The printable version is no longer supported and may have rendering errors. Please update your browser bookmarks and please use the default browser print function instead.
| Muscularly Endowed Privateer
|
| Tapped Out Quest Information
|
Muscularly Endowed Privateer is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Time Traveling Toaster content update. It requires the Sexy Pirate to be obtained.
Dialogue
Pt. 1
| After tapping on Sexy Pirate's exclamation mark
|
|
Hoist up the mainsail, me mateys, because thar... she... blows.
|
|
You have some nerve-- oh! I didn't see you there. Hello, captain. Did you just sail into port?
|
|
Aye, miss. And I be on the lookout for plunder and pillage. Of the late-thirties female variety.
|
|
But I'm married. Although to a pirate significantly less... SEXY... than yourself.
|
|
|
Aye. I have a way of shivering the female timbers.
|
Task: "Make Sexy Pirate Seduce Luann". The job takes place at the Van Houten House and takes 4 hours.
If Luann is owned: Task: "Make Luann Succumb to Flattery". The job takes place at the Van Houten House and takes 4 hours.
|
|
Have you killed many men in battle, you sexy, dangerous man?
|
|
|
Aye. I have killed the sexiest number of men -- nine.
|
Quest reward:  100 and  10
|
|
Pt. 2
| After tapping on Sexy Pirate's exclamation mark
|
|
|
Hoist up the mainsail, me mateys, because thar... she... blows.
|
|
I bet you use that lame pick-up line on women all the time.
|
|
Yes. I lack imagination, due to my overall low intelligence. But I make up for it with incredible sexiness.
|
|
Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I am happily married to an even sexier pirate: Mr. Homer J. Simpson.
|
|
He must be very sexy indeed. Which is exactly why I MUST steal his woman!
|
| Task: "Make Sexy Pirate Try to Seduce Marge". The job takes 8 hours.
|
|
Get away from my wife before I rip out your seductive heart and cram it down your arousing throat!
|
|
|
Sexily, I comply.
|
| Quest reward: 100 and 10
|
|
Pt. 3
| After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
|
|
Why don't you go back to the sea, you titillating jerk?
|
|
|
I... I cannot. I hang my luscious head in shame.
|
|
Why can't you go to sea? You're a sexy PIRATE, right?
|
|
|
Sexy, I am. But a pirate? No. I was born, you see, in a Florida theme park.
|
|
|
Raised from ravishing birth, I was, to play the role of Sexy Pirate, a character from a beloved movie franchise.
|
|
|
At the age of two, I could apply eye liner to my perfect face. I could tie a scarf at three. But I never learned the ways of the sea.
|
| Task: "Make Sexy Pirate Hang His Head in Shame". The job takes place at a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
|
|
|
I am a fraud! A disgusting, chiseled, irresistible, sensual fraud!
|
| Quest reward: 100 and 10
|
|
Pt. 4
| After tapping on Sexy Pirate's exclamation mark
|
|
|
I am tired of living a super hot lie.
|
|
You poor, gorgeous man. Get it all out.
|
|
|
Tired of sculpting my flawless physique in the gym. Tired of yearning to make love to my own reflection.
|
|
|
But most of all, I am tired of being able to take any woman I want, at any time. In any way. Anywhere.
|
|
You don't have to be sexy anymore.
|
|
|
It is true? Can I truly stop lying, and happily grow as disgusting as you?
|
| Task: "Make Sexy Pirate Let It All Hang Out". The job takes 60 minutes.
|
|
Ahhh... after a lifetime, I finally know what carbs taste like. One percent body fat, and rising!
|
| Quest reward: 100 and 10
|
|
Pt. 5
| After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
|
|
Homer Simpson! You've ruined our sexy pirate!
|
|
|
Ruined? Why, I've merely shown him a world of sloth and obesity, a heaven all men are entitled to.
|
|
|
No, Homer. Alas, the desperate housewife is correct. A lazy slob, I cannot be.
|
|
|
Sexy pirates are put on this earth to tantalize. Without us, the lives of women everywhere are meaningless.
|
|
|
I see that now. I thank you, Homer, for the brief glimpse of paradise you have given me.
|
|
|
Now, to sexiness I return. Avast, ye middle aged ladies. Objectify me!
|
| Task: "Make Sexy Pirate Embrace His Inner Stereotype". The job takes place at a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
|
|
|
I will never forget the taste of donuts. But my place is in the weight room!
|
| Quest reward: 200 and 20
|
|
