Difference between revisions of "I Love Lisa/Quotes"
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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| − | + | |episode=I Love Lisa | |
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| − | + | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Brother from the Same Planet|Duffless}} | |
| − | ''' | + | :'''[[Ralph]]''': The doctor said I wouldn't have any nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there! |
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | :'''Ralph''': I Choo-Choo-Choose you. |
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | :'''[[Moe]]''': ''[reads his valentine]'' "To Moe. From your secret admirer." |
| + | :'''[[Barney]]''': Yoo hoo! | ||
| + | :'''Moe''': Oh God, no! | ||
| + | :''[Barney blows a kiss and belches]'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | :'''Guy''': Where do you want these beef hearts? |
| − | + | :'''[[Lunchlady Doris]]''': On the floor. | |
| − | ''' | + | :'''Guy''': It doesn't look very clean. |
| + | :'''Lunchlady Doris''': Just do your job, heart boy. | ||
| + | :''[The man drops the hearts from the truck to the floor]'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | :'''[[Groundskeeper Willie]]''': I didn't cry when me own father was hung for stealing a pig, but I'll cry now. |
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | :'''Lisa''': Ralph thinks I like him but I only gave him a valentine because I felt sorry for him. |
| + | :'''[[Homer]]''': Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it? | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | :'''Homer''': You know, one day honest citizens are going to stand up to you crooked cops. | |
| − | + | :'''[[Chief Wiggum]]''': They are!? Oh no! Ha-have they set a date? | |
| − | '' | ||
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| − | ''' | ||
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | :'''Ralph''': ''[to Lisa]'' Uh... so... do you like... stuff? |
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| − | ''' | ||
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | '''Miss Hoover''': | + | :'''Ralph''': My parents won't let me use scissors. ''[kids laugh at him]'' |
| − | + | :'''[[Miss Hoover]]''': The children have a right to laugh at you, Ralph. These things couldn't cut butter. Now, take out your red crayons. | |
| − | '''Ralph''': Miss Hoover | + | :'''Ralph''': Miss Hoover. I don't have a red crayon. |
| + | :'''Miss Hoover''': Why not? | ||
| + | :'''Ralph''': I ate it. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | :'''[[Grampa]]''': Bah, this is just another Hallmark holiday cooked up to sell cards. |
| − | + | :'''[[Jasper]]''': Aww... a Valentine from my daughter! | |
| − | ''' | + | :'''Grampa''': Can I have the envelope? |
| − | |||
| − | ''' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | :'''Miss Hoover''': You may now exchange Valentines. |
| + | :'''Ralph''': Miss Hoover, I glued my head to my shoulder. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | :'''Ms. Hoover''': First, we're going to construct paper mailboxes to store the valentines. |
| + | :'''Lisa''': Isn't that just pointless busy-work? | ||
| + | :'''Ms. Hoover''': ''[taps her nose]'' Bull's-eye. Get cracking. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | :'''[[Principal Skinner]]''': Attention everyone, this is Principal Skinner. Some student (possibly Bart Simpson) has been circulating candy hearts with crude off-color sentiments. | |
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| − | '' | ||
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | :'''[[Krusty]]''': Hey, kids! Don't forget to watch my 29th Anniversary Show, featuring clips like this one of Sideshow Mel wacked out on wowie-sauce! | |
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| − | '' | ||
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | '''Homer''': | + | :''[About Krusty's 29th Anniversary Show]'' |
| + | :'''Bart''': I'd give anything to go to that show! | ||
| + | :'''Homer''': I'd sell my first-born son! | ||
| + | :'''Bart''': Hey! | ||
| + | :'''Homer''': You'll do as you're told! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | '''Lisa''' [when | + | :'''Lisa''': What do you say to a boy to let him know you're not interested? |
| − | + | :'''[[Marge]]''': Well, honey, when I... | |
| − | '''Homer''': | + | :'''Homer''': ''[puts up a hand]'' Let me handle this, Marge, I've heard 'em all. I like you as a friend... I think we should see other people... I no speak English... |
| + | :'''Lisa''': I get the idea. | ||
| + | :'''Homer''': I'm married to the sea... I don't want to kill you, but I will. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | :'''Homer''': Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | :'''Lisa''' ''[when Ralph shows up at the Simpson house]'' Just make up some excuse! ''[runs to hide]'' | |
| − | + | :'''Homer''': ''[answering the door]'' She's in the can. Go away. | |
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| − | '''Lisa''' | ||
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| − | ''' | ||
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---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | :'''Bart''': Oh it isn't fair. I'm ten times the Krusty fan you are. I even have the Krusty home pregnancy test! |
| − | + | :'''Lisa''': I'm not sure if I should go. I don't even like him. | |
| − | ''' | + | :'''Bart''': You're right, Lis, you shouldn't go. It wouldn't be honest. I'll go, disguised as you. |
| + | :'''Lisa''': What if he wants to hold hands? | ||
| + | :'''Bart''': I'm prepared to make that sacrifice. | ||
| + | :'''Lisa''': What if he wants a kiss? | ||
| + | :'''Bart''': I'm prepared to make that sacrifice. | ||
| + | :'''Lisa''': What if he...? | ||
| + | :'''Bart''': You don't want to know how far I'll go. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | '''Lisa''': | + | :'''Lisa''': Dad, is it all right to take things from people you don't like? |
| − | + | :'''Homer''': Sure it is, honey. You do mean stealing, don't you? | |
| − | ''' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | :'''Lisa''': That story isn't suitable for children. |
| + | :'''Chief Wiggum''': Really? I keep my pants on in this version. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | :'''Principal Skinner''': Good evening, everyone, and welcome to a wonderful evening of theater and picking up after yourselves. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | :'''Miss Hoover''': Bart, do you want to play John Wilkes Booth, or do you want to act like a maniac? |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | :'''Ralph''': Leave me alone. I'm here to play George Washington. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | ''' | + | :'''Bart''' ''[after Miss Hoover carries him offstage]'' Unhand me, Yankee! |
---- | ---- | ||
| + | :'''Ralph''': ''[reads Lisa's card]'' "Let's 'bee' friends." It says, "bee" and it has a picture of a bee on it. ''[laughs]'' | ||
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{{Season 4 Q}} | {{Season 4 Q}} | ||
[[Category:Quotes]] | [[Category:Quotes]] | ||
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[[Category:Real World Articles]] | [[Category:Real World Articles]] | ||
Revision as of 19:03, September 15, 2010
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- Ralph: The doctor said I wouldn't have any nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there!
- Ralph: I Choo-Choo-Choose you.
- Moe: [reads his valentine] "To Moe. From your secret admirer."
- Barney: Yoo hoo!
- Moe: Oh God, no!
- [Barney blows a kiss and belches]
- Guy: Where do you want these beef hearts?
- Lunchlady Doris: On the floor.
- Guy: It doesn't look very clean.
- Lunchlady Doris: Just do your job, heart boy.
- [The man drops the hearts from the truck to the floor]
- Groundskeeper Willie: I didn't cry when me own father was hung for stealing a pig, but I'll cry now.
- Lisa: Ralph thinks I like him but I only gave him a valentine because I felt sorry for him.
- Homer: Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?
- Homer: You know, one day honest citizens are going to stand up to you crooked cops.
- Chief Wiggum: They are!? Oh no! Ha-have they set a date?
- Ralph: [to Lisa] Uh... so... do you like... stuff?
- Ralph: My parents won't let me use scissors. [kids laugh at him]
- Miss Hoover: The children have a right to laugh at you, Ralph. These things couldn't cut butter. Now, take out your red crayons.
- Ralph: Miss Hoover. I don't have a red crayon.
- Miss Hoover: Why not?
- Ralph: I ate it.
- Grampa: Bah, this is just another Hallmark holiday cooked up to sell cards.
- Jasper: Aww... a Valentine from my daughter!
- Grampa: Can I have the envelope?
- Miss Hoover: You may now exchange Valentines.
- Ralph: Miss Hoover, I glued my head to my shoulder.
- Ms. Hoover: First, we're going to construct paper mailboxes to store the valentines.
- Lisa: Isn't that just pointless busy-work?
- Ms. Hoover: [taps her nose] Bull's-eye. Get cracking.
- Principal Skinner: Attention everyone, this is Principal Skinner. Some student (possibly Bart Simpson) has been circulating candy hearts with crude off-color sentiments.
- Krusty: Hey, kids! Don't forget to watch my 29th Anniversary Show, featuring clips like this one of Sideshow Mel wacked out on wowie-sauce!
- [About Krusty's 29th Anniversary Show]
- Bart: I'd give anything to go to that show!
- Homer: I'd sell my first-born son!
- Bart: Hey!
- Homer: You'll do as you're told!
- Lisa: What do you say to a boy to let him know you're not interested?
- Marge: Well, honey, when I...
- Homer: [puts up a hand] Let me handle this, Marge, I've heard 'em all. I like you as a friend... I think we should see other people... I no speak English...
- Lisa: I get the idea.
- Homer: I'm married to the sea... I don't want to kill you, but I will.
- Homer: Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.
- Lisa [when Ralph shows up at the Simpson house] Just make up some excuse! [runs to hide]
- Homer: [answering the door] She's in the can. Go away.
- Bart: Oh it isn't fair. I'm ten times the Krusty fan you are. I even have the Krusty home pregnancy test!
- Lisa: I'm not sure if I should go. I don't even like him.
- Bart: You're right, Lis, you shouldn't go. It wouldn't be honest. I'll go, disguised as you.
- Lisa: What if he wants to hold hands?
- Bart: I'm prepared to make that sacrifice.
- Lisa: What if he wants a kiss?
- Bart: I'm prepared to make that sacrifice.
- Lisa: What if he...?
- Bart: You don't want to know how far I'll go.
- Lisa: Dad, is it all right to take things from people you don't like?
- Homer: Sure it is, honey. You do mean stealing, don't you?
- Lisa: That story isn't suitable for children.
- Chief Wiggum: Really? I keep my pants on in this version.
- Principal Skinner: Good evening, everyone, and welcome to a wonderful evening of theater and picking up after yourselves.
- Miss Hoover: Bart, do you want to play John Wilkes Booth, or do you want to act like a maniac?
- Ralph: Leave me alone. I'm here to play George Washington.
- Bart [after Miss Hoover carries him offstage] Unhand me, Yankee!
- Ralph: [reads Lisa's card] "Let's 'bee' friends." It says, "bee" and it has a picture of a bee on it. [laughs]
