are we here again?
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Free pizza rolls.
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And he might turn us into dinosaurs.
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That's gnarly...but pizza rolls...awesome!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark
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Look, Smithers! Park visitors are coming in droves.
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Mr. Burns, I can't in good conscience let you keep displaying those boys!
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But this time I have real signatures!
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Children can't sign legally-binding agreements, sir. They have rights.
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Children have rights? When did this happen?
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Who CAN I legally force to be put on display?
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Any adult who has signed a personal services contract...not drunk.
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That's very interesting...sober Smithers.
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Oh, dear.
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Task: "Make Geriatric Park Burns Unveil Lackey Park Exhibit". The job takes place at Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Visitors Center, Geriatric Park Front Gate, Cretaceous Park, Control Building, Cooling Towers, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If any Rich People are owned: Task: "Make Rich People Enjoy Lackey Park" (x3). The job takes place at Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Visitors Center, Geriatric Park Front Gate, Cretaceous Park, Control Building, Cooling Towers, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If any Lackeys are owned: Task: "Make Lackeys Endure Public Humiliation" (x3). The job takes place at Geriatric Park Dome, Geriatric Park Visitors Center, Geriatric Park Front Gate, Cretaceous Park, Control Building, Cooling Towers, or a Visitable Home and takes hours.
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I gotta hand it to you, Monty, this time you've really outdone yourself.
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Thank you! I'm rather pleased with the result myself.
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Sir, how long are you going to display us like this?
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This is humiliating. I am classically trained!
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It must be feeding time. Lackey want a cracker?
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*grumble*
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Quest reward: 200 and 20
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